The Dallas Cowboys Are Losers

"Sitting back trying to recapture,
a little of the glory of,
well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister
but boring stories of…glory days"
-- Bruce Springsteen

The NFL season starts tonight, which means tonight is the first night I'll actually pay attention. Local Dallas media still act as if Cowboys training camp is some big deal.

But, why?

Why should we pay attention to the Cowboys' pre-season and training camp?
It doesn't count for anything.
And the truth is this: the Dallas Cowboys are losers.

I don't mean that pejoratively. I mean it statistically.

Many of us grew up with the Cowboys of the 70s. On my elementary school playground, we debated Morton vs. Staubach. We knew the players. They went to the playoffs every year, or so it seemed. They won two Super Bowls.

They did it again in the 1990s. "The Triplets." Three more Super Bowls. A whole new generation of kids who grew up with the Dallas Cowboys as "winners."

 But like the Springsteen song, that's just "glory days" now. The boring tales of another generation.

What about now?

Let me offer you a statistic that blew my mind when I realized it…

My daughter Maria is just about to be sixteen. (In a few weeks…)

During her lifetime, the Dallas Cowboys have won one playoff game.
They've only played seven during those sixteen years of her lifetime.

For comparison's sake, in the sixteen years prior to her birth, the Cowboys played 25 playoff games, and won three Super Bowls.

My point is this: If you are a sixteen-year-old girl or boy --or any kid in the middle of your high school years here in the Metroplex-- you have never known a "winning" Dallas Cowboys team.

You have seen the Texas Rangers go to two World Series' and many playoff games.
You have watched Dirk and the Dallas Mavericks sing "We Are the Champions."
Heck, you've even seen the Dallas Stars go to 25 playoff games and win a Stanley Cup.

The only local major sport franchise to not play in their sport's championship event during your lifetime is the Dallas Cowboys.

This is what I mean when I say "The Dallas Cowboys are losers."

Again, it's not a value-judgment. It's factual.

So, I no longer pay attention to the preseason and training camp because the Rangers are always in the midst of a run for the Division title. There's too much to hold my attention there.

That's waaay more interesting than hearing about some unproven rookies, the most recent player arrest, the new stadium, or anything else the Jones family is doing.

Honestly? I really don't pay much attention to the regular season either. I can't remember the last time I watched an entire Cowboys game.

Truthfully? I'm not entirely certain Maria ever has.

I remember watching religiously as a kid. As a kid, I recall hanging on ever play.

Now? The terrible truth is I'm well beyond caring. I don't hate the Cowboys. I can't even despise Jerry Jones. He is what he is. They are who they are. And it's pretty clear that they are statistical losers.

So why get upset about it? Why revel in the "glory days" when there are other great teams to cheer for in our city? I can't rail against him or against them. I can't "hate" Tony Romo. He's actually a pretty decent NFL quarterback with a terrible offensive line.

But, year after year, the Jones family goes for sexy position players, and neglects basic things like an offensive line. And so, year after year, the Cowboys end up losers.

"It is what it is." Why let it upset you?

But! What I find interesting is this…

When I see the kids at my daughter's school?
They're wearing Rangers jerseys.
Red ones.
All over the place.
Boys and girls.

The kids I see? They wear Darvish and Dirk way more than Dez.

For example, when the Rangers signed Yu, my daughter wanted to run out and get a Darvish jersey. It was to go along with the Kinsler jersey she already had at home. She's crazy about Kinsler.

All through summer, she looks at updates on the game scores on her phone, and will say things like "Dad, we're up 2-1 in the eighth…"

She has never, ever updated me on a Dallas Cowboys score. As I said, I'm not sure she's ever watched a complete Dallas Cowboys game.

I'm not sure, beyond Tony Romo, that she could name another Cowboy who might even have his name on a jersey. I know she's never considered wearing one.

My point is that I have not failed as a parent. What's happening is a very predictable shift away from the Cowboys among kids my daughter's age. They will grow up remembering Dirk, Jet, Kinsler and Elvis. The average high school kid today has no idea who Miles Austin is.

It seems to me, if I were the Jones family, this would terrify me. I mean, sure, their franchise is still the most valuable out there. Sure, they are selling a lot of a jerseys to...I don't know…somebody…I'm not sure who.

But over these last sixteen years, they've lost the hearts and minds of an entire new generation.

So I won't be watching because it's just all so boring and predictable.

Now, as I said at the start, I will keep up with the NFL. Because Fantasy Football has saved my interest in the NFL, and I watch the overall picture very carefully. Tonight is opening night, and I've got a tight end to monitor!

And, I will keep up with college football every Saturday, because it's waaay more awesome than the pros.

But, I've got better things to do with my Sunday afternoon than watch an entire Dallas Cowboys game.

And those kids won't be watching either, because they never have. And I am starting to wonder whether they ever will.

If I were the Jones family, I would think this final point would scare me. Way more than a thousand angry middle-aged guys like me ranting about the "Glory Days."

But what do I know?

Read More

The Sisyphus of White Rock Lake

The Sisyphus of White Rock Lake

Here's a picture from today's bike ride around White Rock Lake. For those unfamiliar, it's up on the dam, looking south toward the spillway. There's about a 60 foot grassy drop off to the right, and you can see a bit of the lake to the left.

I saw this turtle on my first lap. (He hid when I pulled out the camera...)

 

I've named him "The Sisyphus of White Rock Lake." I've seen this same thing three or four times on rides this year. Best I can tell, these little guys climb all the way up the grassy side of the dam. In fact, today I saw this guy the first time around. He was gone by my second lap. But later on my third, an entirely different turtle was trying the same thing about 200 feet South towards the spillway.

 

 What must they think after climbing all that way, yearning for still green waters, only to meet two impenetrable feet of concrete?

Do they feel defeated?

Is this what it was like when Manifest Destiny finally stared out over the big blue Pacific?

And am I any better, riding loop after loop around this same concrete trail? I rode five loops today (50 miles). I've ridden dozens this year.

 

Am I moving forward?

Just in circles?

And how could I ever tell, really?

Maybe life is both. 

Maybe it's moving in circles --trekking up and down that hill time and time again--but also, sometimes imperceptibly, moving forward. 

Lord knows, my life, has taught me this.

You can wake to the same locale every day for decades, as I have now, and it will never be exactly the same.

 

The lake has taught me that too.

 Take today, for example. When I started out about noon, it was overcast and (I kid you not) cool. In the 70s, which is unheard of this time of year. The lake itself by was pure green glass. No wind at all. No lapping waves anywhere around the shore for the first three laps. Wish I'd stopped to take a shot of that. (Here's an awesome sunset from last year instead...)

 

But during my third trip around, the clouds burned off, and suddenly it was hot. The wind picked up. First from the East. Then the West. It was like the wind was surprised by this sudden entrance of the Sun and couldn't make up its mind. 

