Daily Grat: Conversations with my Daughter

So, last night, about 11:30, I stop by Maria's room to see if she's asleep. She wasn't. She was re-reading the last pages of "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief," a book that she had been devouring all week.

I'm always more than pleased to see her reading instead of trying to watch TV. And, as I said, she devoured this one.

Along with book reading, another thing that she does less of these days is talk to me. It's not that she *doesn't* talk to me, or is avoiding me. It's just that a lot of the topics on her mind these days appear to be more things to talk to Mom about instead. I'm sanguine about this. It think it's likely just the way of the world.

But, last night when I stopped by, she said "Do you wanna hear about the book?"

I said, "Sure," and plopped down on the bed, and she preceded to give me a blow by blow recounting of the book...

It might have taken her 20-30 minutes. I lost track of time. A part of me thought "Jeez, it's late."

But another, bigger, part of me thought: How many more times in her life will she ever want to do this?

In the grand scheme of things, probably not many. I mean, we're standing right on the cusp of those teenage years.

So, I sat there and soaked up every single word...and cherished every single minute.

I am grateful, so grateful, to get the chance to hear my daughter tell me about a book she likes.

What a blessing.

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Daily Grat: Sleeping Late

I probably don't get enough sleep most of the time. I know this. It's an issue. I'm not alone.

But often, if there's nothing to do on a Saturday, I get the chance to sleep late. This morning, it was until 9:30...which will seem pretty late to some, and still pretty early to others. It was perfect for today.

First, let me acknowledge that I know not everybody gets this little grace. Lots of folks have lives where they *never* get to "sleep in." Because of of jobs where there's never a morning off, because of the need to care for small kids, teenagers with insane schedules, older parents, etc, etc...

I know just how rare this "daily gratitude" is for some people. Which only makes me all the more grateful.

Today, it felt like just enough to get "caught up" for the week.

I know, I know, experts will tell you "You never catch up..."

So why does it always feel like I do?

Sometimes, if I can just get that final hour or two on a Saturday morning, it wipes away all the too-short nights of the week. Wipes them clean.

I've had to work very very hard in life not to get too wound up that I can't sleep. The brain often wants to keep working, even when the body wants to rest. Playing guitar often helps. (that"Prayer and Meditation" effect I mentioned the other day...)

Reminding myself that there's often nothing else I can do, right at that moment, helps. Breathing helps. Trusting and surrendering helps. It takes a trust in your body, a trust in the rhythm of life, a trust that it comes around every 24-hours, to allow yourself to sleep well.

In a sense, sleep is about accepting our limitations and learning to love them. Sleep really is like a small, nightly death. Maybe that's why, even as little babies, we resist it so much. There's always a potential finality there that scares us.

The beauty is, like death, we always wake up.

Maybe that's what sleep is trying to teach us.

I am so grateful for sleep.
And so thankful for a life where late Saturdays are possible.

(During this year, my goal is to find something new to be thankful for every single day, and to add that thanksgiving as a blog entry, under the title "My Daily Gratitude." I started this kick back around Thanksgiving, and it's already resulted in a favorite new song of mine. The goal of this ongoing spiritual exercise is to see if doing such a thing might inspire even more gratitude within me, and to foster general awareness of life on a deeper level.)

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Daily Grat: My Coffee Mug

How is it that my favorite Christmas present this year is a coffee mug?

Dennise got me this coffee mug as a gift this year:



It's a ceramic Starbucks mug, and in this pic the top is off. It's just so much more substantial than plastic mugs I used to have. It keeps the coffee hot and my hands from burning...but it also allows some of the warmth through...just the right amount.

I love the morning ritual of coffee-making. I love the warmth and smell of it. I love how it goes with my aforementioned favorite breakfast. It's the only consistently good thing about morning.

Yes, I am not a morning person. In fact, I *hate* morning. Not just dislike, but hate. (Is it bad karma to hate something in the middle of a "Daily Gratitude?")

But coffee centers things back again, no matter how much the getting-up sucks.

And, of all the presents I got for Christmas, this is the one I love the most.

So, I am grateful for my new coffee mug, and for the little drink of grace that goes in it.

(During this year, my goal is to find something new to be thankful for every single day, and to add that thanksgiving as a blog entry, under the title "My Daily Gratitude." I started this kick back around Thanksgiving, and it's already resulted in a favorite new song of mine. The goal of this ongoing spiritual exercise is to see if doing such a thing might inspire even more gratitude within me, and to foster general awareness of life on a deeper level.)

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Daily Grat: A Warm House

Pete Delkus' hair has been on fire all week. Not from the hair spray, but from the storm headed our way.

However, the latest news seems to indicate we may be spared our FOURTH snow-event of the winter (A record in my memory, for sure). Nevertheless, it's gonna get cold. Saw a FB post by Dave Stoddard, who lives in Fargo, yesterday morning, and he said it was -6 there there, with winds of 50 MPH. So I guess it can always be worse.

But it reminds me of how grateful I am for central heat and air. Man, do we take that for granted! I mean, it wasn't that long ago that the only way to make it through a cold night was to stoke a stove with wood or coal. I can still remember the shuttered-up coal shoot in down in the basement of my grandparent's Kentucky home. Even though it'd been out of commission for some time by the time I ever saw it, it wasn't that hard to imagine the work it must've been to keep it going.

Now? The whole unit's in the closet, just outside the bedroom door. And although I sometimes moan about its dull roar (like a distant airplane engine...) where would I be without it?



Every morning, I wake up and it's warm. Cozy warm. And I haven't done a thing but turn on a switch.

Sociologists have done studies on air conditioning and the population explosion of the American Southwest and Texas. No question, the two are definitely related.

We take so much of our interior climate for granted now. It can be below freezing, it can be above 100, and except for a few moments of adjustment once you come inside, you just go on with life without having to shovel coal, or fan yourself.

And so, today's "My Daily Gratitude" is Central Heat and Air....and a warm house.

Many thanks to the brilliant folks who made it happen.

And my I remember to stop and be thankful for it now and then.

(During this year, my goal is to find something new to be thankful for every single day, and to add that thanksgiving as a blog entry, under the title "My Daily Gratitude." I started this kick back around Thanksgiving, and it's already resulted in a favorite new song of mine. The goal of this ongoing spiritual exercise is to see if doing such a thing might inspire even more gratitude within me, and to foster general awareness of life on a deeper level.)

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Daily Grat: Wine

Today's daily gratitude is wine.

"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
-- Benjamin Franklin

We've become fond of Yellow Tail's Merlot, which can be had for a steal at Costco.



That's where we get it, and we generally have a glass with dinner. It's such a delish treat, and is such a nice and inexpensive wine choice. Especially on Wednesday nights, when I almost never have a meeting, it's so great to have dinner and a glass. Tonight, it's Tortilla Encrusted Tilapia and Broccoli. Yum.

Of course, alcohol is a substance that can definitely be abused, and that abuse causes some people great heartache in life. I'm very aware of friends who have an issue with it. So, moderation is an important thing, for sure.

But today's Daily Grat is wine...gratitude for being able to enjoy it and trusting that, like Franklin said (and Jesus too, for that matter...) it can be a sign of God's love for us.

(During this year, my goal is to find something new to be thankful for every single day, and to add that thanksgiving as a blog entry, under the title "My Daily Gratitude." I started this kick back around Thanksgiving, and it's already resulted in a favorite new song of mine. The goal of this ongoing spiritual exercise is to see if doing such a thing might inspire even more gratitude within me, and to foster general awareness of life on a deeper level.)

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Daily Grat: The Gift of Playing Guitar

I love playing guitar. I think I've loved it from the first moment I picked one up in the seventh grade. Back in what was clearly a less enlightened time (turn on your sarcasm detectors) public schools actually did things like teach guitar. I took guitar at Westwood Junior High for an entire semester.

