The Light Dawns Slowly

Important relearned life lesson during the past few weeks:

I am not in control.

I know this. I really do. I teach/preach/sing it all the time. I celebrate with others when they re-discover it too. But it seems to me that the most important life lessons get learned and relearned. We have short memories. The light comes on, then flickers off again. Or, sometimes the light just dawns slowly.

Speaking of lights, the thing that helped me relearn this important life-lesson were some lights. Sanctuary lights, to be specific. You see, back in late May (on Pentecost Sunday to be exact) the main lights in our sanctuary burned up. At least one of them caught fire and shed a small piece of burning plastic that drifted 50-plus feet down, onto the head of a worshipper.

It was pretty spectacular.

And, yes, it's true: tongues of real fire fell on the heads of Northaven members during Pentecost Sunday worship.

Just sayin'

Anyway, I missed most of it as it happened during the postlude and I was already out in the hall. But Mary Clair came running out of the sanctuary, screaming "Call 911!"

I thought somebody must've fainted or gotten sick, so I went back in to find everybody just kind of staring quizzically up at the ceiling. No one was injured and a quick flick of the switches insured that none of the remaining lights would sizzle out in similar fashion. (btw: I have mused a bit at how everybody just stood there, staring up, seemingly unworried about the potential of additional burning debris...)

There's a back story here too: This is the third time in three years that these lights --despite being installed in complete accordance with the manufacturer's specifications-- have burned out. Clearly, it's an issue. So, we didn't rush to fix them right away. At least we didn't rush to fix them *back* the same way. (Fool me once...won't get fooled again...)

So, we spent much of the summer making due without lights that are now affectionately known as "The Ring of Fire." Which wasn't bad since the Sun is so high in the sky and stays up wonderfully late. But as September shadows started to grow, we began to get antsy about it. OK, I began to get antsy about it. I knew that there would come a time when natural light wasn't gonna get us by. Even more to to the point, that there'd be a time when the Sun would literally set on some evening events.

Sure enough, on one particular September Sunday, it was cloudy and rainy and it was really really dark in the sanctuary.

So, replacement parts were ordered. An idea was formulated to "hard wire" each light fixture. (They'd been on tracks up that point...)

The goal was to get them in before a major event early the next month: The "Second Monday Series" with Monsignor Don Fisher. It was scheduled to meet on Thursday, October 1st. (Don't ask...)

The parts for the lights finally came in on the Monday of that week, a week that our building manager, Chuck Cummings, was scheduled to be off. Nevertheless, the work needed to be done. And, the installers told us that it would probably take two days of work.

What could possible go wrong?

It's really quite a spectacular thing to see the lights being worked on, btw. Here's a pic or two:





They are so high up in the sky that it takes a huge crane, which literally drives in through our double doors, to get up there to them.

Anyway, work began Monday on the two-day job. But the two-day job turned into two-and-a-half. As you can see from the pics, there are eight sections of lights. By noon Wednesday, only TWO of the eight were done!

Yikes. Anybody can do the math on that and see we're not gonna make this deadline. We might not even have lights for Sunday at that rate!

So, we made alternate plans, just like John Lennon said. We reset the big meeting room upstairs full of chairs, and I called Bob Stewart, our layperson in charge in this program, to break the bad news. We'd probably have to move upstairs and that probably would mean not enough chairs for the 200 or so folks we expected might come. Bob was disappointed, as you might imagine. I was too. I mean one bad experience like this could kill a whole program, right?

Still, we were ready with Plan B.

Then, by noon Thursday, things looked like they were turning around. Suddenly, the workers had surged ahead and SIX of the eight light-poles were finished. Wow. That changed everything. It meant that there was every chance we could get this done in time for the event that night. And if we could move back in the sanctuary that would be clearly preferred.

So, I jumped up into the ceiling myself, to readjust the performance lights. You see, in addition to the "Ring of Fire," the sanctuary has some robotic and "Lekko" lights that normally are pointed at the chancel area, choir, organ, etc. (Think mood lighting).

During our months sans the Ring of Fire, we'd moved them around to provide light for worshippers. Which is really not a great idea, since all they really do is blast stage lighting into the eyes of people who are not used to it.

But, I knew that really we probably needed to readjust those lights too. As Chuck was off, and other volunteers who have moved them before have literally themselves moved to Arkansas, I got up there and got busy.