 

The shadows are different too, on a mid-day ride, than they are during my usual sunset rides. The shady places you know you can count on near sunset are totally useless at noon, and you have to re-learn where to stop so you can cool down.

 

All this is to say, the lake teaches me what life teaches me: Nothing is ever the same, even when looks like it is.

 

The chemists and physicists will tell you, even the rocks slowly sag and change shape...big rocks that look like they haven't moved in centuries, are always changing if we'll stop to notice.

Sisyphus was cursed, but I like to imagine he had read Heraclitus.

 

Like the turtle up the hill, he was cursed to roll that dam stone up the hill time after time.

 

But surely it was never the same hill, yes?

I mean, it couldn't have been.

 

I've got a fantasy that, cursed as he was, now and then he came to see even beauty in what others saw as mind-numbing repetition.

Wonder what these turtles read and how many times they've made this climb?

Wonder how many times we will?

 

Wonder if we'll notice that it's always a new hill, a new lap, a new life? 

What grace it is when we're given those eyes!

  (As always, if you like this post, then  Tweet it, "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...) 

Read More

Enough Culpability for Us All

As she often does my colleague, Rev. Christy Thomas has a blog well worth your time today.


Her title is "Incarnational Theology and Corrective Rape."
As you might surmise, it's a hard read. Like Christy, I invite you to read the New York Times article that inspired her.

It talks about the horrific practice in some African countries of "corrective rape," a sick attempt to "cure" women of being lesbian.

What Christy helpfully does is to connect the dots to the theology that supports such things.

Her most powerful section is this:

"...Many sexual practices are highly destructive to the mind, body and soul. But this focus on homosexuality as the primary sexual  ”deviance” that must be addressed in society today has missed the mark...
In light of this, I want to know how many of the African clergy in The United Methodist Church have given either implicit or complicit support to the “corrective rape” movement? Who are those in our African connection that speak out against this societal horror? Who are those whose silence gives approval?"

Christy recalls being at the same General Conference I was --Fort Worth in 2008-- and of hearing African delegates say horrific things on the floor of the plenary session.

Specifically, in front of the thousands of gathered World Wide United Methodists, I heard an African delegate describe homosexuality as "of the devil."

So, I go one step further. I don't believe the focus should simply be on the African context. Yes, there are some deeply disturbing cultural practices there, being supported by some of the theology of the some of the Christian church there.

But the questions, and the culpability, do not stop at the shores of Africa.

All United Methodists, world-wide, must look at our own culpability.

Practices like "corrective rape,"  supported by some within the Christian Church, and phrases like "homosexuality is of the devil" are not the opposites of our stated theology. The horrific point  we cannot turn away from is that the phrase "incompatible with Christian teaching" is not different from the theology that supports "corrective rape," but along the same spectrum; albeit in a watered-down form.


I am most certain that my saying this will anger some. So be it.

I will only remind you that it's a point I've made before, when I preached on the outbreak of LGBT bullying a few years back. I won't go back over all the points I made then, but will refer to this blog I wrote at the time.

Here's a bit of what I said then:

"So, the clear call is to repentance -- to renounce and reject theology, spirituality, and practice that excludes, marginalizes and otherwise harms LGBT persons from understanding or hearing God's full and unconditional love for them.
"But beyond this call for repentance to the Church of Jesus Christ, I want to address a final word to clergy and lay folk who may be in churches in the so-called "big fat middle." (I call many of these churches "don't ask, don't tell" churches...) They are churches who never say anything, positive or negative, about gay or lesbian people, in part because they live in constant fear of controversy. They are nice people. They are good people.
But I am here to say that this silence has become culpability. This silence, is now, itself, sin. Because of the existence of great swaths of anti-gay theology in "Christian" churches, it becomes even more imperative for those in the middle to speak out. So, if you are a clergy who has always been silently supportive, now is the time to publicly say something. If you are a congregation that is mostly "don't ask, don't tell," now is the time to say something.
Study after study shows that one of the words young people under 40 mostly closely associate with the Church (capital C) of Jesus Christ is the word "homophobic." That should tell us something. The reason to speak now is because if you do not, many will assume that you agree with an anti-gay theology. Future bullies will hear and believe that. Future LGBT teens will hear and believe that. Your silence could, quite literally, help kill people"

Please read that last paragraph again.

I said this in 2010, and I still believe it today. And if you change the setting to Africa, and change the word "bullies" to "corrective rapists," and you will find it's the same issue in different contexts. The questions and the culpability do not stop at the shores of Africa. There is enough for us all.

So, I thank Christy for providing an international context for just how dangerous this theology can sometimes become.

She's absolutely right: This anti-gay theology is really anti-incarnational.
Which to me means, of course, it's anti-Christian.

  (As always, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...) 

Read More

More Evidence that America's "Mission Field" Future is Progressive

Several online friends sent this essay to me this week:

Religious Progressives Predicted To Outnumber Conservatives, Survey Finds 

 It's well worth the read, and cites data that comes from the Public Religion Research Institute. A few standout quotes:

"With each generation, the popularity of religious conservatism has declined. Forty-seven percent of the Silent Generation (ages 66 to 88) are religious conservatives, compared with 34 percent of Baby Boomers, 23 percent of Gen Xers and 17 percent of Millennials." 

But, it's a more complex picture than simply claiming a decline of religious conservatism, or a dramatic rise in religious progressives:

"What we see is not a one-to-one replacement of religious conservatives with religious progressives," Jones explained. Instead, the ranks of religious conservatives over time are declining, while religious progressives maintain their share of the population. "But there's also this growing number of non-religious Americans." If the trends continue, religious progressives eventually will outnumber religious conservatives."

I am not at all surprised by these results and this data. It absolutely mirrors things I have been saying for quite some time.

Let me remind you of several blogs I have written on these subjects. First, just after the presidential election, I reminded everyone that that data shows quite clearly that the United States is a "center/left," not "center/right" nation.

Find it here: "What the Presidential Election Should Teach The United Methodist Church"

Again, it's not to say that the US is a socialist paradise. But the compelling evidence is that the nation continues to move to the left, while our denomination continues to move to the right.

IMHO, this has profound implications for the future of the UMC in America. Unless we stop drifting to the right,  start fully embracing our own progressive wing, we'll continue to be more and more out-of-step with Americans, and unable to reach the"mission field" of the future.

The data in this new survey seems to confirm this view.

I followed that up more recently with this essay, making the same argument with respect to the specific issue of Same-Sex Marriage: "What Do the Same Sex Marriage Rulings Teach us About the American UMC?"

This essay shows very clearly how Same Sex Marriage will soon be the law of the land in almost every state. Estimates are that majorities are likely to approve of Same Sex Marriage in forty four states, as early as 2020. Again, this at the very same time the United Methodist Church has moved to a more conservative polity regarding these ceremonies.

My argument about the future of the American UMC is that, if we're going to have one (a future, and a Church) we're going to have to stop drawing such a hardline on social issues like homosexuality.