After that, I took lessons for a few months at a little music store in the Spring Creek Shopping Center that no longer exists, from some guy with long hair in a tiny back closet that they'd set aside for such things. I think that lasted for about three months. Since then, I've been on my own, picking it up from friends who are better...watching folks who I admire like hawks...and practicing moves over and over and over.

I'll never be the world's best player, and thank God that stopped mattering to me a long long time ago...about the time I realized that I need to play much more than I needed to be perfect.

To me, there is just nothing like playing guitar. So, it's today's "Daily Gratitude."

And a new blessing, as many of you know, is playing with a band. I was well into my forties before I ever played with a band. I'm still mostly a solo guy at heart. But the band thing is fun too. Really, anytime, day or night, alone or in a group, is a good time to play guitar.

My favorite time, though, is by myself, late at night, after everybody else has gone to bed (Sub-Daily Grat: a house big enough that no one else is bothered by this...)

There's a small bathroom right next to the study here, and I usually play in there; and even playing by myself, I usually stand. Not looking in the mirror, but looking into the corner, so that the sound bounces back all over me. Part of this is being deaf in one ear, and desperately yearning to "hear" the full sound that I miss if the sound is not bouncing right back at me. But the other reason is so that I'm feeling every single note in my belly and chest (those sweet, low reverberations...especially of alternate tunings...) but also all the rest of the sound, just welling all around me in that small, tiled space. Sometimes, I stop singing and just PLAY...just to hear the sweet sounds and vibrations.

I've had my Santa Cruz for about three full years now, and just in the past eight or nine months it feels like we are finally getting to know each other. I'm not afraid of her anymore. It feels like I'm playing with more feeling than I used to...and it feels GOOD. I think she's grateful for my growing confidence too, and is showing it with constantly sweeter sound. At least to my ear.

There is such a good feeling, such a high, that comes from playing. The only thing I know close to it is prayer and meditation. Both clear my head in exactly the same way. Both can take whatever the emotion that I'm full of, and empty it out of me through the act itself...playing or praying....take your pick.

A therapist once told me that, as somebody who loves playing as much as I do, I should definitely do it as much as possible. I was in a period of pretty deep depression at the time, on anti-depressants, and just looking for general ways to feel better.

The way my therapist explained things, there are several basic ways to get more endorphins in the brain. One way would be self-medicating. Not really a good choice. The other basic ones to all of us are: food, sex, exercise, and prayer and meditation.

But then, he added that for a lover of music --for a writer or performer or musician of almost any kind --playing/performing/writing/creating itself can trigger that very same endorphin release too. It can, quite literally, help to lift a person out of depression....to realign those brain chemicals back to a peaceful place.

I had never heard it said quite that way, and from a medical professional. But the moment he said it, I knew instinctively it was true.

I always...always...always feel better when I'm done playing guitar. I sleep better and more soundly afterward. I even dream better too.

Where would I be without it? Who would I be without it?

I shudder to think.

Luckily I don't have to, and I can just be grateful that it's an enduring and crucial gift in my life.


(During this year, my goal is to find something new to be thankful for every single day, and to add that thanksgiving as a blog entry, under the title "My Daily Gratitude." I started this kick back around Thanksgiving, and it's already resulted in a favorite new song of mine. The goal of this ongoing spiritual exercise is to see if doing such a thing might inspire even more gratitude within me, and to foster general awareness of life on a deeper level.)

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Daily Grat: Fresh Blueberries

I'm gonna try something new today.

I'm gonna try something new every day for the next year, actually.

I'm calling it "My Daily Gratitude."

One of my core beliefs is that thankfulness always creates more thankfulness. The more I stop to take note of the things I am grateful for in life, the more things I am likely to find to be grateful for in the future.

It's not that gratitude ever magically wipes way life's challenges, failures, or pains. It's more a theory that each and every day we have far more to be grateful for than we ever consciously realize. Even when things are going horribly wrong...even when the macro-level events of life are out of control...there are smaller miracles, moments of beauty, and connections with people that can bring incredible depth and purpose to life, sometimes with surprising power.

The Buddhists call this "mindfulness." Jesus spoke of it, when he encouraged us to "consider the lilies of the field." (ie, don't just think about them, be grateful for what their beauty teaches us...)

So, each and every day for the next year, I'm gonna attempt to list a "Daily Gratitude."

Daily Gratitude #1: Fresh Blueberries
I've been eating blueberries in my oatmeal every morning for about the past eight months. I cook the oatmeal in apple juice, and mix in a little more than a cup of the fruit. The taste is unbelievably sweet...like a blueberry muffin in a bowl.



But, man, are fresh blueberries amazing. When they're fresh, mixed in the oatmeal, they have this incredible juicy warmth, but the skin it taught and sometimes they pop right in your mouth. Wow.

What a gift each morning...what a gift.

So, today, I am thankful for fresh blueberries.

(During this year, my goal is to find something new to be thankful for every single day, and to add that thanksgiving as a blog entry, under the title "My Daily Gratitude." I started this kick back around Thanksgiving, and it's already resulted in a favorite new song of mine. The goal of this ongoing spiritual exercise is to see if doing such a thing might inspire even more gratitude within me, and to foster general awareness of life on a deeper level.)

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Connections Benefit for Haiti: This Friday Night

Incredibly, I have not posted about Friday's show on my own blog. I've left word a dozen times or more on Facebook. I did mention it as a part of the entry on UMCOR. But no entry on its own...so here goes....

Our Friday show, which already would have been special to me since it's at Northaven, will now be a very powerful evening. And, we're hearing anecdotally, possibly a huge crowd.

Here's the info from the band webite, cross posted here:

Connections SuperHits of the 70s
A Benefit for Haiti, through UMCOR
Friday, January 22nd 7 pm
Northaven UMC
11211 Preston Road
Dallas, TX 75230

The two sets include classics from Fleetwod Mac, Stevie Wonder, Steve Miller, and Earth Wind and Fire. There are ballads from Harry Chapin ("Cats in the Cradle"), and rockers from Steely Dan ("Reelin' in the Years").

You'll be singing along on every song and once again be pleased by our most ambitious concert yet. More than 25 musicians, including full brass and strings, will provide the music for the night.

As long term fans will know, we are passionate supporters of UMCOR. During our shows, we often talk about their unparalleled ability to deliver emergency aid to difficult and challenging situations. This is certainly one of those moments. So, while we would never wish for any natural disaster: the mission of our band and the timing of this show have combined to make this a potentially powerful evening.

When tragedies like this strike, everyone asks, "What can we do?"

One of the clearest and most often cited responses is: "Give to a worthwhile and trusted charity who will do good work on the ground."

UMCOR is one of those groups, and we are proud to be in partnership with them already. As you may have heard, the head of UMCOR was killed in Haiti this past week, one of three United Methodist-related deaths in Haiti in a period of three days.

The scope of the tragedy can seem overwhelming, with hundreds of thousands of Haitians dead, and some near and dear to those in the Dallas area, also seriously injured or killed.

Band member Eric Folkerth has been on mission in Haiti before, and so we'll have pictures and stories of actual work on the ground there to share. Here's a message from Eric:

"I have a special place in my heart for the people of Haiti. As someone who went on five mission trips there in the 1990s, I can tell you that my heart is broken, as I am sure yours is too. Perhaps it might seem like too flippant a thing to consider a concert at this time.

Far from it! Helping Connections fulfill its mission to raise funds for UMCOR is one of the most tangible things each of you can do to help. Not everyone can go to Haiti. But as someone who has, I can assure you that your presence at our show will make a difference!

And, on a personal note, it will do my own heart and soul good to know that, in our singing for you that night, we will be spreading a little light to my friends who are suffering in Haiti. We WILL make a difference.

