Ash Wednesday Thoughts

None of these quotes were originally about Ash Wednesday. But all of them deeply speak to the truth of the day.

A few preliminary thoughts about where we are headed tomorrow...

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ... Stay hungry. Stay foolish."
-- Steve Jobs
from a Commencement Speech at Stanford University

"In many cases, people who've become aware of their mortality find that they've gained the freedom to live. They are seized with an appreciation for the present: every day is my best day; this is my life; I'm not going to have this moment again. They spend more time with the things and people they love and less time on people and pastimes that don't offer love or joy. This seems like such a simple thought-- shouldn't we all spend our lives that way? But we tend not to make those kinds of choices until somebody says, "You have twelve months to live.""
-- Dr. Bernie Siegel
from Handbook for the Soul

"A caption for a photograph: A man sitting on a folding chair in a cemetery, as a light rain fell and the sun shone at the same time, on the first day of summer in 1994.

If you were there, standing close by, you would notice that the sod beneath his chair was laid down in small square sections, suggesting it had been removed and then carefully replaced.
The man owns the property upon which he sits. He has paid for the site, paid to have the ground dug up, to have a cement vault installed, and to have the ground restored.
He is sitting on his own grave. Not because his death is imminent — he's in pretty good shape, actually. And not because he was in a morbid state of mind — he was in a fine mood when the picture was taken. In fact, while sitting there on his own grave, he has had one of the most affirmative afternoons of his life.
Sitting for an afternoon on his own grave, he has had one of those potent experiences when the large pattern of one's life is unexpectedly reviewed: the past, birth, childhood, adolescence, marriage, career, the present, and the future. He has confronted finitude — the limits of life. The fact of his own death lies before him and beneath him — raising the questions of the when and the where and the how of it. What shall he do with his life between now and then?"
-- Robert Fulghum
from From Beginning to End

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"He's here in plain view..."

From George Takei.

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Saintly Defiance

It should be said quite clearly that there's no definitive history available for the person known as "St. Valentine." Today is, of course, the day we celebrate in his honor, whoever he was. "Valentine" was, once-upon-a-time, a very popular name for men, since its root word is "Valor."

Archeologists have, in fact, uncovered a shrine to St. Valentine in the netherlayers of ancient Rome. So, that lends credence to the idea that, whoever he was, he was a real guy.

  

But here's something interesting. Among the many St. Valentine legends is one that tells how he secretly married couples who had been forbidden to marry by Emperor Claudius II of Rome.

For this, he was apparently beheaded by the Emperor, but beloved by the Christians of his day.

Sooo… to review....

Defying the marriage law of his day --marrying couples who were in love and desired to be wed but could not under the laws of the state-- is how he got remembered with reverence, and eventually becomes a Saint.

Huh...

Maybe these friends of mine --whom some claim have broken our clergy covenant just by signing this statement-- aren't so heretical after all. Well over 1,000 United Methodist clergy, nationwide, have signed this (or similar) statements, saying that if asked they will perform weddings for gay or lesbian couples.

Lot's of folks are up in arms about this. 

So, it's worth remembering that many of the revered "saints" of the church became so because they stood up to the conventional wisdom of their time, the "Powers That Be" of their day.

In the long view of history, many we call "heretics" the Church later calls "Saints." 

It's worth remembering.

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The One Thing That He Knows

A new song for you, on this Valentine's Day.
Thanks for the new songwriter group for their kind feedback.
Recorded last Friday...enjoy....

The One Thing That He Knows

On their first Valentines Day
He didn't know what to say

Standing in the row of cards
Suddenly, the choice seemed hard.

Would their love, so fresh and new
Grow its root, or break in two?

He loved her smile, and tender touch
But was afraid to say too much.

And the one thing that he knows
the one thing that he knows
Is that love means more
love means more
Love means more than chocolates and a rose.

On their twelfth Valentines Day
He didn't know what to say

Standing in the row of cards
The choices always seemed so hard.

They fought about the kids,
What to spend, and how to live.

Sometimes, they both felt so alone.
Sometimes, they were each other's home.

But the one thing that he knows
the one thing that he knows.
Is that love means more
love means more
Love means more than chocolates and a rose.