Well, after about an hour and half of that, I was almost done. But just then, I gashed my knee. Pretty spectacularly too. Bent down and cut a nice seam down the middle of it on a metal junction box that I just didn't see. So, I climbed down out of the ceiling and told everybody that I had to go home to fix it up. (Yes, it can be told now, I probably should have gotten stitches...)

As I left, I looked up and the workers were still working on those last two light poles. It appeared they'd gotten nowhere in the past two hours. It didn't seem to me that there was any way these lights were getting done. I mean, not only did they have to finish and re-aim the lights, but they had to drive those big cranes out, sweep the floors and reset all the chairs.

So, as I bled across the floors, walking dejectedly to my car, I thought "What a waste...we're not going to make it."

Even worse, I'm not going to be able to be there to help. I literally can't help because I'm too hurt.

I got my knee bandaged, change my clothes and make it back to the about 5 pm. And much to my shock, the cranes were gone, the floor was swept, and the lights are ON! Wow! What an amazing recovery.

I gazed up at the lights for the first time in several months, filled with the satisfaction that a crisis has been averted through hard work, planning and dogged determination. It all worked out because WE worked hard it. My cut knee was worth the sacrifice!

So, I go into my office for a scheduled 5:30 meeting with some folks. And somewhere around 6 pm, a HUGE thunderstorm rolls in. I mean HUGE. Suddenly, there's a massive lightening strike...probably a quarter mile away. And....all the power goes out in the building! All of it. Total darkness.

So now, not only do we not have lights in the sanctuary, we don't have AC, a sound system, or a way to see in the bathroom. 200 people coming in t-minus 55 minutes and counting, and probably on their way at that moment. Oncor will only say that the power will be out until at least 9 pm, well after we're scheduled to be done.

Good Lord.

What a demoralizing turn of events. All our hard work and planning for naught.

So, we pull out every known candle in the building (and we do have a few...) and put them in the sanctuary.

When Monsignor Fisher arrives, about 20 minutes ahead of the event, we tell him the situation and he laughs and responds quite graciously.

He says, "You know what will happen? Those lights will come back on at just the right moment. I'll be saying something, or you'll be saying something and at just the right moment they will come back on."

I said, "Well, thank you for your understanding attitude," and then I turned to hand an altar candle to a woman so she could light her way to the bathroom. (She was Catholic and I think that mortified her a little, btw...)

Actually, there by the candle-light, the sanctuary looked quite lovely. I mean, the topic *was* contemplative practices. Maybe nobody would notice?

;)

At a little after 7 pm, I got up to make a welcome and apology to the crowd. I felt really defeated, but tried not to let on. We'd worked so hard to get the room ready. I'd sacrificed with my literal blood and sweat. At least the lights were off so nobody would see my knee bleeding through my pants.

Then Bob Stewart got up to introduce the Monsignor. It's so dark, he can't even see his written notes.

Bob finishes with a flourish and says, "So, would you please welcome Father Don Fisher."

And right as Don Fisher takes the center stage, with the applause still ongoing, the lights came on! As if on cue. Stephen Spielberg could not have timed it better.

Peals of applause turn into laughter.

Then, everyone stops laughing and begins to settle in. Monsignor Fisher picks up the mic and simply moves on as if nothing at all strange had happened.

I, however, am at the back of the room, still laughing so hard that I almost have to excuse myself. Between giggles, I snap this Treo picture of Monsignor Fisher:



I am pretty sure it's blurry because of my chuckling.

I am laughing at myself.

I am laughing at my own hubris that believed that whether or not the lights came on had anything to do with me, or were any kind of reflection on me and my ministry. I am laughing at my bleeding knee, in the way I assume Jacob eventually laughed at his night of angel-wrestling.

I am laughing at how hard I was trying to be "in control," and how futile that always is.

I know this. I really do. But, probably like many of you, I forget. I expect to be able to work hard and be rewarded --perhaps even lauded-- for my efforts. I expect accolades for going the extra mile.

Which reminds me of a great line that Len Sweet posted to Facebook just two days ago, apparently a Jewish proverb:

“Expecting world to treat you fairly because you're good person is like expecting a bull not to charge because you're vegetarian.”

Ho man. That'll preach.

It's true. We get caught up in our expectations. Then our expectations create worry and work in us, to the point that we forget to trust in the Spirit, forget that we are *not* in charge.