People understand there is little Biblical evidence for the stridency seen in many churches. Many Christians, more every day, are having a conversion of the heart on these issues.
Three groups, not two, should be of interest to the American UMC:
Conservative Christians
Progressive Christians
"The Nones"

For some years now, I've been talking about "The Nones" in blogs and in sermons at Northaven.

My own sense is that many of "The Nones" have left Christianity, altogether. They have left what they see as a too political, too conservative, form of Christianity, and have replaced it, broadly, with the "spiritual, but not religious" movement, or with other religions not so associated with conservative politics.

Here's a part of the article that seems to agree with this view:

""Increasingly, people identify and link organized religion with anti-gay attitudes, sexual conservatism, a whole range of those kinds of social cultural values," Fischer said."

Yep.

The United Methodist Church spends a lot of time wringing its hands over membership losses.
We also spend a good bit of time asking ourselves about "the mission field."

But, it's clear that there are clear answers. There are clear ways forward. Time and time again, the evidence that the "mission field," leans to the left.

I had an interesting exchange in the comments section of my blog the other day. A conservative United Methodist told me that his opinion was that if the UMC fully embraced LGBT persons, it would cause an exodus of conservatives to more conservative churches. Further, he suggested that the number of these persons would far exceed the number of progressives who would leave.

Several rebuttals to this...

First, off, Progressives are already leaving. A slow, drip-drip of members each and every year....each and every General Conference. Time and time again, I hear of clergy friends lamenting how their own children have left the UMC. Not, often, for conservative churches, but often for more progressive denominations, or as new members of "The Nones."

So, it's happening to Progressives already....right now.

Secondly, when conservatives leave the UMC, they are ikely to leave for another Christian denomination. When progressives leave, as we've just noted, in many cases leaving the faith altogether!

The point I need to make is: that's not the same kind of leaving.

I think my friend is right and that if the UMC become more progressive, some conservatives would leave.

Frankly, I don't believe it would be as many as is feared, precisely because Methodists have always been wiling to be a "big tent" denomination, and because the overall number of American religious conservatives is in decline now, and will continue to be so.

But! The bigger point not to miss is that the real place for the UMC to find future growth is among the "Nones." And the Nones lean left.

They've been burned by conservative religion, and  are often unaware of progressive options.

Reaching "The Nones," appealing to Progressive Christians, is actually far more difficult and time intensive. They are often extremely thoughtful, they are wary of any kinds of organizations, and they are commitment phobic.

But aren't those the kinds of folks Jesus was trying to reach?

In fact, time and time again, Jesus reminds folks he hasn't come to reach those already INSIDE organized religion, but that he has come to make room for those who are on the outside, without a place to call home.

There's a great "mission field" out there in the United States still. But it leans to the left, and will continue to do so.

There's till time for the United Methodist Church to grasp this.

 

 

Read More

Keep Moving Forward. Don't Look Back.

For ten years, Dennise and I have lived with the memory of one of the most terrifying journeys we ever took. It was a pre-GPS navigation world. It was a pre-digital-photography world too.

But since we have both now, we recreated this journey the other day, such that we now have pictures to tell the story.
So, let's begin…

Ten-years ago, on our ten-year anniversary trip, we stayed at Ojo Caliente. (Which, as an aside, is one of our favorite places on earth…)

One day of that trip, we drove south toward Santa Fe, across and into the mountains.

Were we going to Chimayo?
Perhaps.

Was it the same day we took this trip?
Might have been.

The point is, we no longer remember, and it really doesn't matter. What matters is that it had been a long day, it was getting late, and we found ourselves between Taos and Santa Fe, with the sudden need to back to Ojo quickly.

If you don't know the area, geographically, here's a cheat-sheet map.

When this story begins, I believe we were somewhere near Ranchos De Taos, perhaps fresh from a day in the mountains. The basic problem in getting back to Ojo from there is the Rio Grande Gorge.

It's huge. Really massive. I mean, sure, the Grand Canyon dwarfs it. But that's hardly fair. The Grand Canyon dwarfs everything.

A few pics…

See? It's huge. Here's another map that gives you a sense of the gorge, and the geographic challenge it holds.

So, it's back in the days of paper maps, and the paper map indicates only two clear choices:
a) Head way South toward Santa Fe, loop around the way we'd come that morning, or
b) Head North, go all the way through Taos, and cross at the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, which we'd never done before.

"Option A" was not appealing. We'd been there and done that, and it seemed like a long drive. Again, we were tired and in a hurry.

But the map indicated that "Option B" would also be quite a drive.

Again, remember this is pre-GPS. Today, any decent GPS --like either the one in our Prius and on our iPhone-- will tell you that "Option B" is not that long, really. Turns out you don't have to drive all that way out to Tres Piedras (20-30 miles out of the way) There are state roads, just across the Gorge Bridge, that are quite lovely and make for a short, beautiful trip back to Ojo.

We know that now.

But on that day, ten years ago, it looked like a 30-mile trek out of the way. And, as I can't emphasize enough, for some forgotten reason we were tired and in a hurry.

But hark! Low and behold, the paper maps indicate a "Plan C!" The maps indicate what appears to be a direct path across the gorge on State Hwy 570. (You can see it clearly indicated on this map).

Hard to tell what kind of bridge it would be. But it showed to come out on the other side, near Carson. And that would clearly shave 20-30 miles off any other route.
Sounded like a winner.

So, we set out to find Hwy 570. We got to the turn, headed, past a few houses that were popping up alongside it.

But, eventually the road narrowed down. And then, a strange thing: Boulders in the middle of the road. Big enough to slow you down. Small enough to drive around.

"Huh," we thought. "That's strange. Who puts boulders in the middle of a state highway? Why would you do that?"

Oh well. Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Remember, the road is clearly indicated to be a good one on the map. It seems to snake along the canyon, and in some unclear way come out on the other side.

So, we just drove around the boulders.

I mean, why not?

Turns out, this is why not.

Lucky for us, the boulders meant we weren't going too fast when we came to this point; where the road, quite literally, just falls into the gorge below.

I mean, one second it's a perfectly good road. The next, it's all Roadrunner and Wylie E. Coyote.

We slowly backed away from the edge, turned around and drove out.

Now, you might think this close encounter would convince us to give up the quest for the short cut and head to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge.

But, noooo!

The short-cut hadn't worked. Now, we were later than ever! Time to raise the stakes, and double down.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

So we checked the map again, and found that there might actually be another place, farther down Hwy 68, where Hwy 570 loop back out of the canyon. If true, it was down near the town of Pilar. It showed there a state park there too. Which gave us some confidence. I mean, if there's a state park and all, how bad can the road be?

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

We headed down there, and turned in. We found that the road was actually quite lovely. It gently slopes down the eastern side of the gorge, and within a few hundred yards, you're looking at this….

It's just an incredibly beautiful scene down there, in the bottom of the gorge, tracking along the path of the river. Reminded me very much of the Big Thompson Canyon in Colorado.

