Maria and Brittany in the Talent Show last Spring:
Wednesday 24 December 2008
Gymnastics Meets in 2008
Posted on 21:47 by Unknown
Here's a montage of Maria in some of her meets from this year:
Christmas Musical
Posted on 21:45 by Unknown
Clips from Maria in her school musical a week ago. Note her spot-on voicing of a Charlie Brown Christmas character:
Summer Vacation 2008
Posted on 21:42 by Unknown
A movie of our trip to Philly, Boston, New York and Washington. Somehow, we didn't get a single pic of our friends, Sheri and Evan, which seems so wrong.
With that great omission confessed, enjoy the rest:
With that great omission confessed, enjoy the rest:
Sunday 21 December 2008
Like You and Like I (A Christmas Meditation
Posted on 21:50 by Unknown
I didn't think I'd get a Christmas devotional done this year. But it looks like I did. You can hear most of this in audio form by clicking here. You can read it by just continuing below. Hope you're having a blessed holiday...
There is an old story I have heard various folks --from conservative preachers to liberal rabbis-- tell. Which probably means it’s a good one. You may have heard this before in a slightly different form...
Once there was a young boy, perhaps four-years-old, afraid of the dark and of “monsters under the bed.” One night, he calls for his Mom in the middle of the night, and shares his fears about it.
They turn on the light. They look under the bed. Much to his relief, there are no monsters.
Moments later, he calls to her again, and she comes running again. He tells her that he is sure there are monsters in the closet. So, they open up the closet, push back the clothes. No monsters.
Sensing that he needs additional reassuring, she reminds him that she is right down the hall, and that he is completely safe.
And, she adds, “Even when Mommy is not with you, God is with you. You can pray to God, and God will help keep you safe.”
She kisses him goodnight, and heads off to bed.
But, the boy stares into the dark, his eyes wide open, thinking now not only of monsters under the bed, but also of Mommy down the hall, and of prayers to God. The boy thinks and thinks. Fnally, he can stand it no more, and so he calls out one more time. “Moommy!!!”
His mother comes running.
“What is it, dear?”
“Mommy,” he says, “I’ve been thinking about this God-thing. I know that I can pray to God. But I think what I need is a God will a little skin on ‘em.”
A God with a little skin on ‘em.
Wouldn’t it be GREAT to worship a “God will a little skin on ‘em?”
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known through the embrace of a child, or the laughter of a wise old man?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God of a mother love’s or father’s hug?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known in the passion of lovers, or the compassion of those serving a meal to the homeless?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known through the use of our senses...our touch, smell, taste, sight...hearing?”
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known through music, art, dance, spoken word?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a “God with a little skin on ‘em?”
Oh...wait...We already do...
I forgot.
Maybe you did too?
You see, dear friends, this IS the message of Christmas. We call it Christmas, but it might be more helpful to call it “The Festival of a God With a Little Skin on ‘Em.”
The message of Christmas is a message of Incarnation. Incarnation is the big, sixty-four-million dollar theological world for “God with a little skin on ‘em.”
And Incarnation, dear friends, is a mind-blowing concept, once you start to really unpack it. God come to earth as a human being. The God who said the way to love and serve God is through loving and serving ourselves and others.
God who is not simply remote, transcendent, far away “other," but God who is as close as your breath. As near as the trees outside your window.
Process Theology has always been very important to me personally, and it was when I first grasped that process theology was saying that God was BOTH transcendent (beyond and removed from all time) AND immanent (a part of all time and space too) that I first understood Christmas...and, frankly, that I first came to realize I could accept the Christian story.
Because the myth, the “Meme,” the Ultimate Reality --whatever word your are comfortable with to describe what is basically a narrative story-- is that God came to earth, and that God continually comes to earth all the time.
Here’s how Frederick Buechner describes it in his great book, “Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC.” (One of my all-time favorite books, btw...) He says:
Friends, this is, at one and the same time, one of the hardest theological truths to understand, and also one of the most profound and most simple. The Christmas story is not about presents. It’s not about red or green bows. It’s not about saccarin Muzak carols in a shopping mall. It’s not about a big family meal.
It’s about God coming to earth as a human being, and about comprehending how beautiful and powerful that truth is. It’s about stepping back and being amazed at this truth....at how incredible and awe-inspiring it is.
God chose to be born in what was, at the time, a quite forgotten and lonely place. God was not born in a penthouse on the Upper West Side. God was born in the equivalent of Guatemala, or Haiti. God was not born to those in power of priviledge. God was born to unwed teen parents, who were more like refugees fleeing Darfur than shoppers hurrying into Neimans.
And my hunch is that the Christian story is told just this way so that we cannot miss the fact that God is born into all parts of our world.
This seems to be the mystery that Mary “gets” as she speaks her lines in the Gospel of Luke:
“...the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
God’s mercy is for those who fear God, from generation to generation.
God has shown strength with God’s arm;
God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
God has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly;
God has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.”
This is the real message of Christmas, dear friends. And yet, it is so completely foreign from the “cultural Christmas” all around us, that perhaps we even fail to hear it clearly.
As some of you know, sometimes my mind goes strange places. And this week I thought to myself: You know, every year, I get dozens of Christmas cards from friends far and wide. But it struck me that in all the years I have gotten Christmas cards, I have neve ONCE gotten a Christmas card with any of these scriptures from Luke...from Mary.
And so, I began to imagine in my head, a new set of very un-Hallmark like cards, created from the words of Mary.
Here’s what I see...On the outside, a normal average manger scene, bucholic and peaceful.
And on the inside, a greeting like this:
“God has scattered the proud in the imaginations of their hearts.
A Very Merry Christmas to You!”
“God has put down the Mighty and Lifted Up the Lowly
Seasons Greetings!”
“God has filled up the hungry and sent the rich empty away.
Warmest Christmas Blessings!”
Ever once gotten a card like this?
Me neither.
I’d love to, though. Because that’s the true Christmas message.
Now let me say a world about our society and our world. Because good news to the poor --good news to the marginalized-- can sometimes seem like BAD news to folks like us. Even with the economic crisis, we’re doing pretty well, comparitively. Everybody in this room is still among the top percentage of wealthiest people in the world.
So, when we hear this word that God comes to the poor, the lowly, the destitute...it can sounds like bad news to us...bad news FOR us.
But it’s really just good news for EVERYBODY. What the Christmas message says, really, is that there is no meaning to the word “Godforsaken.” There is no PLACE that is “Godforsaken.” There are no PEOPLE who are “Godforsaken.”
You know, Mary’s wonderment is also captured in the beauty of a song and dance that was offered up in our worship at church today. It was the American folk hymn "I Wonder as I Wander."
Folklorist and singer John Jacob Niles allegedly found the short phrases that became the genesis of this song, while in the town of Murphy in Appalachian North Carolina. It was 1933 and Niles attended a fundraising meeting held by evangelicals who had been ordered out of town by the police.
In his unpublished autobiography, he says this about it:
From that fragment, Niles crafted the song we now know. One of the verses goes like this:
"If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing
A star in the sky or a bird on the wing
Or all of God's Angels in heaven to sing
He surely could have it, 'cause he was the King"
You see? Just like Mary, the wonderment of the poor in Appalachia, realizing that God came to earth, not in Kingly form, but among the common folk in a common place.
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I;
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
Don’t you love the line ”For poor, on’ry people....like you and like I?”
I think it's my favorite.
See, everyday I hang around, and love, a lot of "on'ry people." Cynics. Skeptics. Those who are outright suspicious, or even hostile, toward organized religion (any of them, take your pick. Much less Christianity). That describes a lot of the folks in my church, God love 'em.
And the message of Christmas is that no place, no person, no part of this creation is Godforsaken. The incarnate God --God with a little skin on 'em-- is also born to the on'ry folks too.
Folks like you..like I.
(As always, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...)
There is an old story I have heard various folks --from conservative preachers to liberal rabbis-- tell. Which probably means it’s a good one. You may have heard this before in a slightly different form...
Once there was a young boy, perhaps four-years-old, afraid of the dark and of “monsters under the bed.” One night, he calls for his Mom in the middle of the night, and shares his fears about it.
They turn on the light. They look under the bed. Much to his relief, there are no monsters.
Moments later, he calls to her again, and she comes running again. He tells her that he is sure there are monsters in the closet. So, they open up the closet, push back the clothes. No monsters.
Sensing that he needs additional reassuring, she reminds him that she is right down the hall, and that he is completely safe.
And, she adds, “Even when Mommy is not with you, God is with you. You can pray to God, and God will help keep you safe.”
She kisses him goodnight, and heads off to bed.
But, the boy stares into the dark, his eyes wide open, thinking now not only of monsters under the bed, but also of Mommy down the hall, and of prayers to God. The boy thinks and thinks. Fnally, he can stand it no more, and so he calls out one more time. “Moommy!!!”
His mother comes running.
“What is it, dear?”