I hope you'll join us for what will certainly be a special evening of music and mission."


To date Connections has raised more than $73,000 for worthy charities.

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Official UMC Info on Haiti

The UMC has set up a central site for all the news and information about Haiti.

You can find it here.

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In the Name of Love

"In the name of Love. What more in the name of love."
- U2

"You will always have what you gave to love."
-- David Wilcox and Beth Neilsen Chapman

"There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear."
-- 1 John

Oh, the humanity...
Oh, the personal pain...

The earthquake in Haiti is one of the greatest human catastrophes in recent memory. The suffering will continue to grow in the coming weeks and months. Some of you already know my own personal connections to Haiti, and specifically my former connection the HPUMC, Dallas mission team that has been so much in the news this week. I was staff leader of that team for five trips, and I know and love some of those on the current trip as close colleagues and friends.

Many of you have heard of the yesterday's death of Jean Arnwine, a member of the current HPUMC Haiti team, from complications due to injuries suffered in the collapse of the Petit Guave Eye Clinic during the initial quake on Tuesday.

And, literally as I write/edit this blog, news comes down the wire that Rev. Sam Dixon, the head of United Methodist Committee on Relief, has also been confirmed dead today. He was apparently trapped in the Hotel Montana, a hotel nestled on the side of the hill above Port au Prince, where many humanitarian-minded folks --including myself and our mission teams, on our last night "in country"-- used to stay.

Update #2 (10.17.10)
We have now also learned that the Rev. Clint Rabb, the head of United Methodist "Volunteers in Mission," has also died in a Florida hospital. Clint was also trapped in the rubble of Hotel Montana, but it was believed he had survived. What an incredible shock....this is now three United Methodist-related deaths in three days. And all three after reports that the deceased were injured, but alive...only to later determine that they had died.

These deaths are a great shock to everyone. It is the worst nightmare for anyone who has ever gone on a global mission trip, and especially for those of us who organize and shepherd such teams from any church anywhere.

However, the truth of the Gospel also teaches us that reaching out in love often involves great risk. While we rarely verbalize such thoughts, if we are honest, they are somewhere in our brains every single time we reach outside our comfort zones, and especially when we travel abroad in mission. On each and every one of my 30-some trips, these thoughts have been somewhere in the recesses of my brain. That is only human.



Although I never met Jean, I am aware that she made her love for this trip known and --quite literally, just minutes before the earthquake-- expressed to others how powerful the trip was to her, and her desire to return next year.

Since I've been with them on previous trips to this very clinic, I've talked with several of the team since their return. And here's what the three I've talked to have told me: even though they were trapped in the rubble of a collapsed structure in a rural Haitian town, they would still return again to do mission work there in the future. Such is their love for Haiti and their commitment to serve in Christ's name, without fear.

In fact, I have now heard a little more about Dr. Gary Fish that illustrates this. Dr. Fish was the team member who carefully and painstakingly cared for Jean Arnwine, and stayed with her in the country, even as everyone else was evacuating. Knowing Gary, he did *everything* humanly possible to see that she had the best chance for survival.

After Jean was pronounced dead on the island of Guadaloupe, there was some time before her body and Dr. Fish could be transported back to the states. Gary, it is now known, suffered a broken sternum. So, you might imagine that he just took that time to rest in a hospital bed himself.

But, no. Injured himself, still coming to grips with the loss of his colleague, he got up and started treating the other wounded being evacuated to that island.

Those of us who know Gary are not surprised by this. That's just the way he is. That's the way many on this team are. If given the chance to be serving in Haiti right now, even those who were sick and injured themselves want to be there.

Although I never met Sam or Clint, I know the incredible work that UMCOR does in Haiti and around the globe, and I know the passion, commitment, and love that all those who work for this fine agency carry with them. I know what love it takes for anyone to go on a "Volunteer in Mission" trip (especially in countries like Haiti...) and have been inspired by VIM staff on all the many trips I've been a part of over the years.

I believe I am right that this now brings the American death toll to nine. And while this is completely dwarfed by the horrendous tragedy of hundreds of thousands of Haitian dead, I'm also struck that three of these were doing United Methodist mission work.

People like Jean, Sam, and Clint --like the rest of the HPUMC Eye Clinic team, and like all others in Haiti mission fields-- love the missional work of the church with a passion that is hard to verbalize. It's hard to verbalize, because it's a love that is not expressed in words, but in action. They embody the ministry of "love your neighbor" in a tangible way.

And their deaths can teach us this powerful truth:

Perfect love casts out fear. Christ's love can compel the heart to love others, no matter the cost; and comfort the heart, no matter the outcome.

Love --whether in the mission field, or of a newborn in a crib; whether across the globe, or across your breakfast table-- always involves risk. It always involves the chance of being "hurt," sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally.

The only complete and total safety in life is to shut down, emotionally and spiritually, and to not allow the world in. However, this invariably leads to death even more assuredly than any risk of love. And this kind of shutting down is clearly against the Gospel. We sometimes say, in worship, that there are "deaths" more dangerous that physical death. Tragedies like Haiti remind us, challenge us, and push us, to meditate on this truth.

It is not that we ever hold life cheaply, or intentionally and recklessly put ourselves in "harms way." Far from it! Being careful is always a part of each act of love. But, as we've just said love inherently involves risk. Those risks are present in each act of love. Sometimes, those risks become painfully manifest.

The GOOD NEWS is that God accompanies us in our acts of love, no matter where they occur. God loves each of our acts of our loving others, no matter what the cost. And, should we ever be hurt, physically or spiritually, should even death come, God is still with us and loving us still.

It is perhaps even more poignant that this weekend is Martin Luther King weekend. It is extremely important to remember that Dr. King's commitment to social justice and social change came from his commitment to Christ.

Last night, we put our daughter and three others from Northaven on a bus that is taking an historic MLK Weekend tour. The "Confirmation Civil Rights Bus Tour" is going to Little Rock, Memphis, Atlanta, Birmingham, and Selma, and 55 youth and adults are learning about the powerful connection between faith and action, as embodied by Dr. King.

His "strength to love" came from Jesus, and his ability to face even death came from the knowledge that no hate, no suffering, no sorrow, can ever finally erase the power of God's love in the world.

We should certainly never forget that his life came to end as he sought to love others too. In fact, Chris Reed, our Youth Minister, tweeted this picture just a few moments ago, from outside the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis. While these words applied first to Dr. King, it seems to me they also apply to all who die in the service of love to others.

Haiti reminds us, the legacy of Dr. King reminds us, that no act of love is ever lost. We always have, even in our time of physical death, each act of love that we have performed.

And God gathers up each of these acts of love for all of eternity.

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What To Do For Haiti

As I posted earlier, most of my mission friends are now out of Haiti. Although two of their team are still at a hospital in the Caribbean. HPUMC will continue to update their site with the latest public information here.

I talked with Lila Foree for along time this morning. What an amazing story they have to tell. I am sure they will tell it when they are ready.

I'm just SO glad they're home. A Facebook friend chided me a bit this morning for how much I've been posting about them, and it's probably a good reminder. Yes, I've been to a clinic that was destroyed. Yes, my friends were gravely injured.

But thousands and thousands more are still trapped and/or dead. Many more will die in the coming days due to disease or lack of care.

Frankly, I must admit that I have not been able to watch much TV coverage of this tragedy. I've mostly been worrying about my friends, and am so relieved that they are safe.

But, early this morning, as I finally breathed out a long siiiighhhh of relief....something else quickly followed: Waves and waves of tears...sobbing tears...for the people of Haiti and for the scope of this disaster.

I still can't look the TV coverage. I know it's horrible.

So, after the tears stop, what do we do?

The first thing I will tell you is: GIVE MONEY.

Lot's of it. As much as you can stand. Yes, I know, people say, "But they always just want my money."