But, the road just keeps going and going. It's a long, snaking road, and eventually we wondered, "Is this ever going anywhere?"

I mean, with each passing minute the Sun's getting lower. If this doesn't work, we're screwed time-wise.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Eventually, you get to this bridge and river crossing.

So, by now, we're even farther behind. We've snaked along this river for about ten miles. And this bridge clearly leads somewhere.
But, to where?

It seems to go up the other side of the gorge.
But, is this the actual crossing and road we've been looking for?

What if it's not? What if it just...ends up there, somewhere?

Remember...we've just encountered what we thought was the real road. And it got all "Thelma and Louise" on us.
Not good.

What if this road does the same?
What if we start up the other side, and it drops off into nothing on the side of the canyon?

Well, we think, the road down into the gorge had been pretty gentle…
And, it was now even later than it was when we started, or when we got into the canyon…

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Just beyond the bridge, the road turns to gravel and starts up the side. Gentle at first. But almost immediately, there's a hairpin turn. And within a a few hundred years, this suddenly seemed like a horrible mistake. This pictures aren't gonna do it justice, but here's it is.

Like I said, the pics don't do justice to either just how steep this is, how sharp the hairpin turns are, or how narrow the road seemed back then. (I swear they've widened it since then…)

It didn't feel wide enough to turn around safely and go back. So, about a quarter of the way up, we decided we've got to keep going. We can't turn around now…literally we can't turn around now….even if we don't know where this is going.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

When Dennise and I get into full "freak out" mode, it's usually accompanied by stone silence on her part and nervous chatter on mine.

She really doesn't like heights anyway. (Although our trips to Colorado after this have helped…). So, being on the side of a gorge was not, shall we say, fun.

I kept trying to take her mind off it by focusing on the positive.

"Look at how beautiful that view is, honey!"
And, it was. See?

But this never works. It usually gets me a few words I cannot repeat here, and the line: "Keep your eyes on the road!"

Higher and higher the road goes. Where the hell is it going? Will it drop off into nothing at any moment? Will our friends and loved ones hear the story of our tiny rent car splotch on the canyon floor?

The mind does start to race.

Dennise says more things that I will not repeat here. I move from my usual space-filling-chatter, and join her sheer silence. That's when you know it's really bad.
Neither of us have the feeling that this is gonna end well.

Then, past one more switchback turn, and a climb back up the side, there's a slight turn to the right, and suddenly the car pushes over a ridge, and you see this:

Behind you, sheer terror and plunging depth.
In front, flat as far as the eye can see.

We looked at each other and just started laughing uncontrollably.

I said, "I have no idea where this road is going, but we're going THAT way…"

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Turns out, it was in fact the long-sought Hwy 570 on the other side of the gorge. We'd made it. It was right where we thought it would be. It was just sheer terror getting there.

A few minutes more, and we were back at Ojo; spending, I am sure, more time in the pools to get the knots out of our shoulder muscles.

So, like I said, this past Wednesday our plans for the day fell through, and we found ourselves retracing the steps of this journey.

Only this time, we started at the top. Knowing that we were in our own car, that we hadn't died the first time, and that we were eager to make sure this was the place of the original story, we took a trip back down into the canyon.

So, I suppose that in both telling you this story, and retracing our steps last Wednesday, we've violated the "Keep moving forward. Don't look back" moral of this story.

But after twenty years of marriage, looking back is helpful sometimes. Of course, as Lot's wife reminds us, you can't live there every day.  But, now and then, it can be good to retrace your steps in reverse, marvel at where you've been, and see what you can learn from it.

There are, of course, all sorts of possible morals from this story:

Hindsight is 20/20.
Don't be afraid of the long road home.
Take your time, because you'll forget why you were in such a hurry anyway.
Ask directions.
Whatever you do, don't look down.
Wait to take your trip until after GPS has been invented.

But I like the metaphor that came to me today, as I've been writing this out:

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

In twenty years of counseling couples, marrying them --watching some "make it" and some not-- I'm left with a feeling something like this: If you knew where the road was going to go, you might not ever take it in the first place.

Yes, it's great to have people tell you how great marriage is, "the higher you climb."
Sure, that helps.

But marriage is more like the climb up a canyon road, rather than the standard metaphor of leaping off the cliff. It is a leap. That one time on that first day. But the rest of the days, it's a climb that's sometimes exhilarating, sometimes terrifying, and almost never boring.

A lot of terrible stuff is going to happen in even the best marriage. There are a lot of difficult times. For us, there have been tough times that I'm never gonna share here.

There are switchback roads you fear could send you over the edge at any moment. And all marriages are lived pre-GPS. Even if you start out with a great map, you're never really sure just where the road is going to end up.

A truth of life is that we don't get to both live it and observe if from the long view at the same time. That's just the way life works.

Nor is there likely to be just one canyon road, either. Sometimes, you get to the top of one ridge only to find it levels out for a while, then starts more stomach-churning zig-zags up again.

There are seasons where it feels like one…long…climb, and it's hard to see how any of it is getting "better."

Does this sound overly harsh? Are you worried about me now?

Well, to me? After twenty years in my own marriage, after watching the marriages of many church members, friends, and relatives, it just sounds realistic. Whether any of us admit it or not, it takes a bit of foolishness to start down that marriage road, given just how uncertain life is.

It takes a bit of foolishness to keep moving forward, and not look back.
But maybe that's the only way it works out too.

And now and then if you're lucky, you get to the top of an especially high mesa, and fall into laughter at where you have come.

The Long View

  (As always, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...) 

Read More

Better The Higher You Climb

Some days, you really do feel the past and future come together and touch each other. Today was one of those days for us, as Dennise and me went back to visit "Kasha-Katuwe, aka Tent Rocks,"here in New Mexico.

You may recall that back in May, I blogged about our 20-year anniversary. Even though the actual date was then, our celebration really doesn't end until now, as Dennise and me head back to Taos/Santa Fe. This is where we spent our honeymoon, and where we came back for a ten-year anniversary trip.

Here's a pic from the ten-year trip in 2003:

Our 2003 Trip

As I did with the anniversary blog, it's interesting to look back and see just how much has changed. But, not just in twenty years. In just the ten.

In 2003, Dennise had yet to run for judge. Her election would be a year and a half later. At that moment, almost nobody imagined that a Democrat could be elected judge in Dallas County.

In fact, so outrageous was that idea, that Dennise had lawyers she respected tell her, "Dennise, do you want to be a Democrat or be a Judge?"

She'd say, "I want to be both."

A year-and-a-half later, much to the surprise of many, she was. And now, she's one of the longest serving judges in Dallas County.

In 2003, we hadn't yet broken ground on Northaven's new sanctuary. It was still just an idea. I was deep into weekly meetings (sometimes two hours long) with our building committee. There were plenty of dreams, but we wouldn't break ground for another two years, and wouldn't move in for 18 months after that.