One of my favorite learnings from Jim Finley has been this little way to enter into a time of meditation. It's a way to "center down" beneath and beyond our thoughts. He encourages us to say these lines and, in between, breath in and out deeply, making sure to be conscious of your breathing:

"Be still and know I am God..."
(breath)

"Be still and know I am..."
(breath)

"Be still and I know..."
(breath)

"Be still..."
(breath)

"Be..."

Whenever I do this exercise, I find myself immediately centered back down into myself, into a deeply spiritual place. It's a powerful reminder, again, that I am me, that I am not you, and that I am not God. I am not all-powerful.

I am me. God is God. I am. God is. And this is good.

It's the kind of spiritual truth we all need to experience, and that we all probably need to experience more often than we usually do.

Every now and then, if we're lucky, the truth that we are not in control is a light that dawns on us, whether or not the real lights ever do.

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Me Braun @ Opening Bell

Wanted to be sure everybody heard about Meg Braun's show tomorrow night at Opening Bell in Dallas.

I met Meg this May at Kerrville, when she not only became a "Kerrvert," but was also firmly initiated into the Camp Nashbill family. (Those of you for whom that last sentence made no sense, just smile and nod...)

Meg's been on a short tour of Texas, making stops in Austin and here.

She's got a CD called "Tomboy Princess," and is a mighty fine songwriter. Here's her website.

Here are the details:

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
7:00pm
Opening Bell Coffee
1409 South Lamar, Basement #012
Dallas, TX 75215

Opening Bell, formerly known as Standard and Pours (can I get sued for that?!) is a great venue in the Southside area. Hope you'll plan now to come out and see Meg!

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Camp Nashbill Virtual Song Circle

Many of us love a good song circle. Among the circles we love the most are the song circles at "Camp Nashbill" at the Kerrville Folk Fest.



In the belief that "it can be this way always," below you will be our growing attempt at a "virtual song circle," uploaded songs from our Camp Nashbill friends.

The playlist should include songs contributed by our many members and friends. If you upload your own, please let us know and we'll add it.





Songs from:
Karyn Oliver
Jaime Michaels
Eric Folkerth
Meg Braun

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$70,000

Connections debuted our new show last night, the SuperHits of the 70s.

It was a fantastic night. We had over 350 persons in attendance and, as they say, a good time was had by all.

Even with all the planning and forethought that goes into a show like this, we never really know how it'll turn out until we're in front of an audience. It was so great to be in front of our "host church" and to have them be so appreciative.

This show was more of a group effort than ever. There were more band members finding music, and writing charts. More singers singing lead. Quite a few women singing lead.

And, best of all, we can now announce that we've officially gone over the $70,000 mark in funds raised all time.

Check out the most current graph:



If you missed this show, take heart. We'll be going this one a lot in the first half of 2010. And if that's too long to wait, then we can help you with that too.

We're doing it again on October 24th. Details here.

Thanks again, everybody.

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"Love In Time," A Final Gift from Dan Fogelberg

Most of you who know my musical tastes know the hallowed, and unabashed, place that Dan Fogelberg holds in my heart.

Dan died far too young. To this day, many times when I'm listening to his music, it's hard for me to fathom that he's been gone for almost two years now.

And even now, in ways that embarrass me to admit, I can find myself weepy at his loss. I've covered this before. I can't explain it, except to acknowledge what that means for the obvious place his music holds in my musical DNA and personal history.

When any musician dies, we tend to say that their music lives on after them. But in Dan Fogelberg's case, his music now speaks beyond death itself.

Today, more than a year and a half after his death, comes a surprising new gift: a studio CD.

It's titled "Love in Time," and features eleven new tracks recorded at Dan's Mountain Bird Studio. You can get it online here. Here's the link to the iTunes store.

In 2006, Dan was in the midst of collecting material for a "live" CD. (From what I can tell, that disk never materialized). But once he got the diagnosis of prostate cancer, he went to work collecting and recording new studio cuts instead. He put them on a master tape, placed them in a safety deposit box, and wrote a note to his wife requesting they be released upon his death.

(This, of course, causes me wonder if --despite his public statements about how he expected to beat the disease-- perhaps he knew early on how serious his situation was?)

"Love in Time" was actually released digitally on Dan's birthday, back in August, so I've been listening to a copy the past few weeks. What a gift of love from an artist who loved his craft and understood we'd all love to hear from him one last time.