That's not entirely true. Someday very soon, there will be a need for volunteers. And if you really want to go then, they can probably use you. But they don't need your old sorority sweatshirt or dirty socks. Don't send clothes. Please. I've seen bags of clothes, just rotting by the side of the road at some mission locations.

For right now, send cold hard cash.

After I push this point with people, they often follow with a second objection (After trying: "they just want my money"):

"But what if I get ripped off?"

So, let me quickly lay out a few principles of charitable giving for a time such as this (At least as I see it):

a) Loving others involves getting scammed from time to time
You give to an agency. You give a quarter to the guy in the parking lot. You make the effort. You build someone a house.

Then, they use the cash for drugs. They're ungrateful for the new house. The agency you pick spends too much on overhead. Whatever. But it pisses you off.

But look here, and I mean this in all sincerity: the first rule about loving, of any kind, involves being willing to have your heart broken.

If you are unwilling to have your heart broken, do not give it away love. Keep it locked up. Keep it as safe as possible. Sure, you'll be sad, lonely, pathetic, and by yourself, But, by God, you'll be safe!

Hell, anybody whose ever loved knows that the closest people to you will eventually break your heart. That's why forgiveness is always such a hotly debated topic.

So, if those you love most in the world will eventually let you down, what makes your favorite "do-gooder" organization won't either?!! I mean, take your pick. It doesn't matter if it's secular or religious...government or private...any organization you love and attach your heart to will eventually break it. And then, you'll be left to decide whether or not you want to keep connected to them, or whether you have to move on.

Love involves risk. Giving involves risk. Either be ready for it, or choose not to do it. But if you open yourself to the world, you're gonna get hurt. That's the way it works.

b) "Having Said That" (Thrown in especially for Larry David Show fans...)
No one deserves to get fooled time after time. If you think your favorite charity is scamming you, find a new one. If you think your favorite organization is leading you on, walk away.

c) There's an App for That (OK...a website)
It's called Charity Watch. They do nothing all day but "rate" charities. Check out your favorite charity there. It will help you put as much trust as you can into fallible, human and, by definition, flawed organizations.

d) I do have a favorite to recommend (I KNOW! I have an opinion...it's so unusual... ;))
I have a favorite, and that's the punchline of this blog. I alway do my charitable giving through the United Methodist Committee on Relief (UMCOR).

UMCOR is one of the most well-respected aid agencies of any kind. Period. Not just *religious* organization, but any organization of any kind. Charity Watch rates it among it's "Top Rated" agencies for "International Relief and Development" with the covted "A+ Rating."

They work cooperatively with almost every other aid agency out there. They do not push their own "agenda." They listen to local people.

The already-established structures of the United Methodist Church allow every cent of every dollar given to UMCOR to go even farther than in many other agencies.

The are top notch. And they are in Haiti now. In fact, top level folks with UMCOR were in Port Au Prince at the Hotel Montana when the quake hit. They were missing for severl days, and were only located last night.

The Hotel Montana was mostly destroyed in that earthquake. But I remember staying there several times, on our last nights before leaving the country. It was almost always packed with journalists, UN workers, Red Cross, other humanitarian workers, and almost always somebody from UMCOR.

They are always right in the midst of the world's greatest disasters, because that is their calling as an agency, and our calling as a denomination. They are in Haiti now. They were there everyime I was there. And they will be there, long after the cameras pack up to go home (which they most assuredly will...)

Here's video featuring a typical UMCOR program in Haiti from before the earthquake:



Our band has worked to support UMCOR for the past four years, raising tens of thousands of dollars for them.

As it would happen, our next show is at my church, this coming Friday, January 22nd.

As you might guess, we've decided to make UMCOR the beneficiary of the show. I can't tell you how grateful that makes me. And I can't tell you how eager I am to play that show. Every show we do raises needed money for mission "somewhere." But this is mission I have seen with my own eyes...this will go to supplies I have actually used before....in clinics I dearly love...among people I actually know.

All our band will tell you that it is an incredible gift to be able to use the gift of music to raise money in a disaster like this. Even more so when you're close to it.

So, if you are free, please come next Friday. Here are the details:

Connections "SuperHits of the 70s"
Friday, January 22nd, 7 pm
Northaven UMC
11211 Preston Road
Dallas, TX 75230

Here's the official show posting at our band website.

Some of you may want to give right now. Please do. (In fact, give twice...today and next Friday!)

Here is the direct link to give online to Haiti Relief through UMCOR.

You won't get ripped off by UMCOR. Promise.

And that will leave plenty of your heart to be broken by Haiti itself.

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Most of the HP Mission Team are back and safe.

HPUMC is now confirming that 10 of 12 team members are in Dallas. I just had a long conversation with Lila Foree.

Ken has been released from the hospital and is resting at home. Much more to say, but not now...for now....great relief....and continued prayers for the two still not home, and all those who are still in the midst of this. More at the hpumc website here for those interested.

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Plans Underway to Evacuate the HPUMC Team

Here is the latest update from HPUMC:

"Our plane is in the air on the way to the Dominican Republic where it will pick up Ken & Lila Foree. Ken's hand is injured, but extent is unknown. Two are en route to Martinique. One has serious internal injuries, the other has broken ribs. Three are in Haiti and healthy, apparently on a plane to the US where they will join the five already in the US. Of those five, two are hurt, with a back injury and a broken hand. We hope our plane will pick up the Forees then go to Miami to get the rest."

We'll hold our breath for all who are injured until we can get a full accounting from an official source. But things have progressed quickly today!

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Please Do Not Listen to Pat Robertson

Good Lord, he's done it again.

Another horrible natural calamity, and Pat Robertson has again opened his mouth, inserted his foot, and generally embarrassed people of faith.

I won't repeat what he has said, but the gist of it is that he has claimed that this catastrophic earthquake befell Haiti because they are under the spell of demonic powers.

Basically, he has taken an actual "folk tale" that Haitians tell themselves, and passed it on as if it's historical fact or theological truth.

A little background...

Haiti, as you must know, has been a country of heartbreak for more than 200 years. While it's the second oldest free democracy in the Western Hemisphere, it has never flourished the way anyone imagined a democracy might. (A cautionary tale for "democracy-spreaders" in our own time, btw...)

There are myriad reasons for this...internal corruption and fighting...strong dictators who did not develop the people...foreign interference.

Lots of things have gone wrong, generation after generation, in Haiti.

And so, surely the people began to ask themselves: "WHY?!"

As someone who's been there five times myself, I ask that a lot...why is a country filled with such beautiful and spirited people beset by so much heartbreak, year after year after year?

One explanation came in the form a story Haitians tell themselves. The story goes that the founder of Haiti, its first "Liberator" from the French, made a deal with the Devil. Basically: help me free the country, and the country will serve you forever.

In theology school, we called this an "Etiological Narrative," a story that gets told to explain "why" something is the way it is.

Why is there morning and night?
Because God made the "greater light" to rule the day, and the "lesser light" to rule the night.

At least, that's what the ancient people who wrote Genesis believed.

Why does rain fall from the sky?
Because God created the waters "above" and the waters "below."

It doesn't mean it *literally* happened that way. But as human beings saw a blue sky that sometimes opened up and rained, as they saw the blue of the ocean that sometimes met the curve of the sky, there was a certain logic to the explanation. It helped something confusing make sense.

It's more poetry than scientific fact...more folk tale than history book. It's a story humans tell themselves to explain "why things are the way they are."

This is the case with this folk tale from Haiti.

BTW, lest you believe such tales only develop in "poor and backward" countries, I would remind you of the "Curse of the Bambino," the story that --until just a few years ago-- lovers of the Boston Red Sox told themselves about their woeful place in baseball history.