In 2003, Maria was five. She'd hadn't even started kindergarten.
In just a few months, she'll start her sophomore year.

So, lots has changed. Like I said in the other blog, it sorta makes the head spin.
----------------------------------------

Soon after the above picture was taken, I wrote a song about the hike we took that day.

In 2003, we took the hike up to the scenic overlook and, frankly, at least I was a bit out of shape. It's not a terribly strenuous hike, but it took a bit out of me that day.

But, all the way up, folks were so encouraging..

"The view's SO great up there..."
"It's better the higher you climb..."

It didn't take long for this songwriter to jump all over the metaphors in that.

But, the rocks themselves are also metaphors...the way that canyon is being reshaped each and every day. In fact, we say a park ranger today who was pointing out boulders that fell during last week's rains. It's obvious that the place looks much different than it did ten years ago.

So, between the metaphor of the climb, and the metaphor of the changing canyon, I think I came out with a pretty good song.

Hard to believe it was ten years ago.

Anyway, as you can hear, the demo's pretty much done and will be a part of that new CD I keep talking about.


Today's hike was definitely different. We're ten years older. And yet, in many ways, we're in better physical shape today than we were back then. I know I'm quite a bit lighter, and I didn't find myself gasping for air quite as much.

So, I'll close with some words from the song, which really encapsulate what I said at the start: that today was a day when the past and the future come together and touch each other.

In fact, I suppose when I wrote the song back then, these words were really about a day just like today:

Today at the top

"Happy Anniversary, baby,
Let's pause for just a few,
Catch our breath and maybe
Breathe in deep this whole wide view.

A touch of wind and rain,
Reshapes the rocks so firm.
And though we both will change, 
Let's keep the lessons we have learned.

And then, many years from now,
Down around some future bend,
If fate and time allow,
We'll come back to this same trail end,

 

And as our lives unwind, 
And as others join this path,
We can tell 'em what they'll find,
If they can work to make love last.

Cause it gets better the higher you climb..."

Read More

A Tale of Two Women (Why I am Pro-Choice)

Although I blog about a lot of things, I've never written much about abortion or about why I am fundamentally "Pro-Choice." But my friend Rev. Jim Rigby, a minister from Austin, asked yesterday for clergy who are Pro-Choice to sign their name to statement. I was please to stand with many other Texas clergy who did so, and you can read it here.

But given what the legislature has done to restrict safe, legal abortion in Texas, I feel driven to do much more than sign a statement. I'd like to speak plainly about why I am Pro-Choice. I could also give you very specific reasons why I believe this new law is unnecessary new regulation and intrusion into the lives of women, but I will do that another time. (The letter will have to suffice for now...)

I'd like to tell you the stories of the two women who enfleshed for me the reality of what it means to be Pro-Choice. All this happened very early in my ministry, and I can only tell the story now by obscuring the details enough to protect those involved. (Sufficed to say, if you think you know who I'm talking about in these stories, I would bet there's a 100 percent chance you are wrong...)

Early on in my ministry, I had the chance to give counsel to two women, both of whom had become pregnant. I will call them Penny and Gail. I can't tell you how I knew them. It was not through any church I served in my full-time ministry.

Again, the details of this story would make it more interesting to tell, but also give too much away. I can tell you that both were young, single and almost mirror images of each other in terms of education and life. Neither or these women ever met each other, nor did they ever know that they were experiencing similar situations.

Penny was from a small town and had lived there most of her life. She had a boyfriend that she hadn't planned on marrying, but when she found herself pregnant, that's what she ended up doing. Both families surrounded the couple with love, support, and made it clear that they would provide a great deal of moral, emotional and financial support.

Gail was in a much different place. She lived far from her family. The young man who got her pregnant also did not have family nearby. In fact, there wasn't really any real relationship between the two of them. The "relationship" had been an unfortunate "one night stand." It was very clear that if she had the child, she'd be raising it alone, without the significant support of family or him.

Again, there are more details in both cases that I can't share. But that's the outline.

Penny decided to keep her baby, marry her boyfriend, and asked me to do the wedding. Which I happily agreed to do.
Gail decided to have an abortion.

The surreal thing is this: both the wedding and the abortion happened on the same day.

Again, these women never knew each other, and could not possibly have known of the confluence of these two events. In fact, I'm not sure anybody else besides me ever knew.

But on one particular day, early in my ministry, I did a wedding for young, pregnant Penny, on the very same day that Gail had an abortion.

What was clear to me then, and is still absolutely clear to me now, is that both women made the best decision for their lives.

Each of them carried regrets on that day. But each of them had prayed, weighed all the factors involved, and each of them made a good decision. My calling wasn't to make the decision for them, but to walk with them as their looked for where God, and their life, was leading them.

The truth is that to make either choice these women had before them --to carry a child to term and enter into an unplanned marriage, or to have an abortion-- absolutely "closed" certain other doors in their lives. It's impossible for a woman to make these kinds of choices without understanding that in a visceral way.

Each choice cuts off some potential future decisions, just as every life-choice does for each of us on any random day of our lives.

My own experience?

These women took their situation very very seriously. And they made the best choice for them. The surreality for me was that crucial "day of decision" which ended up being the same day.

And that, my friends, is the heart of what it means to be "Pro-Choice."

It does not mean you are "Pro-Abortion." It means you understand that these decisions are gut wrenching, life-changing and that rarely does any woman take them lightly.

The tale of these two women are why I am Pro-Choice. Because, for reasons I cannot share with you, it was so crystal clear to me that each was making a good decision.

And, having told you about them, let me get into some specifics. A few truths about what it means to be Pro-Choice and Christian…

A First Truth: Yes, There Are Pro-Choice Christians
Many Christians, even many clergy, are "Pro-Choice." They fundamentally believe that a woman's right to choose is important, and that abortion should be legal, safe, and available to any woman who wishes access to it.

There are many clergy of all Christian denominations, and all faiths, who affirm a woman's right to choose. The letter I mentioned will show you the names of just a handful. Those names were collected in mere hours yesterday morning.

The United Methodist Church, in our Social Principles, supports the legal option of abortion. The specific sentences about this are here:
"We recognize tragic conflicts of life with life that may justify abortion, and in such cases we support the legal option of abortion under proper medical procedures by certified medical providers...
We call all Christians to a searching and prayerful inquiry into the sorts of conditions that may cause them to consider abortion. We entrust God to provide guidance, wisdom, and discernment to those facing an unintended pregnancy."

The statement is much longer than this, and says much about working to make sure that abortion rates are low as low as possible. You can read the whole thing here.

A Second Truth: Nobody Comes To Their View Without Wobbling Knees
This is why I told you the story of these two women.

If you think that most Pro-Choice or most Pro-Life folks never have a single doubt, when they are by themselves in the dark of their own thoughts, you are wrong. I'm not taking about "activists" speaking at some press conference. I am talking about average people, in the privacy of their own homes/lives.