“Mommy,” he says, “I’ve been thinking about this God-thing. I know that I can pray to God. But I think what I need is a God will a little skin on ‘em.”
A God with a little skin on ‘em.
Wouldn’t it be GREAT to worship a “God will a little skin on ‘em?”
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known through the embrace of a child, or the laughter of a wise old man?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God of a mother love’s or father’s hug?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known in the passion of lovers, or the compassion of those serving a meal to the homeless?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known through the use of our senses...our touch, smell, taste, sight...hearing?”
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a God known through music, art, dance, spoken word?
Wouldn’t it be great to worship a “God with a little skin on ‘em?”
Oh...wait...We already do...
I forgot.
Maybe you did too?
You see, dear friends, this IS the message of Christmas. We call it Christmas, but it might be more helpful to call it “The Festival of a God With a Little Skin on ‘Em.”
The message of Christmas is a message of Incarnation. Incarnation is the big, sixty-four-million dollar theological world for “God with a little skin on ‘em.”
And Incarnation, dear friends, is a mind-blowing concept, once you start to really unpack it. God come to earth as a human being. The God who said the way to love and serve God is through loving and serving ourselves and others.
God who is not simply remote, transcendent, far away “other," but God who is as close as your breath. As near as the trees outside your window.
Process Theology has always been very important to me personally, and it was when I first grasped that process theology was saying that God was BOTH transcendent (beyond and removed from all time) AND immanent (a part of all time and space too) that I first understood Christmas...and, frankly, that I first came to realize I could accept the Christian story.
Because the myth, the “Meme,” the Ultimate Reality --whatever word your are comfortable with to describe what is basically a narrative story-- is that God came to earth, and that God continually comes to earth all the time.
Here’s how Frederick Buechner describes it in his great book, “Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC.” (One of my all-time favorite books, btw...) He says:
"The word became flesh," wrote John, "and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14). That is what incarnation means. It is untheological. It is unsophisticated. It is undignified. But according to Christianity, it is the way things are....
All religions and philosophies that deny the reality or the significance of the material, the fleshly, the earthbound, are themselves denied. Moses at the burning bush was told to take off his shoes because the ground on which he stood was holy ground (Exodus 3:5), and incarnation means that all ground is holy ground because God not only made it but walked on it, ate and slept and worked and died on it. If we are saved anywhere, we are saved here. And what is saved is not some diaphanous distillation of our bodies and our earth, but our bodies and our earth themselves...”
One of the blunders religious people are particularly fond of making is the attempt to be more spiritual than God."
Friends, this is, at one and the same time, one of the hardest theological truths to understand, and also one of the most profound and most simple. The Christmas story is not about presents. It’s not about red or green bows. It’s not about saccarin Muzak carols in a shopping mall. It’s not about a big family meal.
It’s about God coming to earth as a human being, and about comprehending how beautiful and powerful that truth is. It’s about stepping back and being amazed at this truth....at how incredible and awe-inspiring it is.
God chose to be born in what was, at the time, a quite forgotten and lonely place. God was not born in a penthouse on the Upper West Side. God was born in the equivalent of Guatemala, or Haiti. God was not born to those in power of priviledge. God was born to unwed teen parents, who were more like refugees fleeing Darfur than shoppers hurrying into Neimans.
And my hunch is that the Christian story is told just this way so that we cannot miss the fact that God is born into all parts of our world.
This seems to be the mystery that Mary “gets” as she speaks her lines in the Gospel of Luke:
“...the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
God’s mercy is for those who fear God, from generation to generation.
God has shown strength with God’s arm;
God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
God has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly;
God has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.”
This is the real message of Christmas, dear friends. And yet, it is so completely foreign from the “cultural Christmas” all around us, that perhaps we even fail to hear it clearly.
As some of you know, sometimes my mind goes strange places. And this week I thought to myself: You know, every year, I get dozens of Christmas cards from friends far and wide. But it struck me that in all the years I have gotten Christmas cards, I have neve ONCE gotten a Christmas card with any of these scriptures from Luke...from Mary.
And so, I began to imagine in my head, a new set of very un-Hallmark like cards, created from the words of Mary.
Here’s what I see...On the outside, a normal average manger scene, bucholic and peaceful.
And on the inside, a greeting like this:
“God has scattered the proud in the imaginations of their hearts.
A Very Merry Christmas to You!”
“God has put down the Mighty and Lifted Up the Lowly
Seasons Greetings!”
“God has filled up the hungry and sent the rich empty away.
Warmest Christmas Blessings!”
Ever once gotten a card like this?
Me neither.
I’d love to, though. Because that’s the true Christmas message.
Now let me say a world about our society and our world. Because good news to the poor --good news to the marginalized-- can sometimes seem like BAD news to folks like us. Even with the economic crisis, we’re doing pretty well, comparitively. Everybody in this room is still among the top percentage of wealthiest people in the world.
So, when we hear this word that God comes to the poor, the lowly, the destitute...it can sounds like bad news to us...bad news FOR us.
But it’s really just good news for EVERYBODY. What the Christmas message says, really, is that there is no meaning to the word “Godforsaken.” There is no PLACE that is “Godforsaken.” There are no PEOPLE who are “Godforsaken.”
You know, Mary’s wonderment is also captured in the beauty of a song and dance that was offered up in our worship at church today. It was the American folk hymn "I Wonder as I Wander."
Folklorist and singer John Jacob Niles allegedly found the short phrases that became the genesis of this song, while in the town of Murphy in Appalachian North Carolina. It was 1933 and Niles attended a fundraising meeting held by evangelicals who had been ordered out of town by the police.
In his unpublished autobiography, he says this about it:
“A girl had stepped out to the edge of the little platform attached to the automobile. She began to sing. Her clothes were unbelievable dirty and ragged, and she, too, was unwashed. Her ash-blond hair hung down in long skeins.... But, best of all, she was beautiful, and in her untutored way, she could sing. She smiled as she sang, smiled rather sadly, and sang only a single line of a song.”
From that fragment, Niles crafted the song we now know. One of the verses goes like this:
"If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing
A star in the sky or a bird on the wing
Or all of God's Angels in heaven to sing
He surely could have it, 'cause he was the King"
You see? Just like Mary, the wonderment of the poor in Appalachia, realizing that God came to earth, not in Kingly form, but among the common folk in a common place.
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I;
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
Don’t you love the line ”For poor, on’ry people....like you and like I?”
I think it's my favorite.
See, everyday I hang around, and love, a lot of "on'ry people." Cynics. Skeptics. Those who are outright suspicious, or even hostile, toward organized religion (any of them, take your pick. Much less Christianity). That describes a lot of the folks in my church, God love 'em.
And the message of Christmas is that no place, no person, no part of this creation is Godforsaken. The incarnate God --God with a little skin on 'em-- is also born to the on'ry folks too.
Folks like you..like I.
(As always, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...)
Friday 12 December 2008
Northaven Staff Advent Liturgical Dance
Posted on 21:51 by Unknown
Never let it be said that my staff does not have a sense of humor...
You may not realize this, but our hard-working Northaven staff has been busy perfecting our first ever musical dance number.
After weeks of practice, we've polished very move, hired a professional director, and cut our first Northaven Staff Music Video.
So, what follows is the World Premier of the "Northaven Staff Advent Liturgical Dance," sent to you with our sincere love, gratitude, and the hope for more smiles throughout these holidays.
If you can't see the player above, click here.
If you are so deeply moved that you'd like to watch again and again, have at the download.
Merry Christmas, and many smiles, to you all,
You may not realize this, but our hard-working Northaven staff has been busy perfecting our first ever musical dance number.
After weeks of practice, we've polished very move, hired a professional director, and cut our first Northaven Staff Music Video.
So, what follows is the World Premier of the "Northaven Staff Advent Liturgical Dance," sent to you with our sincere love, gratitude, and the hope for more smiles throughout these holidays.
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
![](http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyMjkwODc5MzczMDgmcHQ9MTIyOTA4Nzk1MzM1MiZwPTQxODgxMyZkPTIwMjY3NSZnPTImdD*mbz*yY2UyM2RlYzUxMmY*OTc3ODAxM2FjMzg4YWQ1YzIwMw==.gif)
If you can't see the player above, click here.
If you are so deeply moved that you'd like to watch again and again, have at the download.
Merry Christmas, and many smiles, to you all,
Sunday 7 December 2008
Other Seas
Posted on 21:53 by Unknown
t's the morning after Kathleen Baskin-Ball's memorial service, and I just wanted to dash of a quick word of gratitude...
First, to Kathleen...for her incredible life, for the way she chose to die, and for the powerful worship service that she herself designed prior to her passing.
To her family, and especially Bill and Skyler...and their faithful love of her in this time.
For those who were there, we will not soon forget Skyler confidently shouting "I know that already!!!" to the the statement that his Mom loves him more than all the M&Ms in the world. I hope and pray he never forgets that.
Would that we all --when we hear the word of God that we are deeply loved by God-- be able to shout with similar confidence...