Nobody in Boston *really* believed God had cursed them (New Yorkers are not allowed to weigh in on this... ;)) It was a *story* they told themselves to explain their plight.

There is not one shred of historical proof that this Haitian "curse" ever happened. It's a LEGEND, that attempts to explain the hardship of Haiti.

Unfortunately, Pat Robertson opened his big mouth and repeated it as if it was FACT, as if it explains something *real* about the history of Haiti.

But there are even *more* reasons to condemn Robertson here.

He's wrong theologically too.

God does not send natural calamities to sinful people, any more than God gives extra goodness and wealth to the faithful.

The rain, Jesus says, falls on the just and the unjust.

God does not curse entire societies to lives of suffering.

It's easily provable in this case, by reminding you that my dear friends, Lila and Ken Foree, are currently trapped in Haiti, with a team of twelve. Lila and Ken have led mission teams there, from Highland Park United Methodist Church, for more than 30 years. I had the great good fortune to be in Haiti with them five times, while I was Minister of Outreach at that church.

I do not know two more holy and humble people than the Forees. To my mind, I place them alongside of Mother Theresa, in terms of their commitment to the poor and suffering. They have spent (literally) years of their lives, thousand of dollars of their own resources, in the country of Haiti...and in the city of Petit, Guave.

For years, I have wanted to write a long blog about my experiences in Haiti and specifically to write about Lila and Ken, who I consider among my dearest friends, but I've never gotten around to it. (I am sure I will soon...)



I mention them now because, as many in Dallas will know, they are currently stuck in Haiti in the aftermath of that earthquake with the current incarnation of those mission teams. Communication is tough. But it is known that all members of the group are accounted for and alive. (I am aware that there is probably additional encouraging news coming out today, but I am not at liberty to share, nor is it entirely confirmed...)



God would not send an earthquake to punish Haiti when there are so many decent, loving Haitian people...people with incredible hearts, generous spirits and abiding faith. And God would not punish the saints I know: Lila and Ken Foree.

Bad things just happen. Period. Sometimes there's no good way to explain it.

And in fact, if you actually READ the Bible, you find that, time after time, God is especially present in places where there are suffering people...marginalized people...forgotten and poor people. God has a special love for the suffering, sick, and poor. Far from reigning judgment down on them for being in this condition, God call us US to serve them, love them, and minister WITH them, all the more.

So, given the state of the devastation there, my first reaction was to want to curse Pat Robertson...to scream at him...to rant through this blog at his total ineptitude and the shame of his words.

Then, I read this Facebook post from my friend and colleague, Rev. David Weber, who has helped to "center me" once again:

"My prayer is that Pat Robertson gets to experience genuine grace before he dies. Whatever foulness infected him early and has grown unabated must be a terrible and difficult burden. Do not envy him, do not try to follow his teachings. I actually feel some compassion for him, while hoping his "ministry" will fail so that others would not be stained by his anger."

David's absolutely right. In a strange way, I too feel compassion for him. He is so *clearly* misguided, and his words are such a vast caricature of the values and teachings of Jesus, that I hope and pray nobody really takes him seriously.

Yes, I know he has ardent followers who do. But most people know in their guts...in their souls....just how wrong he is.

I will probably write much more about Haiti in the coming weeks. (And I may have video of a brief appearance I made on Channel 8 this morning...)

I am heartbroken for the country, personally, and the truth is that I'm *not* taking it all in...because if I did I would simply be a puddle of tears of the floor.

I can't go there yet....except for a few moments here and there.

It will take years and years for Haiti to recover. This earthquake has affected rich and poor alike there. The rescue effort itself will be slow and halting, as even the rescuers will be dealing with their sense of loss and injury. I am sure (as they asked me off-air at Channel 8 this morning) that I some of my Haitian friends have died.

I just can't take it all in yet.

But I will say much more.

Right now I will say this:

Pray for ALL the people of Haiti.

Pray for ALL the rescuers now on the way.

And two more prayers I have to ask of you:

Pray for my friends stuck there now.

And pray for the heart of Pat Robertson.

But, please, do not listen to him.

------------------------------------
Note: to those of you stumbling on this blog via links from other sites....welcome!

I've done some other writing on Haiti you might like.

Here is my plea for gifts to UMCOR.

Here is my reflection on the three United Methodists who died in Haiti, including one on a mission team I used to help lead.

Finally, here is my sermon from yesterday (audio file) that tells some stories told to me by those who survived the earthquake with the HPUMC team. It includes some of the same stories in the previous blog.

(As always, if you like this post, then "like" this on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...)

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Another View of our Beautiful World

Thanks to my Dad for emailing this to me...

This is a computer simulation of the world's air traffic, over a 24-hour period. You can see the path of the Sun and shadows too. As you can see, the traffic increases as the Sun comes up, and slows, as the shadows grow.

Take a look:



As my Dad said, there is is something "hypnotic" about this. He's right. I've probably watched it six or eight times already.

We are battling ants here in the house right now. We think they've been attracted inside because of how cold it is outside. (They're small little scavenger ants, not Fire Ants...)

It's amazing to watch how they travel in these Chisholm Trail-like patterns. And it's amazing to me how similar their patterns are to these patterns of these massive jets are.

There is something almost "organic" about it..how humbling it is...and how beautiful.

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Our Bevo Who Art In Pasture

(A prayer for tonight, zipping around various internet sources this afternoon...)

Our Bevo, who art in pasture,
Hallowed be Thy horns.
Thy University come,
Thy will be done, on the field as it is in Austin.
Give us this day, our daily hook 'em,
And forgive us for nearly losing to Nebraska
as we forgive the voters for not giving Colt a Heisman.
Lead us not into Norman,
and deliver us from Aggie-land.
For thine is the victory, the championship, and the glory forever.
Amen

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The 25 Most Listened To Songs on Eric's iPod for 2009

One the great things about having a working iPod again this year is the ability to share the "25 Most Played" songs on my iPod/iTunes again.

This exercise always tells something of the story of the year in tune and lyrics. There are different reasons for each of these songs being in the list.

In an annoying bit of commercialism, when you export a playlist iTunes doesn't include songs that aren't for sale on iTunes. So, to work around this, I've copied and pasted the list so that all 25 songs appear here.

Let's get rolling...

Eric's 25 Most Listened To Songs for 2009

1) "Nobody's Cryin'" Patty Griffin 1000 Kisses
So, the first confession here is that for inexplicable reasons, this incredible CD never made it on to my radar. I had "Flaming Red," and liked it well enough. But, Good Lord, what an amazing CD this is. I first heard the song when songwriter friend Karyn Oliver played it around the circle one morning at our Camp Nashbill home. Something about this melancholy lyric really touched me and, as you will see from the rest of this list, I got pretty hooked on the whole CD too. It's such a gentle and kind wish for, apparently, an old lover:

"I wish you well
On your way to the wishing well
Swinging off of those gates of hell
But I can tell how hard you're trying
Still have this secret hope
Sometimes all I do is cope
Somewhere on the steepest slope
There's an endless rope
And nobody's crying."

What an incredible song....all I can say.

2) "Cry" Slaid Cleaves Everything You Love Will Be Taken Away
OK. So, yes, the first two songs titles in this list are indeed ironic.

A music-writer friend gave me a pre-release copy of this CD, and it quickly became a favorite for the year. Of course, anything from Slaid Cleaves is good. But there is real depth to these lyrics....themes of love, life, and loss. This song features the lyric that makes up the song title. Reminds me a bit of the Buddhist ideal that "life is suffering."

"Every bond is a bond to sorrow,
Every blue sky turns gray
Everything you love will be taken away
Cry for your Momma
Cry your Dad
Cry for everything you know they never had."

Again, something about this song haunted me this year, and I just kept listening again and again.