Some women who choose to carry a baby to term and give it up for adoption are later beset with guilt.
Others are not.

Some women who have safe, legal abortions are later beset with guilt.
Others are not.

Ditto for the men/fathers in both cases too.

The point is: the decisions are gut wrenching no matter what the decisions are. I know and understand this.

A Third Truth: The Bible May Not Be As Pro-Life as You Think.
In what I am about to say, I am not attempting to belittle those who choose to be "Pro-Life." God bless you if that is your view. What I am saying is this: If you believe the Bible categorically, emphatically, and with zero ambiguity, declares that "life begins at conception," you are wrong.

Sorry. That just the plain truth.

The reality is that the Bible says seemingly contradictory things about the beginnings of human life. It does so, primarily, because the Bible is not a science book. It's not, through its words and stories, trying to relay scientific fact to us. Therefore, the Bible doesn't seem to care that it appears to be grossly contradictory on abortion, or on any other subject for that matter.

Yes, there are passages that say "I knit you together in the womb," but these are not said as scientific fact, but as metaphor.

And, there are very clear alternative Biblical views as to when life begins, and when God creates it.

The most impressive is at the very beginning: The creation story of "Adam." Adam is created "out of the dust of the ground." God works like a potter at a potter's wheel and molds the dust into the form a human being. (Again, note how metaphorical these images are…)

But! This mud-figure is not yet alive. It's what happens next that makes the difference:

"God breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man(sic) became a living soul." (Genesis 2:7)

Using stories that are mostly "stories"….poetry…metaphor….this story is trying to answer some very mysterious questions about all of existence:

What makes all living things different from the rocks and the dirt?
The breath of God, moving through a breathing being.

What happens to us once our physical bodies die?
They go back to that dust where they came from. We are from dust, and to dust our bodies return.

Point is: Before God breathes the "breath of life" into Adam, "the man" is simply a lifeless form. He's not a human being. In fact, the story makes it crystal clear that he's a lifeless form.

For the first human being, then, life begins at breath; not at conception.

The thought is repeated in Job: "The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life." (Job 33:4)

And, lest you believe that Adam's story was a one-time event, unlike any other, the thought continues in Ezekiel:
"So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army." (Ezekiel 37:10)

Again, in these last two passages, as in Genesis, the key moment, that dividing line between life and death, is breath.

In the Hebrew and in the Greek, the words for breath, wind, and Spirit are exactly the same word. They're not kinda of similar. They are literally and exactly the same word.

Throughout the Bible, then, there is a strong metaphorical case --a case made from the same kind of Biblical "warrant" used to assert "life begins at conception"-- to say that life begins at the time when breath begins.
According to many places in the Bible, a body, any kind of human body, without breath, is less than a full human being.

Now, am I willing to push this to its extreme and boldly proclaim: "Life begins with birth"?

No. I am not. Because --just as I deeply wish the "life begins at conception" folks could also admit-- I know and understand too much of science to do that. I know there is definitely a time of "viability" that come before the moment of birth. I also know that technology is constantly pushing our view of precisely when that moment is.

My point is that I know, with equal and unshakable certainty, that it is just as wrong to say "life begins at conception" as to say "life begins at birth."

To crow too loudly about the Bible in either direction is a terrible misuse of the Holy Scripture.

But, my original point was this, and I'll end with it again, because it will remain a shocker to some of you:

The Bible in no way definitively, without ambiguity or with scientific certainty, says "life begins at conception."

That is the truth of the Bible, whether you understand that or not.

That leads me immediately to another truth: It's very clear, then, that if a human life does not begin at conception, and that if the Bible is at best inconsistent in what it says about when life begins, abortion cannot be considered "murder."

Or, at least if you believe that it is, you can't in good conscience say it's because "God says so."
You may believe it. That's fine. But it's not clear God does.

A Third Truth: (And a very hard one) Abortion/Miscarriage Happens in Nature
This is hard/awful point to have to make. But given the bold, crowing of some Pro-Life Christians, it must be made.

Taking all moral judgment out what I am about to say, we must admit that miscarriages happen in nature. They are terribly, terribly painful for us human animals, especially the mothers who suffer through them. So, it is terribly difficult for me to even talk about these things, because I understand just how painful the point I am trying to make here is.

We know that miscarriages happen to every animal species on the planet, including some human women. Sometimes, we never end up knowing why they happen. But they do.

Some Christians believe that God literally and intentionally causes and directs all of life's events. (I do not believe this. I am noting that "some" Christians do).

A great many of these Christians would call themselves "Pro-Life," and say that God intends for all babies to have the chance at life. They therefore say that abortion takes a life. In fact, they say, as I did in the last section, that "abortion is murder."

OK. So, let's push this to its extreme. If that's the case, then by their own logic, how do they explain the morality of miscarriages?
Again, this is a hard case to make, but bear with me…

Does God love women who miscarry less?
Is God being especially cruel to them?
Being intentionally cruel to them?

No! Of course not! I could not believe in such a God!

I do not believe that God intentionally causes miscarriages to happen to specific women. Like much else that happens to us medically, I believe biological processes simply are what they are. Things happen for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with the specific "will of God." God does not cruelly force miscarriages on to women.

But! For the staunch Pro-Life, Biblical-literalist how is there any other choice but to say that "God makes and causes some women to miscarry?!!!"

Therefore, taken to its horrid extreme, there is no escaping the idea that God not only believes in abortion, but that God is the spiritual abortion-provider for these women! If you take the Biblical literalist to their own logical extreme (not mine), God --in God's self-- performs abortions.

I do not believe that God is an abortion-provider, any more than I believe that God foreordains every moment of our lives at the moment of our conception. Both of those views violate the idea that God give us free will, which is why I don't believe them. But, I do believe in free will.

And this gets me to my final point…

Free Will Means Choice
Not only does God not foreordain every moment of life (the fundamentalist, literalist Christian view) but God does give us true free will.

And true free will means this: We have choice. We have decision. What we do matters in the world. Incarnationally, it means that literally every choice we make, every time we make it, every decision-point, affects our future destiny.

Taking all thought of abortion out of this next sentence, I emphatically affirm the following:
To be "Pro-Free Will" means to be "Pro-Choice."

It does!

Again, in that last sentence, I am speaking theologically about the nature of ALL human existence and reality. To truly believe in God and to truly affirm the "free will" God gives us, means we fundamentally affirm that God gives us real choice in life. Not "fake" choice, or choice that just seems like real choice. REAL choice.

As it pertains to the abortion debate, it means this: God gives us the power to choose abortion, or to not chose abortion.

And this, my friends is what it means to me to be "Pro-Choice."
You can actually be "Pro-Life," (morally and personally against abortion) and still be "Pro-Choice" (morally and personally for our right to make choices).
These things are not inconsistent, although they are often posited this way in the debate.