"We know that already!!!"
We so often forget. Which is, of course, a big part of why we keep going back to church to be reminded.
I give thanks for the extraordinary clergy women who were great soul friends of Kathleen's, and whom I also count as some of my close clergy friends...
Cammy
Mary Beth
Marti
Diana
Lisa
Some of these I've known since we were in seminary almost twenty years ago. Others I've been on mission trips with, and shared book study groups. One, I've known since we were kids.
You get busy in life, and you don't see your colleagues and friends every day. But, "WOW." What a reminder of what incredible spiritual leaders they are.
Thanks to all the rest of those who took part in the service as well, and for those of you who thanked me for the Children's Time afterwards. Let me say two things about that moment...
First, when Kathleen asked me to do it, I said "yes" without even thinking. If she'd asked me to be a floor-scrubber yesterday, I would have said yes.
But in the car, on the way home that day she asked, and upon further reflection, I did wonder, "Whaah? A Children's Time during a Memorial Service?!!! How's THAT gonna work? And especially THIS service?"
So, here's the truth: I just tried to think of how Kathleen might talk to kids in that moment, and that's what I said. If it was helpful, thank her...because her modeling for us how we should love and honor kids is a part of what wrote it.
Then, on about Wednesday, I had another thought of terror: What if no kids come? I mean, lots of times, there are no kids at a Memorial Service. What if it's just Skyler and a couple of his cousins?
It would have been OK, truth-be-told. But I did worry.
And then, yesterday, after the open invitation to come, DOZENS of kids (maybe forty?) came forward for the Children's Time. It was an amazing moment to see them all.
And after the service, several of us said together, "Well, we weren't too sure that would work. But Kathleen? She knew...She knew..."
For those of you who weren't there, my message during the Children's Time was basically the same as the message of my blog the other day. In fact, if you were there, and you re-read the blog, you'll note how the message is very similar. Yesterday, I just tried to put that message in the form that kids might also be able to hear.
Thanks also to all those who thanked me in person for the blog. Blogs are funny in that even if you get written comments of gratitude, it's not like getting a hug from someone. So, it was nice to get the hugs. As I said before, I wrote it for the totally selfish reason of working through my own grief. I'm pleased it's being passed around and is helping others, though. That's an humbling thing.
This morning, my thoughts will be with the staff and people of Suncreek. For while many of us will go back to other churches where we'll be able to lean on our clergy, it's that very center-point of church life that is painfully missing there. So, my thoughts and prayers are with them.
UPDATE: The DMN has published a short video to their website. It's only 2 minutes, so it only scratches the surface of this powerful service. See it here.
The only time I almost lost myself in tears during the service yesterday was during a hymn that I know by heart: "Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore."
Like much of the music yesterday, it comes from the Latino/a tradition. It's in our UM Hymnal, and I've sung it a lot. The lilting Spanish music is perfect for the lyrics. But there was one part that, even though I've heard it a thousand times, I heard differently yesterday.
It's near the very end of the song, as the melody rises just a bit. There was something about the last line that made a lump well up in my throat, and I almost lost it.
It's a song about calling...ostensibly about the calling of the disciples. But in that moment, what I heard was Kathleen singing these lines to God:
Kathleen --having been called by God so long ago, and having served God so faithfully in all she did in life-- has indeed left her boat on the shoreline, behind her.
And in the mercy of God's everlasting love, she seeks other seas.
First, to Kathleen...for her incredible life, for the way she chose to die, and for the powerful worship service that she herself designed prior to her passing.
To her family, and especially Bill and Skyler...and their faithful love of her in this time.
For those who were there, we will not soon forget Skyler confidently shouting "I know that already!!!" to the the statement that his Mom loves him more than all the M&Ms in the world. I hope and pray he never forgets that.
Would that we all --when we hear the word of God that we are deeply loved by God-- be able to shout with similar confidence...
"We know that already!!!"
We so often forget. Which is, of course, a big part of why we keep going back to church to be reminded.
I give thanks for the extraordinary clergy women who were great soul friends of Kathleen's, and whom I also count as some of my close clergy friends...
Cammy
Mary Beth
Marti
Diana
Lisa
Some of these I've known since we were in seminary almost twenty years ago. Others I've been on mission trips with, and shared book study groups. One, I've known since we were kids.
You get busy in life, and you don't see your colleagues and friends every day. But, "WOW." What a reminder of what incredible spiritual leaders they are.
Thanks to all the rest of those who took part in the service as well, and for those of you who thanked me for the Children's Time afterwards. Let me say two things about that moment...
First, when Kathleen asked me to do it, I said "yes" without even thinking. If she'd asked me to be a floor-scrubber yesterday, I would have said yes.
But in the car, on the way home that day she asked, and upon further reflection, I did wonder, "Whaah? A Children's Time during a Memorial Service?!!! How's THAT gonna work? And especially THIS service?"
So, here's the truth: I just tried to think of how Kathleen might talk to kids in that moment, and that's what I said. If it was helpful, thank her...because her modeling for us how we should love and honor kids is a part of what wrote it.
Then, on about Wednesday, I had another thought of terror: What if no kids come? I mean, lots of times, there are no kids at a Memorial Service. What if it's just Skyler and a couple of his cousins?
It would have been OK, truth-be-told. But I did worry.
And then, yesterday, after the open invitation to come, DOZENS of kids (maybe forty?) came forward for the Children's Time. It was an amazing moment to see them all.
And after the service, several of us said together, "Well, we weren't too sure that would work. But Kathleen? She knew...She knew..."
For those of you who weren't there, my message during the Children's Time was basically the same as the message of my blog the other day. In fact, if you were there, and you re-read the blog, you'll note how the message is very similar. Yesterday, I just tried to put that message in the form that kids might also be able to hear.
Thanks also to all those who thanked me in person for the blog. Blogs are funny in that even if you get written comments of gratitude, it's not like getting a hug from someone. So, it was nice to get the hugs. As I said before, I wrote it for the totally selfish reason of working through my own grief. I'm pleased it's being passed around and is helping others, though. That's an humbling thing.
This morning, my thoughts will be with the staff and people of Suncreek. For while many of us will go back to other churches where we'll be able to lean on our clergy, it's that very center-point of church life that is painfully missing there. So, my thoughts and prayers are with them.
UPDATE: The DMN has published a short video to their website. It's only 2 minutes, so it only scratches the surface of this powerful service. See it here.
![](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/sidebarbarleft.jpg)
The only time I almost lost myself in tears during the service yesterday was during a hymn that I know by heart: "Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore."
Like much of the music yesterday, it comes from the Latino/a tradition. It's in our UM Hymnal, and I've sung it a lot. The lilting Spanish music is perfect for the lyrics. But there was one part that, even though I've heard it a thousand times, I heard differently yesterday.
It's near the very end of the song, as the melody rises just a bit. There was something about the last line that made a lump well up in my throat, and I almost lost it.
It's a song about calling...ostensibly about the calling of the disciples. But in that moment, what I heard was Kathleen singing these lines to God:
"O Lord, with your eyes you have searched me, and while smiling have spoken my name;
Now my boat's left on the shoreline behind me; by your side I will seek other seas."
Kathleen --having been called by God so long ago, and having served God so faithfully in all she did in life-- has indeed left her boat on the shoreline, behind her.
And in the mercy of God's everlasting love, she seeks other seas.
Wednesday 3 December 2008
As If We're S'posed to Know (A Tribute to Kathleen Baskin-Ball)
Posted on 21:55 by Unknown
I was at a memorial service for a church member's mother yesterday morning, and had my phone off most of the time. But when I got out of that service, within seconds of turning it on, there was a call from Bill that Kathleen Baskin-Ball had died a short time before. I just happened to be about 10 minutes away, and so yesterday I spent the better part of the afternoon at their home with family and friends. It was a tough day, to say the least.
No blog, no memorial, can ever be eloquent enough to honor the life of such an incredible woman. Others will offer their own thoughts at various times, I am sure. And I sense that her service Saturday will be a marvelous celebration of the various parts of her life and ministry.
All this is to say that, as with much of the writing I do here, this entry is as much as part of my own catharsis and healing as anything else. If others find it meaningful, all the better...EF
![](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/sidebarbarleft.jpg)
"My, but we learn so slow
And heroes, they come and they go
And leave us behind, as if we're s'posed to know
Why..."
-- Joe Walsh (The Eagles), "Pretty Maids All in a Row"
"But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies..."
"So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal."
-- St. Paul (from 2 Corinthians)
Kathleen Baskin-Ball was a good friend. I can say that about her. And I can I promise you that dozens --perhaps hundreds-- of other people can say that about her too. In fact, a funny thing happened to me this past week. At least three of my clergy friends told me exactly the same story. Three of them, to a person, said something like this:
"I always thought that Kathleen was one of my best friends....but then I gradually grew to understand that everybody feels that way about her!!!"