3) "Reelin' in the Years" Steely Dan Can't Buy a Thrill
As I said, the different songs in this list make it here for very different reasons. This one has a very specific reason. It was a part of Connections' "SuperHits of the 70" show, that we debuted back in September.

And though perhaps it can't be bought, I can assure it's a thrill to sing (sorry, just had to...), and I was pleased that it was one I got to sing it. If I might say so myself, we really kill on this one. So, anyway, the very clear reason that this one makes the list so prominently is that I listened it over and over in the car, trying to get the timing down. (it's a pretty non-standard timing to sing to, btw...)

4) "I Receive" Israel Houghton The Power of One
My general dislike of "Christian music" is well known. I have written about it a lot, most notably here. Despite the fact that I really enjoy songs with spiritual themes, I find most "Contemporary Christian Music" to be formulaic and predictable.

Then, back in November, I participated in the three-days of the Sojourner's Justice Revival" here in Dallas, sponsored by Sojourner's Magazine.

Israel Houghton and The New Breed closed the last night night of the three day event....and they totally blew me away. They did this song, and they did a bunch more songs from this CD, which seems like something of a solo-project for Houghton (pronounced "Ho-Ton").

Good Lord, this band rocks. They are instrumentally and vocally amazing. So, yes, I ran out and got the CD, an clearly started listening to this song in particular, over and over again. I mean, it wasn't even on my radar screen until the last seven weeks of the year, and it ends up at #4? Wow.

If I can say this about a "Christian" Band, these guys kick ass. I also like their commitment to social justice and change. I like that they chose to release their most famous live CD from their tour in South Africa. I REALLY like this CD and the amazing production.

So, the song....it just builds and builds....I am a totally sucker for a song that builds. You have to kind of stick with it all the way through to hear how dramatically it builds. The drum sequences seem intentionally dissonant to the melody, which sort of floats for a while...and then...slowly....it just all comes together. Very very nice production. Pretty decent lyrics. Amazing feeling.

Yes, it's true. For the sheer musicianship itself, I would recommend this CD to almost anybody.

5) "Iris Blue" Johnsmith Kickin' This Stone
I first heard John do this song during a Kerrville Mainstage set (perhaps in 2007?), and was immediately haunted by the lyric. What a great metaphor...that roses, generally, are not very hearty or lasting flowers....but something like an Iris might last a lot longer.

Most songs written about married couples in the "middle" of their marriage are truly horrible, schmaltzy, and generally unlistenable. But John cuts right to the honest heart of it here:

"Could you send along a simple card
No bows and arrows or cupid hearts
Something more real, more everyday
Something that shows the work it takes....

Cause it ain't been all roses...
No, it ain't been all roses...
Thank God love chose us.
'Cause it ain't been all roses."

Beautiful. And true. And that's what makes it a great song.

6) "Thanksgiving" Poi Dog Pondering The Best of Poi Dog Pondering
This is another old and obscure song. The first time I ever heard it was a looong time ago, back during open mics at the old Poor David's Pub on Greenville Avenue. Bill Seely would host those nights, and this was a song he'd often do. These were some of my very first times playing my own stuff publicly, and sometimes there'd be just a few scattered folks there.

"Thanksgiving for every wrong move...that made it right."

Late in the year, I sort of got personally obsessed with the idea of thanking others, giving thanks in general, and attempting to cultivate deeper ideas of thanks within me. That pushed to write my own song of thanksgiving. But it also led me back to this song too.

7) "More Than He Knows" Larry Murante Point of Entry
I've known Larry Murante for several years now. I met him this past May. (Yes, that doesn't make sense, really).

A mutual online friend "introduced" us a few years back and we've been email/Facebook friends since. Didn't get a chance to meet Larry until this year's Kerrville Folk Festival, when he was one of the New Folk Finalists.

Larry came to Kerrville with Robyn Landis, another great singer-songwriter. Robyn and Larry won the Grand Prize at the John Lennon song contest this year for a song they cowrote.

What a thrill to get to know Larry in the "real world." Some of my favorite song circles this May had Larry and Robyn in them. And this was one of the songs he played quite often. I was singing the chorus all the way home in the car, and even titled my post-festival blog after it.

The song is about a mechanic and the beautiful, dawning realization he has about the joy of being alive. I love the way the last line of the verse vocally soars into the chorus. It makes you stop and listen carefully, and fits the words. It's a wonderful song, and Larry's a wonderful writer.

8) "for the god whose name i used to know" cary cooper dirty little secret
Cary Cooper had a new CD this past year, called "dirty little secret." This was one of my favorite songs on the CD, and I even used some of the lyrics in a sermon sometime back. It perfectly describes those many "spiritual but not religious" folks who have been burned, shunned, or rejected by "The Church," or have simply found that the theology they've known all their lives no longer makes sense.

I've known Cary longer than almost any other musician friend. I am so proud to know her, and tremendously respect and admire what she's done with her life and music.

9) "Nothing To Remember" Karyn Oliver Hurricane
I also met Karyn at last Spring's Kerrville Folk Festival. Melanie Schaffner invited her to join us at Camp Nashbill, and she's now not only a Kerrvert, but also a loyal subject of King Bill of Nash. It was so good to have Karyn, Meg Braun, Joe Jencks, and Jaime Michaels camping with us this year. Karyn has an *amazing* voice, and is a great writer and performer. Some of my best memories from this festival were from times around our camp with all these guys and in some great, great song circles and great hanging out.

BTW, for those of you here in Dallas, Karyn is headed our way this very weekend. She'll be opening at Uncle Calvin's on Friday, January 8th, and then playing a house concert at Tom Noe and Linda Silas' place the next night. There are details at her website here.

10) "Links In A Chain" Joe Jencks Links In A Chain
Ditto what I said in the last entry about Joe Jencks too. Although I'd met Joe some years ago at Kerrville (I think he was there for a "South Florida Folk Festival" showcase...) I didn't really get to know him until this festival. Besides songwriting, he and I share a lot of common interests in theology, spirituality and politics and social justice, and so it was very very cool to get to know him. And, given how obscure some of the theological interests are, amazing that he and I were both a part of our little camp. In fact, he's got a new "New Year's" letter on his website that describes some of the conversations we've had about life, theology, etc...

This song is on his new CD, and it had just come out in time for him to be offering it for sale. It's one of my favorite songs on the CD, and really a strong one that talks about the connections between generations, families, and people. I love the connections between people, and the serendipity that happens as we get closer and form bonds of friendship and sometimes family. This is a great song for remembering all of that.

11) "Rain" Patty Griffin 1000 Kisses

12) "Chief" Patty Griffin 1000 Kisses
These last two were also a part of my rediscovery of Patty Griffin this year....

13) "Beautiful Thing" Slaid Cleaves Everything You Love Will Be Taken Away
Another one from Slaid Cleaves' great new CD.

14) "edge of the world" cary cooper dirty little secret
A little over a year ago, a mutual friend of both Cary and me had perhaps the most unthinkable tragedy befall her: Her son died in a car crash. My earliest memories of the Kerrville Folk Festival are of Cary and this friend together...they were inseparable in those days. Cary wrote "edge of the world" for her, in the wake of this tragedy. It's an incredible song about a terrible tragedy.

15) "Birds" Dan Fogelberg Love In Time
I wrote earlier this year about this CD here, but, here's the nutshell again. Sometime after Dan realized he could likely die from his prostate cancer, he finished master recordings for a final CD, put them in a envelope inside of a safety deposit box, and asked his wife to see to releasing it after his death.

This year, she was able to do that, and Fogelberg's "Love in Time" hit the stores. Interestingly, my favorite song on this CD is a different one called "So Many Changes."

But this song made the chart for different reasons. It's actually an old Neil Young song that closes the CD, and it's really a powerful way to end the CD.

"When you see me fly away without you
Shadow on the things you know
Feathers fall around you
And show you the way to go
It’s over....it’s over."