God is not the One who foreordains each and every moment of our lives.
The proper way to understand God's "omniscience" is not to say "God knows our specific life-path," but instead to say "God knows all our future possibilities."
God knows and understands the almost infinite possible choices we can make in life at any moment. And, in every moment of life, there are myriads of choices we can make. Frankly, we far too often forget this. We pretend that our choices are made for us, as if everything is planned.

But it's not. The gift of "free will" is a real thing. Not fake or pretend. It's a blessing of God. But, it's also a curse in that it puts hard, moral choices squarely on our shoulders, to live with the consequences, whatever we choose.

The choices we make are, literally, up to us.

Back to Those Two Women
Which gets me, finally, back to the beginning, and those two young women, Penny and Gail.

As I said, I truly believe each of them made the best decision for their lives. The details of their lives help me to understand this in ways I can't share with you.

Can I say, "They made a decision that would be "morally right in all cases?" 
No. I cannot say this.

But neither can anyone else, because that's not how life works.
That's now how the universe works. That's not how God intends for us to live.

For those of us who believe in God, God intends for us to approach our decision-points in prayer, in consultation with family, friends, even clergy perhaps. God intends for us to weigh the "pros/cons" of our decisions.

But since God's omniscience rests not in knowing our "one specific path," but in "all our possible paths," the burden of the free will God has given us means that our specific choices are up to us.
God is present in the choices. God is present in our lives, no matter which roads we choose.

I know that Gail's abortion was not murder. I know that Penny's marriage was blessed by God.  I know that God was most definitely present with both as they made their decisions. And although I have no idea where they are in life today, I am absolutely confident that God has continued to bless them both with grace beyond measure.

Because that's what God always does.

The tale of these two women is why I am "Pro-Choice." They taught me in a powerful way that God is always standing with us in the decision-points of life. They reminded me how God does not foreordain all of life's decisions. God's free will very often leaves the choices to us.

It's a powerful and awesome responsibility.
I'm glad God set up the universe this way.

Aren't you?

  (As always, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...) 

Read More

What Do The Same Sex Marriage Rulings Teach Us about the American UMC?

In the past several days, I've had several talks with folks regarding the twin Supreme Court rulings on same sex marriage, and its implications for the United Methodist Church. The gist has been to lament just how dramatically "out-of-step" the United Methodist Church has become on the issue of same sex marriage, and LGBT issues in general.

The ever-widening chasm between culture and church is something I've seen coming a long time.
I've been warning of it for a long time.



So, now seems a good time to remind you of a blog I wrote just after last Fall's election:

"What The Presidential Election Should Teach the United Methodist Church."

The gist of the blog was to discuss the "social ethos" of the United Methodist Church and contrast it with the clearest data-set for determining the "social ethos" of the nation: Presidential Election popular vote results.

That vote, I would argue, is the single clearest data-set for understanding the ethos of the nation.

The punchline of the blog is something like this:
Since 1992, the data clearly show the United States as a "center-left" nation.
During that same period, the United Methodist Church has moved to the right.

Please note, I am not suggesting that the United States has become a socialistic empire. Far from it! In fact, anybody who suggests this has no idea what socialism really is.
But we are, demonstrably, to the left of center; not to the right of if. And we have been for several decades.(1) 

Many people, inside and outside of the church, still fail to see this truth. Simple demographics suggest this is unlikely to reverse itself in the foreseeable future.

Even if the United Methodist Church had simply stayed in the same place and not become more conservative on LGBT issues (and, please understand, we have not this), the net effect would still be for us to be more out-of-step because of the clear cultural shift in society to the left.

You may wish to say, "Well, OK, but acceptance of same sex marriage won't happen in MY state.
Wrong again. At least, for most of us.

I invite you to remind yourself of this great blog from Nate Silver. Nate wrote this back when these same sex marriage cases were first being argued in front of the Supremes.

Her's the punchline:
By 2016, voters in 32 states will be willing to vote "yes" to accept same sex marriage.
By 2020, voters in 44 states will be willing to vote "yes" to accept same sex marriage. (This includes Texas)

I will say what I often say about Nate Silver: doubt him at your peril. He's rarely wrong about these things.

Why do I make all these point about the "ethos" of the United States and the "ethos" of the UMC? About growing and inevitable support for same sex marriage?

Because, for decades now, the UMC has challenged churches to understand, and respond to, their specific cultural contexts.
Who are the people your church is trying to reach?
Who would miss your church if it was gone?
What makes your church unique?
Who are the people who live in your church's neighborhood?

If these are great questions for each and every local church.
My point is: they are also questions to ask on the macro-level.

And at least part of the answer to them is this:

The mission field of the United States is one that increasingly embraces LGBT persons in their full humanity. The US mission field contains LGBT families, many of whom are eager to be welcomed into, and be supported by, local congregations. Additionally, young persons (gay and straight) expect that their church...like every other aspect of their lives...will fully embrace and welcome LGBT persons.

This is why Adam Hamilton said, with great confidence, that if the UMC did not move on LGBT issues,  we'd lose the next generation of evangelical young people.

Note the nuance of what he said.

He didn't say "mainline/moderate" young people...
He didn't say "ultra-liberal" young people either...
He said we'd lose the EVANGELICAL young people of tomorrow.

Time and time again, I speak with clergy and layfolks who lament the fact that their own children have left the United Methodist Church for other, more LGBT-friendly, denominations. Or, they've just left altogether, and become one of "The Nones."

These adult children were raised in our faith and traditions,  but now in good conscience can no longer associate the denomination of their youth.

We see a similar thing at Northaven, among LGBT people themselves, who now and then come to believe they can no longer connect to a denomination that excludes LGBT persons. Even to a "Reconciling Church" within that denomination.

I have previously estimated these losses to Northaven membership to be roughly 15 percent of the total new members taken in during my pastoral tenure here. And if that's what happens at a "Reconciling Church" --where we make every effort to explain how welcoming we are-- just imagine how high the number is at other churches, where nothing is ever said and people just quietly fade away.

If you believe it's a shame all these young people are leaving the UMC, here's the God's-honest truth about it. Paraphrasing President Reagan: 

"These people have not left The United Methodist Church. The United Methodist Church has left them."

The UMC left them by failing to change with the times, or by literally becoming more restrictive on LGBT issues.

Every human culture is always in a state of change. The idea of "stasis" is a fiction. No human culture ever stays the same. Even the institution we call "traditional marriage" has changed during the span of my lifetime.

Our culture's views on LGBT persons will continue to evolve.
And, in fairness, this is not the only crucial "social ethos" issue we must pay attention. Increasingly, we must also reach out to Hispanics, Immigrants, and other social groups worthy of our attention through the ministry of Jesus. The "Nones" who have left us are a part of this too.

That's the new American mission field.

Am I saying that LGBT persons make-up all of the American mission field? No. Of course not. We're more diverse a nation than that. But LGBT persons are a part of the whole mission field, and failing to advocate for full inclusion is now officially hurting the church everywhere. Not just a few Reconciling Churches, here and there.