I suppose at first, when you learn this truth, it can be a little off-putting. But you eventually come to realize it says very little about you and everything about her.
Kathleen was better at finding, keeping, and loving friends than perhaps any other human being I know. She had a unique sense of being able to fold-in those close to her, to make friends, loved ones, church members, feel special and loved.
Whether Kathleen was in the presence of a Latina single-mother from West Dallas, or a United Methodist Bishop from West Texas, Kathleen treated everyone she met not only with respect, but with a deep sense of love, affection, and caring. If you were with Kathleen, you got the sense that Kathleen cared about you...loved you....would do anything she could to help you. Perhaps it struck some people as a little unreal, almost "too good to be true." But it wasn't an act. It was who she was to the core.
My first memories of Kathleen were at Annual Conference events, when I would see from her across the room as she addressed us clergy-folk about "Nueva Esparanza," the church in West Dallas she served at the time. The church shares a corner of the Wesley-Rankin Center block.
I didn't know her personally then, just "knew of" her. But I remember thinking even then of what poise and grace she showed, to so confidently advocate and love the people of West Dallas. She understood that the ministry there was a special calling.
One of the things Kathleen did so well was to gather people together in groups. Somewhere along the way, some of my colleagues formed a book study group we came to call "Listening for God." (from the name of the first study-series we ever used...) I was a honored to be a part of it. Kathleen as also a member. It was in that group that I got to know her better. We'd meet about once-a-month for some years, ostensibly to study some book or guide, but also always to check in about what was going on in our lives. In that group, we loved and prayed each other through changes in ministry, through joyful and painful movements through our personal relationships, and through struggles about what it meant to be a part of "The Connection."
Kathleen struggled with leaving West Dallas and Nueva Esperanza. Folks worried about her, for her sake. As she readied to leave I think she probably knew that no ministry setting would ever again be filled with quite the same combination of heartbreak and reward. Those of us who knew her then know how she poured her heart and soul into it, even going so far as to live in the community. But being in that kind of ministry setting is a bit like being a doctor in a "M.A.S.H." unit. Eventually, for the sake of your own soul, you must get some distance, no matter how much you love the people, or how good you are at your job. And in getting that distance, you must trust that others will continue the work.
Kathleen moved from there to Greenland Hills UMC, in East Dallas, where John Thornburg served for many years. She had some marvelous years at Greenland Hills. And it was there that, through her stories about that church, I came to understand one of her most enduring character traits: Kathleen had the ability to take people of polar opposite opinions, and bind them together with the sheer force of her own personality and will.
On key issues of the day, such as homosexuality, people with completely opposite beliefs found themselves worshiping together at Greenland Hills, and staying united as the church. A part of this was surely the working of God. But another part of it was surely their love and respect for Kathleen. They understood that she trusted and loved them, no matter "where they were." And she was determined to model a church where everyone could be welcomed to the table equally, and where everyone could STAY at the table TOGETHER.
This is not an easy thing to do. Frankly, it takes an extraordinary personality to do it. And sometimes, it only happens through the sheer will of strong personalities like Kathleen's. For those looking in from the outside, she made it seem easy...like breathing. It flowed out of her, and it inspired people to be their best.
One night --in the months just before Kathleen went to Suncreek and I came to Northaven-- I had a CD Release party at Poor David's Pub down on Greenville Avenue. I invited all the folks I knew from the various parts of my life. Lots of family and musician friends came. So did lots of clergy friends, and so did lots of folks from HPUMC...especially the Single Adults that I'd worked with for many years.
I remember Kathleen was sitting at a front table, off stage right, with some Greenland Hills staff and some "LFG" friends. I remember her cheering loudly, almost to the point of embarrassing me! (She was going to make sure I knew how supportive she was!) Somewhere else among the crowd that night was Bill Ball, sitting at a table of HPUMC single adults. Bill and Kathleen had met years before. But on this night, they re-met.
Kathleen would later say that initially she thought Bill was probably a great guy, but a little young for her. And, actually, she thought about setting him up with somebody else she knew! (Always thinking of others...) But as the days passed, she eventually said to herself, "Why would I want to do that?!" (And as they met for coffee, getting to know each other better, Bill began asking her the same question!)
The only thing I remember of that time is that they both called me the week after the show.
Bill called to say something like, "Hey, I saw Kathleen Baskin at your CD release party..."
Kathleen said, "Hey, I hadn't seen that Bill Ball guy in years..."
Of course, being a typical guy, I was too dense to put two-and-two together at the time.But sparks were soon flying!!
I actually remembered one other tidbit from this time period when I sat down to write today. I remembered how, privately, each worried what everyone else would think of their romance. Kathleen worried how the Greenland Hills folks would take a new romance in her life. Bill --who was at the time the president of our largest Single Adult class at HPUMC-- worried how the singles there would take the news and what would happen to the class should he and Kathleen get married (which seemed more and more inevitable...).
And know, what? That was just like the two of them...to be concerned about how their love would affect others!
Soon, they were dating. Soon after that, they were married. And one of the high honors of my ministry was when I officiated at their wedding.
Bill and Kathleen were not a couple I would have originally put together. But once they were together, I could not imagine them apart. They were a marvelous team in life, and in ministry. They just seemed to "fit."
When Kathleen moved to Suncreek UMC in Allen, she did it like she did everything: with a sense of purpose and sense that what she was doing was greater than herself. She knew that a suburban setting would be far different from West Dallas, or even Old East Dallas. But I think she knew intuitively that she had the gifts and graces to be a truly marvelous pastor there. And I remember her taking quite seriously is her role as a woman leader and what an important step it would be for her to be appointed as a woman pastor to this large suburban setting. And, as anyone who's been paying attention knows, Suncreek has flourished and thrived under her leadership.
In fact, throughout her ministry, she always seemed keenly aware of how important it was for her to step into leadership roles, not only as a pastor, but as a woman pastor. When she was elected to lead our North Texas Delagation...or when she chaired a General Conference Committee...she did so not out of a sense of her own ambition, but also with a keen sense that her being there served as a role model for others. I remember very clear conversations with her about this, and always thought it beautiful that she sought to be role model for others.
Today, the day after her death, I woke up to the sense that there are likely thousands of grieving-people all over North Texas and beyond. Kathleen was such a LIGHT in so many people's lives that her death leaves a dark hole that likely cannot be filled. The harder truth about it is that we who are counted on to be spiritual guides --the clergy of the North Texas Conference-- are grieving as deeply and as painfully as anyone. If we are honest, many of us are feeling our own sense of loss and weakness.
In fact, I literally felt it Monday night. All through the evening, I felt that something wasn't quite right. I had headache, a stomach ache, and couldn't figure out why. I even started crying at one point, and told Bill yesterday that I almost called him. It seems clear to me now that there was some mysterious "spiritual sympathy" happening.
My intuition is that I'm not alone in that at this moment, and that perhaps thousands of others are feeling it too.
And so, in our weakness and tears, we find ourselves with "why" questions.
Here's an honest truth: at a time like this, we clergy struggle with those "why" questions just as much as the next person. That's what drew me to the lyrics from the Eagles' song, "Pretty Maids All in the Row," to start off this blog. Sometime last week, that song got stuck in my head, and over the past few days, I've realized that it was because of the lyric I quote above.
There is a sense that at times like these, people turn to us clergy-folk and ask us " why" questions...."as if we're s'posed to know...."
Friends, sometimes there are simply no good answers to the "why" questions of life's suffering. I realize that this is not a very satisfactory answer. And even as I write it (as one who is expected to have a brilliant answer) part of it feels like a copout. After all, aren't we "s'posed to know?"
But human beings have been struggling to find satisfactory answers to "why" questions for thousands of years, and the answers never seems to come. Heck, you could argue that the entire book of Job is one long essay about the futility of focusing on "why."
Perhaps there is a different place to focus...
In a Dallas Morning News story about Kathleen that came out just last week (from great reporter, Sam Hodges), a man who is friend and mentor to many of us, Bill McElvaney, suggested that at times like these, the best questions are not the "why" questions at all, but the "how" questions...
In the story, Bill asks: "How are we going to get through this and support one another?"
To my way of thinking, there is another "how" question out there too...and one that, frankly, holds a lot of inspiration and hope for us:
"How does how Kathleen died teach us to live?"
The older I get, the more I come to believe that often we die much as we have lived. Rabbi and Therapist, Edwin Friedman used to say transitional events, such as a death, do not so much mark a change in a person or a family, so much as they magnify and illuminate what is already present. As I said, the older I get, the more I tend to see that this is true.
So it is that if we've been fearful in life, we are often fearful as death approaches. If we have been loving in life, we are often loving as death draws near. Like all stereotypes, there are definitely exceptions to this rule. But the reason I bring it up here is to note how completely consistent Kathleen's life and death were to who she was as a person.