It's classic Fogelberg. As with many of his CDs, he played most of the instruments himself. OK, he played ALL the instruments! He also provides photography and drawings for the packaging. Again, a common thing for his other projects, since he was an accomplished painter and photographer too.

As I think I've mentioned before, this is one of the things that really attracted me to Fogelberg initially...that even in his prime, when you held a new Fogelberg record in your hand, you knew it was a gift that was "all him" (songwriting, instrumentation, art work, production....) from start to finish.

"Love in Time" contains a nice cross-section of styles that have always been a part of Dan's musical DNA. The title track starts off the disk, with lyrics that caught my attention:

"The winds of fortune rarely grace
Those who try to force the pace
And will not see
That love can’t be had for free

Those who try to place a price on
The value of their sacrifice
Will suffer long
Theirs is the saddest sound"

A powerful message from somebody who surely understood life's sufferings at the very moment he recorded the song.

"Soft Music," which Dan didn't write, features a nice interlude that will remind you of the best of Dan's lush production (ala: Netherlands, Wild Places, etc...) through the years.

As you might expect, there are ballads such "Sometimes a Song," which Dan recorded for his wife and was released as a single last year. It's raised quite a bit of money for prostate cancer research.

There's a nice acoustic blues tune, "Nature of the Game." If you ever saw Dan live, you'll recall how great he was one the acoustic slide. This is probably the best example of his blues playing in his released catalogue.

"Come to the Harbor" has a nice Beatles-ish feel to it (think: Norwegian Wood), and lyrics that evoke his love for the coast of Maine. I couldn't help but think of this story as I heard it.

Perhaps my favorite song on the CD is the also shortest (clocking in at just 2:52). "So Many Changes" again features a powerful message for somebody walking his road:

"Do you think that it’s wise
To be cursing the cloudy skies
Don’t come to me with your cries
When the sun’s shining in your eyes"

Some really tasty and bright acoustic guitar work on this one too. (Been picking it out over the weekend...)

"Days To Come" will remind fans of the themes of loss and change that run through "The Innocent Age"

"Tell me true do you still believe the prophets

That you found among the clouds of youthful skies

Broken dreams line your face like stormy weather

But you can’t stay dry forever in the rain
The truth should now be plain

You can’t go back again."

But for the hardcore Danfan, it's the final track that will get you. It's a Neil Young song called "Birds," and the message is clear enough:

"When you see me fly away without you
Shadow on the things you know
Feathers fall around you
And show you the way to go
It’s over....it’s over."

That would be enough. But there's a final chord. A final chord that I won't give away here.

Sufficed to say, it brings things "full circle" for anybody who has loved Dan's music from its beginning. I don't know whether it's a touch he intended, or whether it was added later on.

Where ever it came from, may I just say "thank you."

It moved me to tears. Again, not giving away the farm here; just get a copy and give it a listen. If you're a longterm Danfan, you won't be able to miss the musical homage that closes this last song, and closes a circle on his entire life and work in music.

Thanks to Jean Fogelberg for shepherding this CD to its completion. Thanks to all those who worked to make it happen.

And most of all thanks to Dan who, throughout a career that created so many memories for so many of us, has given us one final and generous gift.

(As always, if you like this post, then "like" this on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too...)

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Apology Still Needed

Let me first say that I still have not seen President Obama's speech to our nation tonight. We're decided to make it a "homework night" around here, so the television is off.

However, I have already seen one clip from the speech, involving the unbecoming behavior of Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina.

Rep. Wilson heckled President Obama in the middle of his speech, and specifically at the moment when Obama was promising that healthcare reform will not cover illegal immigrants. He yelled out that President Obama is a liar.

Before I get into his behavior and the apology he still owes the nation, I am gong to pretend for a moment that the question his outburst begs is one that needs answering.

During the entire month of August, the blogosphere has been burning up with the allegation that President Obama does support covering illegal immigrants, despite his repeated denials on this point.

Some say they do not believe President Obama because they do not trust him.

Others say they do not believe President Obama because of a report from a committee related to Congress which has pointed out linquistic inconsistencies in one of the three bills working its way through the House.

Best I can tell, this linguistic inconsistency, in one of three possible House bills, is the only tangible evidence that anyone can point to for this claim that illegal immigrants will be "covered" under healthcare reform. What the committee actually found is that it *might* leave the door open to illegal immigrants to get healthcare.