As I wrote in in that other blog:

"That would be enough. But there's a final chord. A final chord that I won't give away here.

Sufficed to say, it brings things "full circle" for anybody who has loved Dan's music from its beginning. I don't know whether it's a touch he intended, or whether it was added later on.

Where ever it came from, may I just say "thank you."

It moved me to tears. Again, not giving away the farm here; just get a copy and give it a listen. If you're a longterm Danfan, you won't be able to miss the musical homage that closes this last song, and closes a circle on his entire life and work in music."

16) "Dream Again" David Wilcox Open Hand
I had the good fortune to see DW twice this year, first at the Wildflower Festival back in May, and then again when he played Uncle Calvin's for the very first in time ever. This is probably my favorite song form the new CD. Like its title, the lyrics have a dream-like quality. And although the verse/chorus structure of the song stays the same, the lyrics build in each verse, and you suddenly realize it's about more than it was a few lines before.

Is it about a couple? A generation? A nation? The election? All of it? None of it?

Yes.

17) "True and Fine" Drew Nelson Dusty Road to Beulah Land
Drew is a songwriter friend I met at Kerrville a few years back. It seems to me he's been had some great years, personally and professionally since then. This song is on his new CD, and there's a part of it that evokes being at the festival itself.

Drew's also begun building guitars which, for him, is a bit like a Jedi making his own Light Saber. In fact, it's a lot like that. Got to see/play his first one at the festival. It was sweet.

18) "Making Pies" Patty Griffin 1000 Kisses
Yes, yet another one from the Patty Griffin CD. Boy, I sure liked this one....

19) "Dreams" Slaid Cleaves Everything You Love Will Be Taken Away
Yet another one from Slaid Cleaves' great new CD.

20) "More Of A Man" Andy Gullahorn Reinventing The Wheel
Andy was definitely a "Columbus Discovery" for me this year. I heard him at the Wildflower Festival in May, in a "Writers in the Round" circle. Sometime about this song really struck me. A *great* metaphor about what it means to "be a man." It's funny, tender, and true all in three and a half minutes. I loved this song so much, I rushed down to the table and immediately bought the CD. It pretty much describes my life these days.

He's got a great voice, and a really tight style. His voice and some of his musical phrasings are wonderfully evocative of Jackson Browne (surely I'm not the only one who's noticed this...)

I also genuinely loved his song "Holy Ground," which I'm kinda surprised didn't make this list...

21) "Coming Over Me" Betty Soo Little Tiny Secrets
Betty Soo is a great writer from Austin, and although we have a lot of mutual friends, I've never really gotten to know her real well. But I love her music and I love this first song from her newest CD. Got to see her at Wildflower (that same circle with Andy), Uncle Calvin's, and at Kerrville, in and around the Rouse House Camp this May. Her songs are smart and funny and very human, and the production on this CD is fantastic.

BTW, I think she has one of the coolest website designs out there right now.

22) "Crooked" Jaime Mchaels Crooked
One of my big joys at Camp Nashbill this year was having a tent right next to Jaime's and to get to spend good time with him. It was a big year for him at the festival, as it was his first "mainstage" performance ever. He had a great set. This is the title track from his great new CD, and was one he did a lot around campfires last Spring. I have great memories of us all singing along with the beautiful and tender "oohs."

Jaime's been a touring musician for many years, and I'm really pleased to see the success he's having.

"Sometimes I only want to listen, to what the universe is saying..."

It'll knock you off your feet.

23) "One Spectacular Moon" Jaime Michaels Crooked
This was another one from Jaime. And another one that Jaime sang around many a campfire last May.

Now, every time I look up at a big beautiful moon, I think of this line.

24) "Love Is The Reason" Joe Jencks Links In A Chain
Another song from Joe. Really strong lyrics, and is certainly in the category of songs I'd wish I'd written.

25) "Point of Entry" Larry Murante Point of Entry
One final one from Larry Murante. The title track from his great CD, about not being afraid to let the world in.

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The Most Trying Time of All

Although you could probably make a good argument that this post is more appropriate for January 7th, almost no one outside a small group of insiders could tell you why.

So, in praxis, what follows is most appropriate today.

It's the final lines of W.H. Auden's "For the Time Being," a long drama that he called "A Christmas Oratorio." First published in 1945, it has become a Christmas tradition for some, including me.

And it has been the inspiration for all sorts of other artistic dreaming including, among other things, this title.

The passage I'm posting the below is the very end, the last lines, of this long Christmas drama. The main speaker is the "Narrator," who in my head is something akin to the narrator of "Our Town."

I'll just post it now with little more comment. Except to say that, IMHO, there really are no more perfect words for the day.

From W.H. Auden's "For the Time Being"

"NARRATOR:
Well, so that is that. Now we must dismantle the tree,
Putting the decorations back into their cardboard boxes
Some have got broken and carrying them up to the attic.
The holly and the mistletoe must be taken down and burnt,
And the children got ready for school.

There are enough
Left-overs to do, warmed-up, for the rest of the week
Not that we have much appetite, having drunk such a lot,
Stayed up so late, attempted quite unsuccessfully
To love all of our relatives, and in general
Grossly overestimated our powers.

Once again
As in previous years we have seen the actual
Vision and failed
To do more than entertain it as an agreeable Possibility,
Once again we have sent Him away,
Begging though to remain His disobedient servant,
The promising child who cannot keep his word for long.

The Christmas Feast is already a fading memory,
And already the mind begins to be vaguely aware
Of an unpleasant whiff of apprehension at the thought
Of Lent and Good Friday which cannot, after all, now
Be very far off.

But, for the time being, here we all are,
Back in the moderate Aristotelian city
Of darning and the Eight-Fifteen, where Euclid's geometry
And Newton's mechanics would account for our experience,
And the kitchen table exists because I scrub it.
It seems to have shrunk during the holidays. The streets
Are much narrower than we remembered; we had forgotten
The office was as depressing as this.

To those who have seen
The Child, however dimly, however incredulously,
The Time Being is, in a sense, the most trying time of all.

For the innocent children who whispered so excitedly
Outside the locked door where they knew the presents to be
Grew up when it opened. Now, recollecting that moment
We can repress the joy, but the guilt remains conscious;

Remembering the stable where for once in our lives
Everything became a You and nothing was an It.
And craving the sensation but ignoring the cause,
We look round for something, no matter what, to inhibit
Our self -reflection, and the obvious thing for that purpose
Would be some great suffering.

So, once we have met the Son,
We are tempted ever after to pray to the Father;
"Lead us into temptation and evil for our sake."

They will come, all right, don't worry; probably in a form
That we do not expect, and certainly with a force
More dreadful than we can imagine.

In the meantime
There are bills to be paid, machines to keep in repair,
Irregular verbs to learn, the Time Being to redeem
From insignificance.
The happy morning is over,
The night of agony still to come; the time is noon:
When the Spirit must practise his scales of rejoicing
Without even a hostile audience, and the Soul endure
A silence that is neither for nor against her faith
That God's Will will he done, that, in spite of her prayers,
God will cheat no one, not even the world of its triumph.

CHORUS:
He is is Way.
Follow Him through the Land of Unlikeness;
You will see rare beasts, and have unique adventures.
He is the Truth.
Seek Him in the Kingdom of Anxiety;
You will come to a great city that has expected your return for years.
He is the Life.
Love Him in the World of the Flesh;
And at your marriage all its occasions shall dance for joy."

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VITÆ

Eric Folkerth is a minister, musician, author and blogger.

He has been Senior Pastor of Northaven United Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas since 2001. During his tenure, church membership has grown almost 30 percent, and a completely new church facility (sanctuary and education building) has been constructed. Northaven is a leading progressive Christian congregation in the Southwest.