As many of you already know, Kathleen chose to die with extraordinary openness, grace, and love. Kathleen and Bill made a remarkable --almost unheard of-- choice over the past ten days: to throw open the doors of their home and their lives and welcome in anyone who wished to come, in order to say goodbye. On most days during her last week, she greeted first tens of people...then hundreds of people...and maybe even thousands for all anyone knows. She spent time with them. She told them how she felt about them. She listened patiently as they shared their feelings too.
It started, as Sam Hodges' DMN story notes, with an afternoon of clergy colleagues this past Monday. We clergy came through the door in a steady stream. And, on behalf of those of us who were there, I will observe that it felt like the heart of what our "Connection" is supposed to be....coming together for mutual support and love as brothers and sisters. Our "Connections" does not always feel that way. But thanks be to God when it does.
But that was just the beginning. Hundreds of friends from West Dallas, Greenland Hills, Suncreek, and beyond, came through to share some time with Kathleen. Carolers from Greenland Hills showed up Monday night. Kathleen shared a meal of Maine lobster with her covenant group and their spouses. Groups put up luminarias. Minister friends continued to stop by. A group of musician friends came in Friday night for a houseconcert and night of song. ( I was sorry to miss it!) In the midst of it, Kathleen managed to attend Thanksgiving celebrations at both the Baskin and Ball households.
And then, to top it off, there was this past Sunday, just a little more than a day before she died. Kathleen was scheduled to do quite a few baptisms during the Sunday morning service. And by the time it was finished, she had done 37 of them! To hear others tell it, the people simply kept coming and coming. When that was done, she spent the afternoon with the Suncreek Youth Choir and their families. And then she had one last visitation with folks from 5-7 pm. (They tell me that folks started lining up an hour ahead of time!).
And when those final visits were done, it seems now that she was done too. We had said our goodbyes to her, and she had said her's to us. And it was time to go.
Friends, I've talked to several minister friends in the past day and we all agree....even in our relatively decent physical condition, that kind of schedule would be draining. And I am sure it took a toll, and I know that there are some friends and family would rather have seen her not do any of it. And even among those who can begin to understand why she did it, there are many of us scratching our heads in awe that she was able to do it.
But one thing is clear: she would not have had it any other way.
There was no keeping everyone away, or keeping her away from everyone. One of Kathleen's most endearing traits has always been an openness about her life, an ability to laugh at herself and, frankly, an ability to not take herself too seriously even at times that might seem embarrassing, or even horrifying, to others. She had a lightness of being that allowed her to be bluntly open and vulnerable about herself and her situation when she was in the best of times, and when she was in the worst of times too.
So, in retrospect, all we can say is "of course she threw the doors of her home open, because that's what she always did. That was just Kathleen."
But, on this morning after, it seems clear to me now that even in her death she was showing us HOW.
How, not to die, but how to live. She reminded us that the great transition we make is not from "life to death," but from "life to life."
It's not that the why questions are not important. It's simply that the how questions mean a whole lot more.
How does God love us?
More deeply, broadly and passionately than we can possibly imagine. And with a love that never ends.
How are we to love each other?
In the same way...living each moment...embracing each obstacle that comes our way as simply a part of the journey of life into life.
How are we to die?
With the confidence that life never ends, that nothing is lost, that even in our most broken moments (perhaps especially in them) God is present.
When Kathleen was at Nueva Esperanza, one of the signs and symbols of that community was a chalice that came to be known as "Timothy's Cup." It was a communion chalice that became such a revered symbol it's image is now a part of the stained glass window in that church.
Timothy's Cup became famous when it was broken by one of the children of that community (Timothy). Kathleen and Sarah Wilke rescued the cup, used it as a teachable moment with Timothy, and the eventually found a way to piece the cup back together.
Ever after, Kathleen used that chalice as a sign and symbol for that community. It became for her an outward and visible symbol of the broken, yet sacred, nature of that community together....a reminder that in our brokenness we can still be whole and still be of God. I recall that she would occasionally bring that cup to Annual Conference events when she shared about the ministry of Nueva Esperanza.
It strikes me today that, near the end of her life, Kathleen became a living "Timothy's Cup." Her body, although broken and weak, was a still a powerful vessel for God's love and grace to so many people in these last weeks.
In the scripture at the beginning of this blog, Paul reminds us that our treasures here are on this earth are simple "jars of clay." Perhaps even our bodies are these jars?
This fact, Paul says, allows us to trust that any blessing and love brought forth from us is not ultimately our doing alone but God's. We are but vessels for the time we are here on earth. We are all, Paul says, vessels of Christ's brokenness and, yes, even vessels of Christ's death. Paul says we carry a sense of Christ's death in us, so that life can shine through us.
So, in the end, while there may be no good answers to the "why" questions, there may be some powerful answers to the "how" questions.
I believe I can say with great confidence that Paul describes how Kathleen Baskin-Ball lived. I believe he also describes how she died.
And perhaps the great sermon she was trying to teach us over these past ten days is that --to the level and to the extent God individually calls us(and everyone's call is different)-- we all ought to likewise live and die.
"In life, in death, in life beyond death, God is with us....we are not alone....thanks be to God!"
Or, as Kathleen would say, "Glory Be!"
![](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/sidebarbarleft.jpg)
No blog, no memorial, can ever be eloquent enough to honor the life of such an incredible woman. Others will offer their own thoughts at various times, I am sure. And I sense that her service Saturday will be a marvelous celebration of the various parts of her life and ministry.
All this is to say that, as with much of the writing I do here, this entry is as much as part of my own catharsis and healing as anything else. If others find it meaningful, all the better...EF
![](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/sidebarbarleft.jpg)
"My, but we learn so slow
And heroes, they come and they go
And leave us behind, as if we're s'posed to know
Why..."
-- Joe Walsh (The Eagles), "Pretty Maids All in a Row"
"But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies..."
"So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal."
-- St. Paul (from 2 Corinthians)
Kathleen Baskin-Ball was a good friend. I can say that about her. And I can I promise you that dozens --perhaps hundreds-- of other people can say that about her too. In fact, a funny thing happened to me this past week. At least three of my clergy friends told me exactly the same story. Three of them, to a person, said something like this:
"I always thought that Kathleen was one of my best friends....but then I gradually grew to understand that everybody feels that way about her!!!"
I suppose at first, when you learn this truth, it can be a little off-putting. But you eventually come to realize it says very little about you and everything about her.
Kathleen was better at finding, keeping, and loving friends than perhaps any other human being I know. She had a unique sense of being able to fold-in those close to her, to make friends, loved ones, church members, feel special and loved.
Whether Kathleen was in the presence of a Latina single-mother from West Dallas, or a United Methodist Bishop from West Texas, Kathleen treated everyone she met not only with respect, but with a deep sense of love, affection, and caring. If you were with Kathleen, you got the sense that Kathleen cared about you...loved you....would do anything she could to help you. Perhaps it struck some people as a little unreal, almost "too good to be true." But it wasn't an act. It was who she was to the core.
![Kathleen_easter](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/wheneftalks/files/page9_blog_entry331_1.jpg)
My first memories of Kathleen were at Annual Conference events, when I would see from her across the room as she addressed us clergy-folk about "Nueva Esparanza," the church in West Dallas she served at the time. The church shares a corner of the Wesley-Rankin Center block.
I didn't know her personally then, just "knew of" her. But I remember thinking even then of what poise and grace she showed, to so confidently advocate and love the people of West Dallas. She understood that the ministry there was a special calling.
One of the things Kathleen did so well was to gather people together in groups. Somewhere along the way, some of my colleagues formed a book study group we came to call "Listening for God." (from the name of the first study-series we ever used...) I was a honored to be a part of it. Kathleen as also a member. It was in that group that I got to know her better. We'd meet about once-a-month for some years, ostensibly to study some book or guide, but also always to check in about what was going on in our lives. In that group, we loved and prayed each other through changes in ministry, through joyful and painful movements through our personal relationships, and through struggles about what it meant to be a part of "The Connection."
Kathleen struggled with leaving West Dallas and Nueva Esperanza. Folks worried about her, for her sake. As she readied to leave I think she probably knew that no ministry setting would ever again be filled with quite the same combination of heartbreak and reward. Those of us who knew her then know how she poured her heart and soul into it, even going so far as to live in the community. But being in that kind of ministry setting is a bit like being a doctor in a "M.A.S.H." unit. Eventually, for the sake of your own soul, you must get some distance, no matter how much you love the people, or how good you are at your job. And in getting that distance, you must trust that others will continue the work.
Kathleen moved from there to Greenland Hills UMC, in East Dallas, where John Thornburg served for many years. She had some marvelous years at Greenland Hills. And it was there that, through her stories about that church, I came to understand one of her most enduring character traits: Kathleen had the ability to take people of polar opposite opinions, and bind them together with the sheer force of her own personality and will.
On key issues of the day, such as homosexuality, people with completely opposite beliefs found themselves worshiping together at Greenland Hills, and staying united as the church. A part of this was surely the working of God. But another part of it was surely their love and respect for Kathleen. They understood that she trusted and loved them, no matter "where they were." And she was determined to model a church where everyone could be welcomed to the table equally, and where everyone could STAY at the table TOGETHER.