Not *will.*

Might.

But as you will see in a moment, it's a moot point. Because after Rep. Wilson's stunning breach of etiquette tonight, I used the miracle of "The Google," and in about ten seconds was downloading a copy of HB 3200, the current bill from the House Ways and Means Committee.

You can download it too. Knock yourself out here.

Then after you're done, scroll down to page 143. Or, alternatively, search the file for the word "alien."

If you're too hurried to do either of those, let me just cite Section 246, lines 3-7:

3 SEC. 246. NO FEDERAL PAYMENT FOR UNDOCUMENTED ALIENS.
"Nothing in this subtitle shall allow Federal payments for affordability credits on behalf of individuals who are not lawfully present in the United States."

So, before we go any further, I want to ask all those who might believe in Rep. Wilson's claim this question:

Do you still believe there is any legitimate reason, beyond paranoia, to call President Obama a "liar" on this issue?

The facts are these:

1) There is no final bill yet. Everything (yes, including this language) is still being negotiated.
2) I have just provided proof that at least one of the three House bill explicitly rejects providing coverage to illegal immigrants.
3) President Barack Obama has repeatedly promised (including tonight) that the final bill will not allow coverage for illegal immigrants.

With those three facts before us, is there any credible reason to call President Obama a "liar" on this issue?

You see, even if one investigates the alleged "lie" behind Rep. Wilson's outburst, we find there is no factual basis for claiming that President Obama has lied.

Which bring us to the outburst itself...

As just about everyone on the left and right have said tonight, this outburst was totally unacceptable from a member of Congress. Many thanks to Senator John McCain for courageously calling on him to apologize and to do so quickly. And, from all accounts, he did apologize to President Obama earlier tonight.

But his apology remains incomplete because his offense was not simply to President Obama, but to all Americans.

Rep. Wilson's behavior might be acceptable at in the British Parliament. It might be acceptable on the Jerry Springer Show. We might even (and apparently do) tolerate it in "Town Hall" meetings. But that kind of outburst has no place during an address to Congress by the President of the United States.

Rep. Wilson owes us all an apology.

Not only does he appear to be wrong on the facts, he is most certainly wrong in his personal conduct, and should immediately revise and extend his apology to include the entire nation.

I decried the tone of rhetoric in our society right now sometime back in another blog entry.

In my wildest imagination, I never would have guessed we'd be decrying that same socially unacceptable behavior on the floor of Congress!!!

Rep. Wilson's behavior in no way besmirches the reputation of the vast majority of good Republicans in government.

Instead, until he extends and broadens his apology, his behavior besmirches us all.

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All the Good We Can: A Sermon on Healthcare

Sunday's sermon seems to be getting a lot of positive comment from folks in various quarters. When that happens, I tend to post it to my personal blog, in the hopes that anybody else who might find it helpful can easily find it.

It's a sermon about healthcare. As you can't help but know, this issue pervades our society right now. This is the second time I've preached on this timely issue in recent months.

I am not a politician or social scientist, but I am a preacher, among other things; and so at the encouragement of folks in our congregation, I preached this sermon about healthcare last Sunday:





If you can't see the player on this page, click here to go to the file.

In the sermon, I mention the United Methodist view on healthcare. The quote I cite comes from the 2008 Discipline, and is a part of the United Methodist Church's official position on healthcare, adopted by the 2008 General Conference. (For those outside our denomination who might not know, the General Conference is the only group authorized to speak on behalf of the whole church...)

In case anybody's interested, here is the excerpt I cited:

"Providing the care needed to maintain health, prevent disease, and restore health after injury or illness is a responsibility each person owes others and government owes all, a responsibility government ignores at its peril..health care is best funded through the government's ability to tax each person equitably and directly fund the provider entities...We believe it is a governmental responsibility to provide all citizens with health care."
-- The General Conference of the United Methodist Church, Paragraph 162 of the 2008 Book of Discipline

Following up on this statement from the Discipline, the General Board of Church in Society has put together this website which also has important information about healthcare and healthcare reform. You might also find it helpful.

Finally, several folks have asked about the quote from Wesley. It's a good one too, and here it is:

"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."

That quote is a part of my ever-growing number of "Credo-Bytes."

As always, you're free to disregard a Methodist preacher's point of view. But I hope some might find it helpful as they sort through their own views on this important issue.

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