Every year, always the same
We try to capture and to name
What we really can never really say
What we can just live, day-to-day.

On their last Valentines Day
He didn't know....

But he reaches for her face
That simple lifelong grace.

Distant memories still call
Like faded pictures on their wall

Of a love so deep and true
In this assisted-living room

And the one thing that he knows
the one thing that he knows.
Is that love means more
love means more
Love means more than chocolates and a rose.

So much more than chocolates and a rose.

Words and Music by Eric Folkerth
Copyright © 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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The World's Happiest Dog

 

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$100,000

One hundred thousand dollars is an awful lot of money.

So, this morning, we pause in awe to reflect on this:

Connections has raised over $100,000 to eradicate malaria from the face of the planet.

We passed this milestone last night, at our Denton show. We're grateful to the good folks in Denton for putting us over the top, and for coming out to enjoy the great music.

I know I speak for all the members of the band, when I say that we stand in awe and amazement. The idea for this band started out with just five us us, saying "What if?"

It's grown into a beautiful thing that allows us the chance to play great music for thousands of people, provide a quality evening of entertainment, and raise money for several good causes. You can learn more about our band, its history, and its mission, by clicking here.

Today, however, we pause to specifically give thanks that we've been able to raise so much for malaria prevention. For those of you unfamiliar, you might be saying "why that cause?"

Mainly because it's an absolutely preventable disease that still kills far too many people, mostly on the continent of Africa.

When we began this work, it was to directly support a project called "Nothing But Nets," which was a project focuses exclusively on providing bed nets for Africa.

Within a few years, smart folks realized that bed nets were absolutely an important part, but to literally eradicate the disease, it would also take prevention, treatment, and education.

Thus, "Imagine No Malaria" was born, our current beneficiary of our anti-malaria shows. The ambitious goal of this project to literally eradicate the disease from the face of the planet. It can be done.

It's a joint project of our own United Methodist Church, the United Nations Foundation, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and several other very worthy NGOs.

Here's an overview video for the project:

We're honored to be partners with them in this effort, and to be doing our part to help.

Here's another short video, featuring Pauley Perrette, who plays Abby Sciuto on NCIS, and is a member of the Hollywood United Methodist Church:

Every forty-five seconds.

That means that, likely, four people have died of this preventable while you read/watched this here. In the time it takes to play a Connections' show, 113 people die.

But, here's the awe-inspiring thing. In terms of bed-nets, the funds that Connections has raised in our shows, have saved 20 to 30,000 lives!!!

We're so deeply grateful to be a part of it all.

If you've never contributed and are moved to do so, click here to donate online right now.

We want to specifically thank all of you who sometimes drive great distances to hear the band, and to all the churches who have hosted our anti-malaria shows. In addition to Denton, here are the other churches who have hosted a "Nothing But Nets" or "Imagine No Malaria" show:

Walnut Hill
Sachse
Lovers Lane
Richardson
Suncreek
Northaven
Coppell
Rockwall
McKinney
Wylie
Paris
Garland
Greenville
And, last but most definitely not least, Kaufman County.

This last group absolutely deserves special note. In two concerts, the good folks of Kaufman County, mostly small lakeside churches, have raised more than $25,000!! That's one quarter of all we've raised in this effort. Copious thanks to them, and especially to our friend and colleague, Eston Williams.


Here's the crazy thing. We're not done celebrating great milestones.

In fact, at our next show in Allen, we'll very likely pass two more significant fund-raising milestones.

Stay tuned. And come and see us.

And thanks to God, and all of you, who have supported us along this amazing journey.

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Initial Thoughts on the Situation at St. Luke's UMC

No doubt many readers of this blog will have already heard the allegations regarding sexual abuse of power by Tyrone Gordon, the former pastor of the St. Luke's Community United Methodist Church.

I've had several people, clergy colleagues and lay folk alike, asked my thoughts today, and I've been struggling with what, if anything, to write or say.

The allegations are horrible, and they should most certainly be taken with the utmost seriousness by everyone. Any allegation against a clergy, staff, or layperson of a United Methodist Church must be taken very seriously.