This is not an easy thing to do. Frankly, it takes an extraordinary personality to do it. And sometimes, it only happens through the sheer will of strong personalities like Kathleen's. For those looking in from the outside, she made it seem easy...like breathing. It flowed out of her, and it inspired people to be their best.
One night --in the months just before Kathleen went to Suncreek and I came to Northaven-- I had a CD Release party at Poor David's Pub down on Greenville Avenue. I invited all the folks I knew from the various parts of my life. Lots of family and musician friends came. So did lots of clergy friends, and so did lots of folks from HPUMC...especially the Single Adults that I'd worked with for many years.
I remember Kathleen was sitting at a front table, off stage right, with some Greenland Hills staff and some "LFG" friends. I remember her cheering loudly, almost to the point of embarrassing me! (She was going to make sure I knew how supportive she was!) Somewhere else among the crowd that night was Bill Ball, sitting at a table of HPUMC single adults. Bill and Kathleen had met years before. But on this night, they re-met.
Kathleen would later say that initially she thought Bill was probably a great guy, but a little young for her. And, actually, she thought about setting him up with somebody else she knew! (Always thinking of others...) But as the days passed, she eventually said to herself, "Why would I want to do that?!" (And as they met for coffee, getting to know each other better, Bill began asking her the same question!)
The only thing I remember of that time is that they both called me the week after the show.
Bill called to say something like, "Hey, I saw Kathleen Baskin at your CD release party..."
Kathleen said, "Hey, I hadn't seen that Bill Ball guy in years..."
Of course, being a typical guy, I was too dense to put two-and-two together at the time.But sparks were soon flying!!
I actually remembered one other tidbit from this time period when I sat down to write today. I remembered how, privately, each worried what everyone else would think of their romance. Kathleen worried how the Greenland Hills folks would take a new romance in her life. Bill --who was at the time the president of our largest Single Adult class at HPUMC-- worried how the singles there would take the news and what would happen to the class should he and Kathleen get married (which seemed more and more inevitable...).
And know, what? That was just like the two of them...to be concerned about how their love would affect others!
Soon, they were dating. Soon after that, they were married. And one of the high honors of my ministry was when I officiated at their wedding.
Bill and Kathleen were not a couple I would have originally put together. But once they were together, I could not imagine them apart. They were a marvelous team in life, and in ministry. They just seemed to "fit."
When Kathleen moved to Suncreek UMC in Allen, she did it like she did everything: with a sense of purpose and sense that what she was doing was greater than herself. She knew that a suburban setting would be far different from West Dallas, or even Old East Dallas. But I think she knew intuitively that she had the gifts and graces to be a truly marvelous pastor there. And I remember her taking quite seriously is her role as a woman leader and what an important step it would be for her to be appointed as a woman pastor to this large suburban setting. And, as anyone who's been paying attention knows, Suncreek has flourished and thrived under her leadership.
In fact, throughout her ministry, she always seemed keenly aware of how important it was for her to step into leadership roles, not only as a pastor, but as a woman pastor. When she was elected to lead our North Texas Delagation...or when she chaired a General Conference Committee...she did so not out of a sense of her own ambition, but also with a keen sense that her being there served as a role model for others. I remember very clear conversations with her about this, and always thought it beautiful that she sought to be role model for others.
![](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/sidebarbarleft.jpg)
Today, the day after her death, I woke up to the sense that there are likely thousands of grieving-people all over North Texas and beyond. Kathleen was such a LIGHT in so many people's lives that her death leaves a dark hole that likely cannot be filled. The harder truth about it is that we who are counted on to be spiritual guides --the clergy of the North Texas Conference-- are grieving as deeply and as painfully as anyone. If we are honest, many of us are feeling our own sense of loss and weakness.
In fact, I literally felt it Monday night. All through the evening, I felt that something wasn't quite right. I had headache, a stomach ache, and couldn't figure out why. I even started crying at one point, and told Bill yesterday that I almost called him. It seems clear to me now that there was some mysterious "spiritual sympathy" happening.
My intuition is that I'm not alone in that at this moment, and that perhaps thousands of others are feeling it too.
And so, in our weakness and tears, we find ourselves with "why" questions.
Here's an honest truth: at a time like this, we clergy struggle with those "why" questions just as much as the next person. That's what drew me to the lyrics from the Eagles' song, "Pretty Maids All in the Row," to start off this blog. Sometime last week, that song got stuck in my head, and over the past few days, I've realized that it was because of the lyric I quote above.
There is a sense that at times like these, people turn to us clergy-folk and ask us " why" questions...."as if we're s'posed to know...."
Friends, sometimes there are simply no good answers to the "why" questions of life's suffering. I realize that this is not a very satisfactory answer. And even as I write it (as one who is expected to have a brilliant answer) part of it feels like a copout. After all, aren't we "s'posed to know?"
But human beings have been struggling to find satisfactory answers to "why" questions for thousands of years, and the answers never seems to come. Heck, you could argue that the entire book of Job is one long essay about the futility of focusing on "why."
Perhaps there is a different place to focus...
In a Dallas Morning News story about Kathleen that came out just last week (from great reporter, Sam Hodges), a man who is friend and mentor to many of us, Bill McElvaney, suggested that at times like these, the best questions are not the "why" questions at all, but the "how" questions...
In the story, Bill asks: "How are we going to get through this and support one another?"
To my way of thinking, there is another "how" question out there too...and one that, frankly, holds a lot of inspiration and hope for us:
"How does how Kathleen died teach us to live?"
The older I get, the more I come to believe that often we die much as we have lived. Rabbi and Therapist, Edwin Friedman used to say transitional events, such as a death, do not so much mark a change in a person or a family, so much as they magnify and illuminate what is already present. As I said, the older I get, the more I tend to see that this is true.
So it is that if we've been fearful in life, we are often fearful as death approaches. If we have been loving in life, we are often loving as death draws near. Like all stereotypes, there are definitely exceptions to this rule. But the reason I bring it up here is to note how completely consistent Kathleen's life and death were to who she was as a person.
As many of you already know, Kathleen chose to die with extraordinary openness, grace, and love. Kathleen and Bill made a remarkable --almost unheard of-- choice over the past ten days: to throw open the doors of their home and their lives and welcome in anyone who wished to come, in order to say goodbye. On most days during her last week, she greeted first tens of people...then hundreds of people...and maybe even thousands for all anyone knows. She spent time with them. She told them how she felt about them. She listened patiently as they shared their feelings too.
It started, as Sam Hodges' DMN story notes, with an afternoon of clergy colleagues this past Monday. We clergy came through the door in a steady stream. And, on behalf of those of us who were there, I will observe that it felt like the heart of what our "Connection" is supposed to be....coming together for mutual support and love as brothers and sisters. Our "Connections" does not always feel that way. But thanks be to God when it does.
But that was just the beginning. Hundreds of friends from West Dallas, Greenland Hills, Suncreek, and beyond, came through to share some time with Kathleen. Carolers from Greenland Hills showed up Monday night. Kathleen shared a meal of Maine lobster with her covenant group and their spouses. Groups put up luminarias. Minister friends continued to stop by. A group of musician friends came in Friday night for a houseconcert and night of song. ( I was sorry to miss it!) In the midst of it, Kathleen managed to attend Thanksgiving celebrations at both the Baskin and Ball households.
And then, to top it off, there was this past Sunday, just a little more than a day before she died. Kathleen was scheduled to do quite a few baptisms during the Sunday morning service. And by the time it was finished, she had done 37 of them! To hear others tell it, the people simply kept coming and coming. When that was done, she spent the afternoon with the Suncreek Youth Choir and their families. And then she had one last visitation with folks from 5-7 pm. (They tell me that folks started lining up an hour ahead of time!).
And when those final visits were done, it seems now that she was done too. We had said our goodbyes to her, and she had said her's to us. And it was time to go.
Friends, I've talked to several minister friends in the past day and we all agree....even in our relatively decent physical condition, that kind of schedule would be draining. And I am sure it took a toll, and I know that there are some friends and family would rather have seen her not do any of it. And even among those who can begin to understand why she did it, there are many of us scratching our heads in awe that she was able to do it.
But one thing is clear: she would not have had it any other way.
There was no keeping everyone away, or keeping her away from everyone. One of Kathleen's most endearing traits has always been an openness about her life, an ability to laugh at herself and, frankly, an ability to not take herself too seriously even at times that might seem embarrassing, or even horrifying, to others. She had a lightness of being that allowed her to be bluntly open and vulnerable about herself and her situation when she was in the best of times, and when she was in the worst of times too.
So, in retrospect, all we can say is "of course she threw the doors of her home open, because that's what she always did. That was just Kathleen."
But, on this morning after, it seems clear to me now that even in her death she was showing us HOW.
How, not to die, but how to live. She reminded us that the great transition we make is not from "life to death," but from "life to life."