Northaven is an eclectic collection of gay and straight families, artists, musicians, theater folks, academic theologians, lawyers and judges (go figure), socially conscious community activists, people who don't "check their brain at the door," and a wide array of others who either see it as their "last chance" inside the "institutional church," or their first trip back in decades.

Eric is an avid blogger and published author. 

Eric is also an award-winning singer-songwriter, who performs throughout Texas and the Southwest. He's an engaging live performer whose first CD was released in 2000. His songs have won honorable mention in both the Billboard and Great American song contests; and he's been a finalist in the 5th Street Festival and South Florida Folk Festival songwriter competitions.

Eric is also a leader of Connections, a unique band comprised of United Methodist clergy and layfolk from throughout North Texas. Connections performs "cover shows" of artists like Dan Fogelberg, Chicago, Eagles, Doobie Brothers, Billy Joel, Stevie Wonder, James Taylor and others. Their shows draw crowds of between 300 and 1,000 fans, and they have raised more than $240,000 dollars for worthy charities.

Eric has led or co-led hundreds of persons on mission trips around the globe, to places such as Mexico, Haiti, Russia, and Nepal. He has worked with lay persons to build ten homes, and one Community Center, in partnership with Habitat for Humanity of Dallas. He's a popular preacher, and often tackles challenging issues of social justice in his writings and sermons.

His wife, Judge Dennise Garcia, is a State District Judge for Dallas, County. As judge of the 303rd Family District Court, she consistently gets high ratings from area lawyers, and was named "best judge" by The Dallas Observer. First elected in 2004, she was the first Latina ever elected to a county-wide bench in Dallas County. She was re-elected for a third term in 2010.

They have the world's best daughter, Maria, and an incredible dog, Daisy.

(As always, if you like this post, then "like" this on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...)

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A Resolute "No"

It's New Year's Day morning, the Sun has taken over for last night's Blue Moon, and it is awfully quiet around here. We hosted an NYE party for Maria and five of her 12-year-old friends last night, and everybody is apparently still snoozing in the other room. I have no idea how late they stayed up. But they seemed to have fun with the party hats, noisemakers and such. Just after midnight, we stepped out under the clear Blue Moon and lit some sparkler. It was a nice moment.

For anybody who missed it, I wrote a new song recently that sums up how I feel about New Year's Day. Hear it here.

As for resolutions, I used to be pretty obsessed with making them. Having failed miserably to keep them, I stopped cold turkey a few years back.

Somehow, I am feeling the desire to make a few again. Mainly because, to me, making them not only helps my process of looking forward, but also of reflecting back on the year that has passed. So, some resolutions to follow.

OK, two. Yep, just two resolutions for the year.

Keep Walking
Not counting the current Christmas break, this has been a pretty good year, walking-wise, for me. I haven't talked much about it here. But I've been endeavoring to get at last 7,000 steps each day on my Go Zone Pedometer. It helps. I've definitely felt better because of it. And so, I want to keep going with this.

Relearn the power of "No."
This is the biggie. And I've been considering it for some weeks now.

It seems odd to be listing something that is actually a negative as a "resolution," but it is what it is.

Over the past few years, I've gotten very good at "Yes." There is a power that comes from Yes. We had a great, great, GREAT year at Northaven. Much of that comes from myself, and others, saying "Yes" is a lot of great opportunities that came our way.

And it turned out to be all good. Really good. Really, really good.

It's really the same for most of my life too. I have a great life and there is a lot of good stuff happening in it. The cup runneth over. In fact, the cup keeps running...down the sides...down the table leg and all the way to the floor....more grace and more good stuff than I possibly deserve. It's all good. It's what inspired that new song.

It's just too much.

That's such a strange thing to say, really. But there comes a time when you can't "do" any more. Too many times, my schedule is double-booked...or triple-booked. Time and time again, Facebook friends would even make jokes about it ("How do you do it all?") ("How do you keep up with that schedule?") And I'd always think to myself, "Yes, it's a lot...but it's all good" as if that justified every additional meeting and task.

But there comes a moment when you just can't add another meeting. You can't do another favor for somebody else.

Well, you can, but it could kill you.

I don't know how close to that line I am, but I'm pretty sure I walked up to it a time or two this year.

This all came to head this Fall when one of our key staff was out on medical leave. A lot at church fell back on me. Again, all of it was all good stuff, and it all turned out well, but it was just too much. Also this year, I made some commitments to folks in the community that I did not keep. I am deeply embarrassed by this, and am still trying to figure out how to apologize and move forward.

The point is, I got stretched way too thin, and said "Yes," to too many things, let others down, let my family down, and let myself down along the way. Too many times, when in the midst of doing one thing and being one place, I worried about the other places, and the other things, I was "supposed" to be doing at the exact same moment. This eventually robs you of the ability to live in each moment of life. I spent way too much time stressed about all that was undone, or half-done, and how I had let myself and others down.

Also, time and time again, the thing that usually gets left out in this kind of busy schedule is the time for self and family. Too many times, I didn't walk, I didn't journal, I didn't spend the time with family, I didn't work on music, because I said "I can do this one more thing....what will it hurt?"

Probably a lot of folks don't realize how truly introverted I am. Really. No kidding. Painfully introverted. Being out in public is a big daily challenge. For all I ever write publicly, post on Facebook, blogs, etc...for all the events I talk about being a part of, there is a lot that never gets said...private thoughts and feelings that stay private.

As I've said before, I have great sympathy for Brian Wilson, and could easily understand how somebody might spend weeks, months, or even years, eating Cheetos in bed, with the covers over their head.

Along the way, most introverts more or less learn how to "deal" with the extroverted world. (We sort of have to. It's always there.)

Some of us "cover" pretty well for the most part. But if we don't take that time to replenish, it catches up with us in spades. And, unlike extroverts, we don't replenish by being engaged with the world, but by withdrawing regularly and frequently.

So, when I get to that moment of saying "what will it hurt?" to add that "one more thing," the answer is, me.

When you have a life where you cups runs over, and there's more than you could ever eat, even if it's all delicious, you still run the risk of, at any moment, becoming Mr. Creosote.

BTW, I also realize that inside of all this previous confession is humbly recognizing that there is GREAT hubris in ever having pretended that I could be all things to all people and do all the potentially possible things.

Yes, there is humility in trying to "be there" for others. But there's is also hubris in imagining that nobody else could do what you do but you. The truth is, I'm not that all-powerful or all-important to the Universe that I can't miss more meetings and events now and then.

So, in sum, while I don't plan to stop saying Yes (way too much good comes from that...), I am hoping to say "No" more too, at least on a personal level and as it relates to my own schedule and how I spend my time.

Maybe it will be waiting before saying an immediate "Yes." You know, taking a day to think things over before jumping in to something...not double-scheduling days (as much as it is up to me) and saying "No" to some things so I can say "Yes" to others.

There's a lot about Stephen Covey's writing I don't like. But there's one line that has always stayed with me, at least in my head. This year, I'm hoping it makes it back into my heart:

"It's easy to say "No" when there is a deeper "Yes" burning within."

I'm so pleased with what has been going on at church this past year. But I'm going to trust in staff and lay folk to do their jobs, and try to simply concentrate on the basics of what I can, and should, be doing.

I'm so pleased with everything that's been going on with Connections the past few years. But some of it has been at the expense of my own music. I need to get back to that....more recording...more writing...more playing my stuff...to finally finish that long-delayed CD.

When I say "Yes" to other demands, I put off things that could be helpful to me...
...exercise
...prayer/journaling
...my own music
...family time.

I need to remember that these are the "deeper Yesses" I have within me.

~~~~~~~~

So, that's it, in a nutshell...walk and relearn the power of "No" so that I might say "Yes" to my life.

And keep giving thanks for all the crazy-good things that life brings my way.

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