What got my attention, however, was that not only has Tyrone Gordon had been sued, but that St. Luke's and the North Texas Conference are also named.

This fact, primarily, is what gives me an abundance of caution, and tempers what I might otherwise wish to say at this moment.

We should all also be aware that this also changes what others will publicly say too. The filing of a civil suit will, no doubt, severely limit what anyone connected with the North Texas Conference will say publicly.

In coming days and weeks, I am sure many will find this frustrating, and perhaps even see it is a lack of leadership. In my opinion, that would be a mistake. Careful silence during an ongoing legal case cannot really be taken as a sign of anything other than what it is.

My instinct tells me that people I know and respect could be pulled into this situation, may be called to testify in a lawsuit, or could be connected in some other way not yet publicly known.
(Please understand: I have no direct knowledge, just an intuition of what could be true)

Or, it could be that none the preceding sentence is true.

Point is this: we don't know what we know or don't know.

What I do know is that, as a clergy member of the North Texas Conference, I know and love clergy, staff and lay persons from St. Luke. I know, love, and respect clergy and staff of the North Texas Conference.

So, what I am doing most actively tonight, is praying for all those involved, and giving thanks for a legal system that allows our society a chance to bring even the most challenging moral questions into a court of law for adjudication.

Here's what I'm praying for...

I pray that this situation will result in healing for anyone determined to have been subjected to abuse, harassment or intimidation. I pray, and I trust, that whatever the truth is, that truth will provide the avenue for that healing and restoration, should it be needed.

I pray for Tyrone Gordon and his family.

I pray for the good folks of St. Luke and for the North Texas Conference.

I pray for my friend and mentor, Dr. Zan Holmes.
Dr. Holmes, as you may have heard, will return to St. Luke as interim pastor, effective immediately, in the hope that his considerable skill, insight and wisdom can bring healing to that fractured church.

Dr. Holmes now lives just a few blocks away from Northaven. He's worshipped with us several times, and Northaveners will recall that he was our guest for a very special "Feast of Beginnings" last Fall.

So, this afternoon I left a card at his front door, expressing the constant state of prayer both I and Northaven hold him in, trusting that this situation is, undoubtedly, heartbreaking beyond measure for him.

I pray for all of those attempting to work through their myriad and confusing feelings at this moment, that they might have patience to allow the system to work.

I pray for those anywhere who have been abused by churches or church staffs, but who have chosen to never come forward with their stories. This story, no doubt, churns painful memories for them.

Also, I pray for all of us in United Methodist Churches who are diligently working to make our houses of worship as safe as possible for children, youth and adults.

I pray for all these persons, and I encourage you to do this same.

Sexual abuse, sexual harassment, abuse of power and authority by clergy, are not acceptable in our churches and cannot be tolerated. However, we would be naive to assume that they never happen.

The best way to keep them from happening is to develop environments where these issues are talked about openly, and where plans and procedures are in place.

Ironically, we are just about to become much more public in talking through these very issues at Northaven Church. Last December, our Leadership Council reviewed our own (Northaven's) guidelines for "Safe Sanctuary."

These guidelines cover things like definitions of abuse and harassment, reporting procedures should (God forbid) an allegation against a clergy, staff or layperson ever arise.

They also set forth ratios for "teachers/students" for our Children and Youth Ministries. Over the past several weeks, as a part of our yearly training with volunteers, teachers, and staff, we've been reviewing these procedures. In January, we renewed criminal background checks on every volunteer that works with children and adults, and on all staff.

And, as a culmination of these efforts, our plan is to highlight these very issues in worship, next Sunday, February 12th. This was our plan, well before any of today's news was known.(1)

We'll plan to go forward with this, in the knowledge that it now has a relevance we could never have dreamed of last Fall.

In the meantime, I hope you will continue to pray for all those I've mentioned, and for anyone else who might need help and support in this time.


(1) In fact, it was the multiple and shocking situations at Episcopal School of Dallas, Penn State, and Texas Judge William Adams that spurred us to action, not this current story. Those were to be the basis of next Sunday's discussions. This story simply brings it to a horrendous new level.

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