It's not that the why questions are not important. It's simply that the how questions mean a whole lot more.
How does God love us?
More deeply, broadly and passionately than we can possibly imagine. And with a love that never ends.
How are we to love each other?
In the same way...living each moment...embracing each obstacle that comes our way as simply a part of the journey of life into life.
How are we to die?
With the confidence that life never ends, that nothing is lost, that even in our most broken moments (perhaps especially in them) God is present.
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When Kathleen was at Nueva Esperanza, one of the signs and symbols of that community was a chalice that came to be known as "Timothy's Cup." It was a communion chalice that became such a revered symbol it's image is now a part of the stained glass window in that church.
Timothy's Cup became famous when it was broken by one of the children of that community (Timothy). Kathleen and Sarah Wilke rescued the cup, used it as a teachable moment with Timothy, and the eventually found a way to piece the cup back together.
![n_esper1_b_y](http://www.ericfolkerth.com/wheneftalks/files/page9_blog_entry331_2.jpg)
Ever after, Kathleen used that chalice as a sign and symbol for that community. It became for her an outward and visible symbol of the broken, yet sacred, nature of that community together....a reminder that in our brokenness we can still be whole and still be of God. I recall that she would occasionally bring that cup to Annual Conference events when she shared about the ministry of Nueva Esperanza.
It strikes me today that, near the end of her life, Kathleen became a living "Timothy's Cup." Her body, although broken and weak, was a still a powerful vessel for God's love and grace to so many people in these last weeks.
In the scripture at the beginning of this blog, Paul reminds us that our treasures here are on this earth are simple "jars of clay." Perhaps even our bodies are these jars?
This fact, Paul says, allows us to trust that any blessing and love brought forth from us is not ultimately our doing alone but God's. We are but vessels for the time we are here on earth. We are all, Paul says, vessels of Christ's brokenness and, yes, even vessels of Christ's death. Paul says we carry a sense of Christ's death in us, so that life can shine through us.
So, in the end, while there may be no good answers to the "why" questions, there may be some powerful answers to the "how" questions.
I believe I can say with great confidence that Paul describes how Kathleen Baskin-Ball lived. I believe he also describes how she died.
And perhaps the great sermon she was trying to teach us over these past ten days is that --to the level and to the extent God individually calls us(and everyone's call is different)-- we all ought to likewise live and die.
"In life, in death, in life beyond death, God is with us....we are not alone....thanks be to God!"
Or, as Kathleen would say, "Glory Be!"
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Saturday 22 November 2008
A Sadness Beyond Words
Posted on 22:07 by Unknown
Many of you will have already heard the news posted below from Bill Ball, about Kathleen. But I got two Facebook messages today from folks who were "out of the loop," and so I thought I'd post this to my blog.
Anybody who is a Methodist in North Texas will be heartbroken by this news. For those of us who love Kathleen and Bill like family, it's beyond words. I hope some of the old Pursuits Class friends will also perhaps see this, and I invite you to support Bill and Skyler in this time too.
More to say in a few days. But Bill's email is below the jump...and there's not much more to say now...
Rev. Kathleen Baskin-Ball Update
Anybody who is a Methodist in North Texas will be heartbroken by this news. For those of us who love Kathleen and Bill like family, it's beyond words. I hope some of the old Pursuits Class friends will also perhaps see this, and I invite you to support Bill and Skyler in this time too.
More to say in a few days. But Bill's email is below the jump...and there's not much more to say now...
Rev. Kathleen Baskin-Ball Update
Kathleen had a PET Scan on Wednesday morning. They found that the cancer remained fairly small in her liver. However, the scan found some cancer in her brain near her cerebellum. An MRI on Wednesday evening, confirmed the cancer near the cerebellum and noted three other locations in the brain where there are very small areas of cancer. Kathleen has decided to not have any form of brain surgery or radiation treatment for the cancer in her brain. Those efforts would likely cause much more suffering than healing. She will begin receiving hospice care at home.
We are all very sad. We want to make the most of the time that she has left. Kathleen has fought this cancer with great might. She has only missed two Sundays when she was scheduled to preach over the past two years. She preached last Sunday despite many physical challenges. Many times, she has miraculously found the strength to keep moving forward in her ministry at Suncreek and in leadership positions beyond the local church. She is grateful to all of those who have permitted her to continue to be so active in ministry.
She has now reached a point where her body needs rest. Her spirit remains strong. She wants to spend what time remains saying goodbye.
She is trying to balance her need for rest with her need to remain very connected with others. The plan for now is to setup times each day when persons can stop by to visit.
Early in Kathleen’s illness, a group from Suncreek hung symbols of love and hope on the tree in our front yard. We loved this. We welcome anyone do so now.
Kathleen wants to express her deep gratitude to all of those who keep offering her their prayers, love, and support. She wants you to know that she loves you.
Bill D. Ball, Jr
Saturday 15 November 2008
A College Football Playoff
Posted on 22:04 by Unknown
Since it appears that this year my team is the one that gets screwed by the BCS, I am drawn back the grail-like search for a college football playoff.
For the record, I am one of those twisted people who has actually made peace with the BCS. I have actually come to enjoy the regular season, believing that, in a strange way, it functions as a "March Madness" that lasts from September to December. If you look at it that way, you can get a lot of enjoyment of college football, even with the flaws. I can say that, even with the news today that OU jumps over Texas to play Mizzou. (Despite the unbelievable truth that Texas beat Oklahoma AND Mizzou!!!)
Be that as it may, it IS a deeply flawed system. So, since I'm assuming that over the next few months, the whole world's going to throw out all sorts of plans, I figure why not jump in with my HSO?
As I look at it, there's a way to create a college football playoff system and only add ONE game to the current schedule for the eventual winner.
Sound interesting?
It would take a lot of "outside the box" thinking, but if I have your attention keep reading...
First, five assumptions to get to my proposal:
1) A playoff system must start with a 32-team bracket.
Only then will it create the kind of buzz/excitement that March Madness enjoys, and avoid the controversies of the current BSC system. Barack Obama --and many others apparently-- suggest an eight team playoff. With all due respect, that won't solve a thing.
Teams 9 through 25 will bitch about how they were left out or ripped off by poor ranking. Additionally, an eight team bracket will not build nearly the excitement of a 32-team bracket, or even as much as the current bowl system. No, a playoff system would have to include a 32-team bracket to avoid the charges of being too biases toward major teams/conferences.
Also, an added bonus: at 32 teams, almost every year would include some of the "Cinderella Teams" that make March Madness so cool.
The teams could be picked using the current BCS ranking system, expanded out to include the top thirty two. Or any other ranking system, really. To my mind, the system of ranking wouldn't matter nearly as much, since even if it's CLOSE to accurate, the playoff itself would help weed out any errors.
Number one would be seeded to play number 32, avoiding the charge that the seeding was unfair (If the top ten can't beat the bottom ten, they probably didn't deserve their seed, whether it was one, two or five...)
2) The Bowl System, as is, will have to go.
But the cities that host bowls could be incorporated into a playoff system. I've never understood why this wouldn't be a HUGE "win-win." If the playoff is as extensive as suggested here, there'd be plenty of games for even the most obscure bowl/city to be included in a playoff system. And, frankly, the less lucrative bowl cities would probably end up being the first tier playoff cities. It seems to me that it could end up a wash, or even a net PLUS for the more obscure bowls.
3) The Conference Championship Games would also have to go.
I'm not sure anybody believes they have any real purpose these days anyway. The competition is so UNeven from conference to conference that there's just no way to justify keeping them around. To my mind, this might be the most difficult hurdle of all the assumptions, but for the life of me I don't understand why.
4) The first two meaningless non-conference games would be repurposed to be part of the system.
Instead of playing these early Fall games, they would be added to the end of the season as two rounds of a playoff system. Yes, that would mean that not every team would get to play one of these games, but the payouts for the teams that DO make it would be HUGE. And wouldn't the college presidents, who are allegedly "so worried" about student athletes, find it hard to argue against a system that makes the season shorter for most teams?!
5) The "Rivalry Week" games would have to move a week earlier.
Actually, if everybody bitched, the truth is my proposal could be adjusted to avoid this. The reason would be to open up Thanksgiving Week for the first-round of the playoff system....capturing the holidays for this in a way that would be very cool. But, as I said, it if it can be worked out to move these games, over time the first round of a playoff starting Thanksgiving Weekend would be an amazing tradition that everyone would quickly embrace.
Having said all this, here's the plan:
Eric's Proposed NCAA Division 1A Playoff Schedule:
ROUND ONE:
When: Thanksgiving Weekend through the First Week of December (when Conference Championships are now played).
Who: 32 Teams.
The sixteen sites for these games would be pulled from bowls that currently take place in mid December and from Conference Championship sites. There are a lot of pretty meaningless bowls with dismal payouts out there. They would probably kill to be in the first round of an official playoff system.