We can continue to shriek about how embracing LGBT persons is anti-scriptural...even though many of us know it is not.

We can continue to moan about how changing our polity is "cultural accommodation"....failing to admit that in every generation, we do this...whether it's our embrace of women clergy fifty years ago, or "praise music" during the past decade.

We can continue to appeal to the past tradition of the church, and say "We've never done it that way before."

But if we do, we'll lose this beautiful denomination we all claim to love.

And not because we welcome gay and lesbians.
But because we have not.

1) And, contrary to what you might believe about Congress, the data holds there too. In the recent presidential election, about 2 million more voters voted for a Democrat than for a Republican for Congress. Because of gerrymandered districts, the Republicans hold far more seats than the vote suggests they should. So, even for Congress, during the presidential cycle, the data suggests a center-left nation...neither dramatically conservative nor liberal.

 (As always, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...) 

Read More

La Silencia

Today is The Judge's birthday.
I won't spill the beans on how old she is. That would be foolish on my part.
Btw, if you've considered getting a gift, I would suggest that campaign contributions make a very nice one.
:)

But as you'd imagine, I'm deeply grateful she was born.

I've been meditating on her and on our marriage a lot lately, ever since our 20th Anniversary last month.

When Dennise was a baby, she apparently didn't cry much. That earned her the first of several family nicknames: "La Silencia."

Interestingly, one of the things that first attracted me to her was her silence. Early in our relationship, we found that we could spend long, quiet, periods together and not really have to speak much.
It wasn't emptiness. Or awkwardness.
Just....silence.

As time went on, our relationship deepened and, unsurprisingly, my sense of the silence changed. As we grew closer, I learned the silence was often more complicated. Sometimes, things were going on.

Sometimes, as you might imagine, we had to learn to break sometimes awkward silence. For sure, we've both learned to share more. To speak up. Even the tough stuff.

But times of that peaceful silence remain.




The first year we dated, John Gorka came out with his great song, "Silence."

It's always reminded me of Dennise. And of us.

 So, below are some of the lyrics I've always resonated with, along with a great video of John doing the song. (accompanied by the amazing Michael Manring).

Happy Birthday, Babe...


From "Silence" by John Gorka
"Love came unexpectedly
Late to the bill
An added attraction
The way it goes
The way it stays

And when she is far away
Still I feel her here
Every since she made the day
And the lonely man disappear
Into that silence
Into that silence "

(Buy the song here)

Read More

Bending a Little Faster Today

"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."
-- Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

I don't know. Today, it sure feels like that arc is picking up a little steam.

My first thoughts on reading the Supreme Court decisions had to do with our families here at Northaven Church.

When the Supreme Court took up the Prop 8 case, I listened to the oral arguments. I was especially moved by the comments by Justice Anthony Kennedy (who authored today's Prop 8 opinion)

“There are some 40,000 children in California” with same-sex parents and “they want their parents to have full recognition and full status. The voice of those children is important in this case, don’t you think?”

Yes! I do think!

And so, my first thoughts today were along the same lines. I felt deep happiness for the loving couples I have grown to know, love --and feel terribly honored to minister to-- here at Northaven Church.

* Our lesbian and gay parents who are faithful church members and great parents....
* Older couples, like our beloved George and Jack, who I know are smiling today....
* Our "traditional" couple, and single parent families, who are at Northaven because they want to be in a blended church that teaches the values of faithfulness and monogamy between couples...
* Our great kids children and youth (from traditional and LGBT families) who now have more than just the love of their local church and friends. They have a message from their government that their families have value and worth!

I give thanks that the Supreme Court has acknowledged what we have known here at Northaven for many years: Loving, committed, monogamous gay and lesbian couples are no threat to traditional marriage.

Sunday, in worship planned months ago, we will celebrate the second week of our "Freedom is Coming!" series.

Even more to the point, the theme of the week is "Freedom to Love," and the emphasis will be on Reconciling Ministries.

When we planned this a few months back, we could not have imagined that this "theme" would end up on the very Sunday after the Supreme Court ruling! It's hard to fathom just how beautiful that is, and what a celebration of the movement of God's Spirit Sunday will be.

I anticipate that it will be a great day of celebration, and maybe even tears of joy. I know you'll want to be with us!

from Reconciling Ministries Network

 

Obviously, a main point I hope to make Sunday is about LOVE. That "love is love." And that the love God calls us to is for an inclusion of all persons. Our love for LGBT persons --and our work to seek full inclusion for them in both civil law and the church-- comes from God's Great Commandment.

Which makes today seem like a good day to repost the blog I wrote some months back. "A Pastoral Case for Christian Same Sex Marriage" was written during the week the Supremes took up these cases. It seems like a good time to remind ourselves of this struggle.

Northaven's "Welcome Statement"

But! That same love calls us to a love of ALL persons too. As we say in the Reconciling Movement, "All Means All."

Our passion for inclusion extends to immigrants, ethnic minorities, those of different economic circumstances. We say these things in Northaven's "Welcome Statement," painted on the wall, outside the main sanctuary doors:

"Become we believe that God's love in Jesus Christ has broken down the walls that divide us, we seek to embody that love by welcoming people of all ages, races, sexual orientation, or economics circumstances."





Which brings me back to the other big Supreme Court decision this week on the Voting Rights Act. Longtime Northaven members will recall that our beloved saint, Judge Barefoot Sanders, was a key part of getting that legislation passed. During the push to pass that legislation, Barefoot was a key staff person for President Johnson on Capitol Hill.
So, as parts of that law are ruled unconstitutional, I could not help but remember him too. And the generations of Civil Rights leaders who passionately crafted that law. And I meditated on what we may be called to do to insure that our nation does not fall back in terms of civil rights.

Then, last night, I witnessed the power of women and their allies standing up for reproductive rights in the Texas State Capitol, and the powerful reminder that women's struggle for equality also continues.

So, I'm grateful to the Rev. Gil Caldwell, for his well-timed blog of today, which speaks to all of this.

"It has become evident that even with legislation and rulings for inclusion, equality, and equal access... racism, as well as sexism, heterosexism, and classism, remain....
This last week in June 2013, whether we are concerned about affirmative action and/or voting rights, immigration, the rights of women, marriage equality, food stamps for the poor, etc., etc., could be/ought be the beginning of a "Movement" of persons and groups. Conservatives, moderates and liberals, who like Fannie Hamer say; "We are sick and tired of being sick and tired" (Of dreams deferred)."

Read the whole blog here.

LOVE is the thread that connects it all. God's love for all God's children. God's call to us to make it mainfest in the world.

So, come join us Sunday, as we celebrate the movement of God's Holy Spirit that's loose in our society today, and as we dream of how it can spread more fully to all God's children.

(Leave a comment below. If you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook/Twitter by clicking the box below, so others can see too. Comments here are moderated, and are approved at my discretion, when I can get to it..so be patient if they don't appear right away)

Read More