Think of the excitement generated with a playoff that starts Thanksgiving Weekend with, say, eight games. Eight more could be played the following weekend, when the Conference Championships are currently played.
TWO TO THREE WEEK BREAK FOR FINAL EXAMS:
I keep hearing that final exams are a big concern for college presidents. OK, then... take several weeks off. You can do it and still make this schedule work!!!
ROUND TWO:
When: The week before Christmas.
Who: 16 Teams.
The eight sites for these games would be culled from the late December, Christmas Day, and week-after-Christmas bowl games. Again, think of the excitement of these games, as the holidays approach. Yes, a lot of bowls would have to change their current date. But take a look at how many there are right now....more than enough to fill an eight-site round of playoffs.
ROUND THREE
When: New Years Day.
Who: 8 Teams.
These four games would rotate among the current BCS bowl sites. Four games on New Year's Day, to satisfy everyone's endless thirst for college football on this day. It's clean. It's doable...and these games would be HUGE in terms of revenue.
ROUND FOUR: Semifinals
When: The Saturday before the Super Bowl.
Who: 4 Teams.
As everyone knows, the NFL takes that week off, in an attempt to build excitement. So, what if the college football "semi-finals" stepped in to fill the void? This would also allow the final four teams several weeks off for rest.
The sites would be determined by a rotation of current BCS bowl sites.
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: The Saturday of Super Bowl Sunday
Why not? What a cool weekend that would be.
The site determined by a rotation of current BCS bowl sites.
--------------------------------
That's it.
Note that if you assume the current champion currently plays two non-conference games, a conference championship, and a BCS bowl, this playoff system only means ONE additional game for the winner!!!!
It's also 31 total football games...more than enough to fold-in every bowl worth bringing along, assuming they would move to fit the schedule...and why wouldn't they?!
To get there, it DOES mean thinking very differently about the bowl system, about non-conference games, and conference championship games. It shifts the season later into January. But is that all bad when Pro Football is still going on? And do we REALLY care about those two early non-conference games? Get rid of them! Move them into the playoff system, and think of how much bigger they'd become!!
If we have to play football in early September, allow teams to schedule semi-official scrimmages with smaller schools. Or, if extending the season that late is a bad idea, then fine, don't take so many weeks off, and the season can still be done the second week of January. There are still enough spare weeks in there to take several weeks off for exams.
Can it be done?
Of course it can be done. It's college sports, for crying out loud, not a United Nations treaty. To do it RIGHT would involve shaking up a lot of the current assumptions. But the payoff --literally, the financial payoff-- could be HUGE.
It can be done. No question.
For the record, I am one of those twisted people who has actually made peace with the BCS. I have actually come to enjoy the regular season, believing that, in a strange way, it functions as a "March Madness" that lasts from September to December. If you look at it that way, you can get a lot of enjoyment of college football, even with the flaws. I can say that, even with the news today that OU jumps over Texas to play Mizzou. (Despite the unbelievable truth that Texas beat Oklahoma AND Mizzou!!!)
Be that as it may, it IS a deeply flawed system. So, since I'm assuming that over the next few months, the whole world's going to throw out all sorts of plans, I figure why not jump in with my HSO?
As I look at it, there's a way to create a college football playoff system and only add ONE game to the current schedule for the eventual winner.
Sound interesting?
It would take a lot of "outside the box" thinking, but if I have your attention keep reading...
First, five assumptions to get to my proposal:
1) A playoff system must start with a 32-team bracket.
Only then will it create the kind of buzz/excitement that March Madness enjoys, and avoid the controversies of the current BSC system. Barack Obama --and many others apparently-- suggest an eight team playoff. With all due respect, that won't solve a thing.
Teams 9 through 25 will bitch about how they were left out or ripped off by poor ranking. Additionally, an eight team bracket will not build nearly the excitement of a 32-team bracket, or even as much as the current bowl system. No, a playoff system would have to include a 32-team bracket to avoid the charges of being too biases toward major teams/conferences.
Also, an added bonus: at 32 teams, almost every year would include some of the "Cinderella Teams" that make March Madness so cool.
The teams could be picked using the current BCS ranking system, expanded out to include the top thirty two. Or any other ranking system, really. To my mind, the system of ranking wouldn't matter nearly as much, since even if it's CLOSE to accurate, the playoff itself would help weed out any errors.
Number one would be seeded to play number 32, avoiding the charge that the seeding was unfair (If the top ten can't beat the bottom ten, they probably didn't deserve their seed, whether it was one, two or five...)
2) The Bowl System, as is, will have to go.
But the cities that host bowls could be incorporated into a playoff system. I've never understood why this wouldn't be a HUGE "win-win." If the playoff is as extensive as suggested here, there'd be plenty of games for even the most obscure bowl/city to be included in a playoff system. And, frankly, the less lucrative bowl cities would probably end up being the first tier playoff cities. It seems to me that it could end up a wash, or even a net PLUS for the more obscure bowls.
3) The Conference Championship Games would also have to go.
I'm not sure anybody believes they have any real purpose these days anyway. The competition is so UNeven from conference to conference that there's just no way to justify keeping them around. To my mind, this might be the most difficult hurdle of all the assumptions, but for the life of me I don't understand why.
4) The first two meaningless non-conference games would be repurposed to be part of the system.
Instead of playing these early Fall games, they would be added to the end of the season as two rounds of a playoff system. Yes, that would mean that not every team would get to play one of these games, but the payouts for the teams that DO make it would be HUGE. And wouldn't the college presidents, who are allegedly "so worried" about student athletes, find it hard to argue against a system that makes the season shorter for most teams?!
5) The "Rivalry Week" games would have to move a week earlier.
Actually, if everybody bitched, the truth is my proposal could be adjusted to avoid this. The reason would be to open up Thanksgiving Week for the first-round of the playoff system....capturing the holidays for this in a way that would be very cool. But, as I said, it if it can be worked out to move these games, over time the first round of a playoff starting Thanksgiving Weekend would be an amazing tradition that everyone would quickly embrace.
Having said all this, here's the plan:
Eric's Proposed NCAA Division 1A Playoff Schedule:
ROUND ONE:
When: Thanksgiving Weekend through the First Week of December (when Conference Championships are now played).
Who: 32 Teams.
The sixteen sites for these games would be pulled from bowls that currently take place in mid December and from Conference Championship sites. There are a lot of pretty meaningless bowls with dismal payouts out there. They would probably kill to be in the first round of an official playoff system.
Think of the excitement generated with a playoff that starts Thanksgiving Weekend with, say, eight games. Eight more could be played the following weekend, when the Conference Championships are currently played.
TWO TO THREE WEEK BREAK FOR FINAL EXAMS:
I keep hearing that final exams are a big concern for college presidents. OK, then... take several weeks off. You can do it and still make this schedule work!!!
ROUND TWO:
When: The week before Christmas.
Who: 16 Teams.
The eight sites for these games would be culled from the late December, Christmas Day, and week-after-Christmas bowl games. Again, think of the excitement of these games, as the holidays approach. Yes, a lot of bowls would have to change their current date. But take a look at how many there are right now....more than enough to fill an eight-site round of playoffs.
ROUND THREE
When: New Years Day.
Who: 8 Teams.
These four games would rotate among the current BCS bowl sites. Four games on New Year's Day, to satisfy everyone's endless thirst for college football on this day. It's clean. It's doable...and these games would be HUGE in terms of revenue.
ROUND FOUR: Semifinals
When: The Saturday before the Super Bowl.
Who: 4 Teams.
As everyone knows, the NFL takes that week off, in an attempt to build excitement. So, what if the college football "semi-finals" stepped in to fill the void? This would also allow the final four teams several weeks off for rest.
The sites would be determined by a rotation of current BCS bowl sites.
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: The Saturday of Super Bowl Sunday
Why not? What a cool weekend that would be.
The site determined by a rotation of current BCS bowl sites.
--------------------------------
That's it.
Note that if you assume the current champion currently plays two non-conference games, a conference championship, and a BCS bowl, this playoff system only means ONE additional game for the winner!!!!
It's also 31 total football games...more than enough to fold-in every bowl worth bringing along, assuming they would move to fit the schedule...and why wouldn't they?!
To get there, it DOES mean thinking very differently about the bowl system, about non-conference games, and conference championship games. It shifts the season later into January. But is that all bad when Pro Football is still going on? And do we REALLY care about those two early non-conference games? Get rid of them! Move them into the playoff system, and think of how much bigger they'd become!!
If we have to play football in early September, allow teams to schedule semi-official scrimmages with smaller schools. Or, if extending the season that late is a bad idea, then fine, don't take so many weeks off, and the season can still be done the second week of January. There are still enough spare weeks in there to take several weeks off for exams.
Can it be done?
Of course it can be done. It's college sports, for crying out loud, not a United Nations treaty. To do it RIGHT would involve shaking up a lot of the current assumptions. But the payoff --literally, the financial payoff-- could be HUGE.
It can be done. No question.
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